if you are going to judge me or say harsh words i really don't want to hear it, tell me if im being unreasonable but please don't abuse me...
DP and i met about 6years ago, i was a full on smoker, and had been for a couple of years, after a year of being together he started smoking to.. 6months later i fell preg with dd and we both gave up the day we found out, (which was very hard btw) a few times in my pregnancy i would smell smoke on him and ask him y, he always has a very good excuse (i was just with XX who had a smoke etc) being suspicious i looked in his work van and found smokes, which i then took and threw out.. lol i never said anything about finding them and he never once mentioned it to me knowing it would start an argument. (would of loved to see the look on his face searching for them tho hehe) he then stopped smelling of smoke and i never once found anymore.
I never planned on starting smoking again but (not that its an excuse) dd was a very bad sleeper ( my own fault i no) at 16months i still had to rock her to sleep, gently place her in bed without waking her, she would wake up an hour or so later and i would start the process all over again, 16months with less then 5hours sleep a night really took a toll on me and i started smoking again, which ment Dp did to...(very very stuiped mistake i know)
18months later we decided to ttc and made a deal that when/if i did get preg again we were to give up smoking again. ( i no this next comment is going to get me some negative feeling but i think i need to be honest)
in New zealand where i live we have this herbal smoke called kronic in which when you smoke it it practically gives you the giggles and is 100% legal. so most night WHEN and only when dd was in bed we would have a little of this smoke and basically laugh at nothing.. never once did we smoke this near or around my daughter! and we would have a couple of drinks every few weeks when dd was at my mums.
back to the story we concieved 7months after 1st trying and like planned we both gave up smoking (which i willl NEVER restart) i have not how ever asked him to stop drinking on occasion and smoking kronic (which can be rather annoying when im sitting here 25weeks preg tierd and sore and hes sitting their laughing at nothing) he has been a bit on the grumpy side lately i asked y and he replied he wants to start smoking again, i really do not want him to as 1. i have smoked alot longer then him and its gonna make it very hard on me to see him doing that, 2. i have not asked him to give up kronic or alcohol so y does he have to smoke to? 3. we made a deal so y is he going back on it? im still working part time at nights, im still running the household, looking after dd aswell as having his son, so y cant he do this 1 simple thing for me that he promised he would do? pls tell me if im being unreasonable? iv been told im being selfish is this true? do i need to just get over it? sorry for the long story just wanted to get all details down
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to be mad at dp for wanting to restart smoking?
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needsanswers · 31/08/2011 00:27
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