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AIBU?

to not want to take out a loan in just my name?

15 replies

HPonEverything · 31/08/2011 10:04

Would appreciate any advice as I genuinely don't know if this is considered unreasonable or not.

Long story short my DH's van has totally conked out and worth only scrap, he needs a new one urgently as it is his livelihood, it will be at least £8k if not more. We have shares which we could raise the money with but would have to sell at a loss due to current state of the stockmarket. So we are looking at getting a loan to make payments on and then pay off in full when (if) the stockmarket improves.

The cheapest loan rate we can find is with my bank which would be quick and easy, the money straight into my current account the same day, and no real hassle or extra paperwork. Sainsbury's do nearly as good a deal but this would need more time putting into it (I assume) as we don't even have a nectar card and this is a requirement of the loan.

DH wants me to take the loan out with my bank but I'm a bit reluctant to be honest. I'm about to go off on maternity leave and so only have 4 months left of proper salary. I hate the idea of loans and being saddled with a massive debt. I know we're married and in theory we share everything but most of the shares are in his name, and the debt would be in my name for a van in his name, which doesn't seem very balanced.

DH thinks I am being pessimistic with the "but what if you leave me when the baby arrives" stance, and I know it's highly unlikely but who knows! Yes I'm a worrier.

AIBU or not. Please be gentle (I'm heavily pregnant :))

OP posts:

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StuckUpTheFarawayTree · 31/08/2011 10:08

I say if you have any doubt at all, don't do it. It would be in your name, which makes you solely responsible legally. If anything happened between you, it would be down to you alone to repay.

LisasCat · 31/08/2011 10:10

Can he transfer the shares into your name? Or could your bank do it as a joint loan?

I think YANBU, and if in doubt, just have a flick through some of the Relationships threads, where women say "ex-DH took out a loan in my name" or "I'm declaring bankrupcy due to loans my ex-DH left me with in our divorce", etc. Yes, what's yours is his and vice versa, but that should include the risk as well as the money.

BeStillMyBeatingFart · 31/08/2011 10:11

Don't do it.

Do the Sainsbury's thing.

You can get a nectar card online.

KirstyJC · 31/08/2011 10:12

Nope. Don't do it, just don't. If you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. Even though I'm sure it's unlikely he'll leave, it's not right for one person in a relationship to take all the risk.

Morloth · 31/08/2011 10:15

I would take out the loan but put the van in my name so that it isn't unsecured.

Inertia · 31/08/2011 10:17

Can you not take out the loan via your bank but in joint names? Or ideally in your husband's business name? Does it not make things easier in terms of VAT etc anyway if it's done VIA the business?

kelly2000 · 31/08/2011 10:17

Why not open up a joint account and take the loan out in both of your names. It will not take that long. You are not happy with it and you do not need the worry.

TeddyRuxpin · 31/08/2011 10:34

If you take out a loan in joint names and he ended up leaving and not paying it you would still be saddled with the debt. The only way to avoid that is for him to take out a loan in his name only.
Personally, I would cash the shares even if it was at a loss if it was going to cover the cost of a new van rather than taking on debt and paying interest on it.
Of course, that would depend on how much of a loss you would make on the shares compared to what you paid for them in comparison to how much interest you would pay on a loan.
I do think though, if you're not happy taking out a loan in your name only, don't do it.

MorallyBankrupt · 31/08/2011 10:37

Seconded on the shares. The loss they would make would be offset by the interest on the loan...plus the additional worry!

Secrecy · 31/08/2011 10:38

I understand why you don't want to do it - and it is your choice. If you don't want to, don't be pressured into it!

A thought though - with a loan you obviously pay the balance + interest. So it might be better to sell the shares at a loss, if the loss is less than the overall interest that you would pay.

pippilongsmurfing · 31/08/2011 10:41

If you are secure in your relationship I cannot see why you would not do this.
If you feel uncomfortable doing this you must not be very optimistic of the future of your marriage.

I am married and would do this without question, as DH would do for me.
.

HPonEverything · 31/08/2011 10:54

Thanks all for the advice.

The loss we'd make by selling the shares would be significant (talking in terms of thousands due to the particular area he invests in), so selling them isn't really an option. Both DH and I agree on this.

I'm quite happy to take out a joint loan. I'm not insecure in the relationship but who knows what's round the corner, as a previous poster said the Relationships board is full of previously ever-so-optimistic ladies who've ended up in the mire. I'd rather not set myself up for anything that could cause me sleepless nights when I can just sleep soundly and know everything is covered.

Taken bestillmybeatingfart's advice and applied for a nectar card online just in case.

OP posts:

LisasCat · 31/08/2011 11:03

Another thought, and a rather morbid one I'm afraid. If something happens to him, debts in his name would die with him, whereas if it's in solely your name, you'd still have to pay it off. So if you don't want to discuss a potential break up scenario, then perhaps a potential death scenario. I know it's unpleasant, but it's reality, and more people should consider their finances in the event of a death, because there's nothing worse than having to deal with the consequences at the same time as grief. So perhaps this could be your angle.

HPonEverything · 31/08/2011 11:10

Thanks LisasCat that's excellent advice.

And tbh the way he's working/stressing at the moment it's a far more likely scenario anyway.... [/flippancy]

OP posts:

HappyCamel · 31/08/2011 12:31

If it's for his businessvwould it not be better to have it in the business's name or in his so you can defray the cost of the loan (the interest) against tax. If the loan is in your name you can't.

I think you need some proper advice from a busines/tax accountant.

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