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(possibly a bit feministy...) To get annoyed when posters compare people here to playground bullies etc.?

(43 Posts)
LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 10:29:48

I find the choice of phrase irritating, and the accusation generally unfounded.

When men disagree and are twatty and rude on websites, they are just Doing The Internet.

When it's women behaving in the same way, somebody ALWAYS compares them to Queen Bees at school, or bullying bjitches or pisses me off beyond belief, and I find myself mentally deducting credibility points from anybody who uses the word "playground", usually with the breathless anticipation of being commended for their startlingly original and incisive social observation. It is a really tired and over-used comparison.

And it NEVER gets said about men, only women. So it's sexist as well as crap.

I am illing and taking to my bed for a bit, but I want you to tell me if I am being grumpy and unreasonable, or if you know what I mean and saying it should be banned as the metaphor of dullards. TIA...

pippilongsmurfing Wed 31-Aug-11 10:31:30

Whatever, you bullying bjtch

Pinot Wed 31-Aug-11 10:32:31

<arf> pippi

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 10:33:33


cuttingpicassostoenails Wed 31-Aug-11 10:34:29

Leboff...over here...shhhhhh...don't yell that Pippilongsurfing that I'm talking to you. She's a bully, she is. D'you want a suck on my lolly? I won't share it with anyone else but you. We could start a clique.

worraliberty Wed 31-Aug-11 10:35:19

That's not been my experience at all.

The forums I used before I found MN were only about 60% female...and men would be accused of 'playground bullying' just as much as the women.

What I find tiresome is the over use of the word 'bully' in general.

I think it's wrongly used so often, the word's beginning to lose its meaning.

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 10:35:33

I've got 20 B&H I nicked from the shop.

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 10:38:25

I agree, worral- it is becoming synonymous with disagreeing. Interesting about the mixed sex thing- I've mainly been here and never seen it said on more gender-neutral sites.

Oggy Wed 31-Aug-11 10:40:47

Not sure what mens forums you have experience of but I have seen the bullying tag applied to men on many occassions. It's a fairly standard forum accusation IME.

SiamoFottuti Wed 31-Aug-11 10:41:45

I fucking hate it, the victim mentality, the whining.."you're so mean, you big bullies". It's not bullying. You are alone, behind a screen, there are no gangs, there is no intimidation other than that you make up in your daft little head. Switch it off, for shits sake, and go get yourself a real life if you're taking it that seriously.

Quite frankly, its pathetic, and infantile. And puts a big badge on you that says "I'm a whiny little twat".

MrGin Wed 31-Aug-11 10:42:36

The other forum I post on is male dominated car related site. The term 'bully' comes up fairly frequently so I think your facts are wrong.

That said, there is far, far more bitching, snideness and squabbling on MN than any other forum I've visited. I'll refrain from suggesting why that is.

youngwomanwholivesinashoe Wed 31-Aug-11 10:43:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett Wed 31-Aug-11 10:43:06

<doesn't want a big badge>
<does want one of LeBof's fags but>

usualsuspect Wed 31-Aug-11 10:45:23

The you are all bullies seems to be on every bloody thread just lately

SiamoFottuti Wed 31-Aug-11 10:46:02

<forgot about the fags>

Gis one, and your lunch money. Or else <shakes fist>

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 10:47:14

I'm not much of a forum visitor apart from here, but I sometimes read DigitalSpy, MSE, newspaper messageboards, IMDB etc. And have a shufty at invaders when they come here, like pistonheads or that bike one. I accept my manwareness might be a bit less than thorough, but be never seen the playground comparison come up.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Wed 31-Aug-11 10:48:03

I think you're generalising. A bully is a bully, nothing to do with gender. I don't think that differences of opinion constitute bullying but then some people (gender-neutral, again) seem to have very thin skin and want somebody else to come in and call 'bully'. Very tiresome it is too.

WilsonFrickett Wed 31-Aug-11 10:51:18

I think AIBU is pretty, erm, robust, but that's the nature of the beast, isn't it? I would say MN generally can be a bit cliquey but no more than any other forum I've visited. People have good days and bad days. I actually don't believe in the concept of cyber-bullying when it comes to adults. Report the post and switch your computer off, you don't actually need to engage if you don't want to.

beckybrastraps Wed 31-Aug-11 10:54:51

It's the Back-to-School vibe.

It'll pass...

TandB Wed 31-Aug-11 10:56:50

The bullying accusations are getting tedious. Some people seem to think that it is completely unacceptable for more than one person on a thread to disagree with the OP - more than one disagreement apparently = bullying.

Or for a thread to get diverted into any sort of hilarity on a side-topic. That apparently constitutes bullying AND cliquiness.

I have to say, I think some people like to think of themselves as the lone crusading voice desperately fighting back against the might of the MN masses. You see a lot of threads where it goes something like:

MN4: OMG what a vile cesspit of bullies this is. I can't believe I am the only person willing to stand up and say so. Go me!

porcamiseria Wed 31-Aug-11 10:58:06

how on earth is this feminist? just cant see it, sorry! what can we call bullies that not does foeend your delicate sensibilities!?

MmeLindor. Wed 31-Aug-11 11:03:58

I don't think it is the term "bully" that is sexist but the "bitchy" to denote talking nastily about someone behind their back. As if only women do this.

In Germany they talk a lot more about "mobbing" - I quite like that word.

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 11:04:55

<farts all over porcamiseria>

Because I don't think men get infantilised in the same way. They just disagree, have an opinion, or are being a wanker. But women constantly compare each other to children. It's infantilising and sexist.

LeBOF Wed 31-Aug-11 11:06:21

<high-fives Kung-Fu>. That is SO true.

beckybrastraps Wed 31-Aug-11 11:09:15

Ha at kung fu.

And someone will say "MN at it's best hmm"

There's a script...

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