My DM does a lot for us, which I do appreciate and tell her that I appreciate what she does all the time, but she is slowly driving me nuts. She looks after DS3 after school and in the holidays, both DH and I work full time. DS1 & 2 are over school age.
She has always had Narc tendencies, which have been managable, but over the last few months it has been getting worse and worse. EVERYTHING has to be turned back to her. For instance, I had a period of time at work where there was the possibility of redundancies. My dept was not affected, and in the end there were no compulsory redundancies made. When I told her this, her reaction was "Oh, wonderful. I have not been able to sleep for weeks worrying about it." No mention of, "Oh, wonderful, at least your job is secure."
Another example is when DS2 got his A level results, not good enough to get to the Uni of his choice, but was then offered a job as a trainee Butcher. Her response was not to congratulate him on his job, but to say to him, "Oh, I am so relieved, I was so upset about your results I have had an upset stomach all day."
I am aware that the examples sound so petty, but it is relentless, all day, every day.
The last straw was today. She took DS3 to an activity, meaning to get him some lunch on the way. BTW - I always make sure that there is plenty of stuff in the house for sandwiches, or soup, or hot food, so there is no need for her to buy more food for him, she chooses to do this.
Anyway, the local shop that she was going to was closed. She then proceeded to take DS3 to the activity, without lunch, so he has just come back now, having not eaten since breakfast time. He is 11 years old, and was upset as he said he has been telling her all afternoon that he was hungry, but she just ignored it. When I asked her about it, she just shrugged and said "Well he is having his tea soon, it won't do him any harm? I didn't have any lunch either, I am so hungry now, I need to go home and eat" WTF. Nothing about leaving a child hungry all afternoon.
I then spoke to her about an incident last week when she invited her friend round to the house, without speaking to me, and without my knowledge.
I said to her "I don't mind if you want to have a friend round for the afternoon, but could you let me know if you do please."
Her response "Why should I let you know?"
Me "Because this is my house and I would like to know who is coming here."
Her "Oh Ok, if I must. I think that it's not necessary really."
Is it me. Am I BU. Am I?
Sorry it's so long, just needed to vent.
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AIBU?
Not sure if I am but fed up anyway.
24 replies
ModreB · 30/08/2011 17:49
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