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For still being cross at DP regarding sickening video? (graphic detail)

(104 Posts)
UpInSmoke Tue 30-Aug-11 15:21:20

Last night DP said to me he had a video online he wanted me to see. I asked what it was and he said to just watch it. So I started watching it and it appeared to be a large ocean type animal thrashing around in water. I asked again what it was and he said to keep watching. The video zoomed out and I realised there was a lot of screaming going on in the background and what appeared to be a person in the water with the animal. I said "what on earth is this?" and he said "just a few more seconds". It then descended into a horrifying video of what looked like a whale repeatedly attacking the person in the water as people watched in horror screaming and running around frantically trying to get the person out. On more than one occasion this giant whale threw itself onto the person, dragged the person around by the arm and swam into the person violently. When it cut out I was really cross at DP and asked again what the hell the video was supposed to be showing and he said it was a video of a whale trainer being killed at seaworld.
I felt physically sick after realising the person had died seconds later, went to bed thinking about it and it's still on my mind this morning.

We're supposed to be visiting Seaworld in May. DP said I needed to see "the truth" about these places (he has always been against us going to the park) but I feel he could have made his point better than this. AIBU? I can't get it out of my head sad

oneofthosedays Tue 30-Aug-11 15:24:29

He should have told you what the vid was before getting you to watch it, then you could have made the decision yourself, so YANBU. But on the other hand once you realised that it wasn't going to be a nice vid there was nothing to stop you walking away was there?

MorelliOrRanger Tue 30-Aug-11 15:25:04

YANBU - not nice of your 'D'P to show you that.

I guess you knew about it anyway as it was on the news last year (if it's the same one). sad

scurryfunge Tue 30-Aug-11 15:27:05

It was well publicised last year.It does highlight the cruelty of these places quite well but you could have stopped watching if you were uncomfortable.

SouthernFriedTofu Tue 30-Aug-11 15:27:10

Well if you already knew he was against it seems like he felt this was the only way to get your attention. I don't see why people expect to be allowed to go and have fun at these places with out knowing the background. You should see the film The Cove it might change your mind. It isn't overly graphic but an award winning film on how animals are cuaght for these places. Very disturbing.

SouthernFriedTofu Tue 30-Aug-11 15:28:42

"not nice" not nice of the OP to want to be able remain ignorant of things whilst looking at the pretty dolphins at sea world.

People need to be treated like grown ups, everything you, you shoudl be held accountable for

FriggFRIGG Tue 30-Aug-11 15:29:03

shock what a TWAT.
sorry but thats just Not Nice.

FriggFRIGG Tue 30-Aug-11 15:30:48

personally i wouldnt want to go myself,but i wouldnt show my DP a video of someone dying just to make a point.

electra Tue 30-Aug-11 15:32:48

YANBU - there is no need to cause you psychological trauma for him to make a point.

UpInSmoke Tue 30-Aug-11 15:33:02

We went to Seaworld in the October before the trainer was killed. She was doing the believe show with "Shamu" and we have her on video talking about the whales etc. If I remember rightly she was killed the following February? After our first visit DP was sicked with the park and always vowed that we would never go back but people forget the good that Seaworld do, the funds they raise for research etc and I always wanted to go back.
Obviously what happened to the trainer was an awful tragedy and I was horrified when I realised it was the woman from our video but still I wanted to go back, mainly for the kids (and perhaps miss out the shamu shows).
I do kind of agree with DP but I really didn't need to see the video. Yes I couldve stopped watching but until it had finished I didn't realise it was going to end in a fatality.

I don't like places like SeaWorld et al, but I'd be beyong pissed off if someone made me watch a video of someone dying to make a point. In fact, how bloody awful for that poor woman's family that her death can be used by someone wanting to get a cheap point across. Nasty.

G1nger Tue 30-Aug-11 15:37:34

What a prick he is. That's really not the way to go about getting a message across.

fluffles Tue 30-Aug-11 15:38:42

so your DP is against you taking your family to the park and you are just going ahead anyway - even though he feels strongly against it? it's just entertainment, it's not like he's asking you to boycott something really essential to your life.

i guess he felt you weren't listening to him... (which i guess you weren't).

eurochick Tue 30-Aug-11 15:39:47

I find places like Seaworld disturbing. Your partner didn't find a pleasant way of getting his point across but I can't criticise his intention. If people didn't go to these places, there would be no need to keep wonderful dolphins and whales in captivity.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Tue 30-Aug-11 15:41:40

Personally I wouldn't go to the park, BUT I would be fuming if my DH showed me something like that.
He was BU to show it to you, but YABU to consider still going.

SouthernFriedTofu Tue 30-Aug-11 15:43:29

OP what could dh have done to get the point across to you? As he has already explained he doesn't want to go back?

Again please watch the The Cove.

UpInSmoke Tue 30-Aug-11 15:46:35

Southern, I will look into that. Is it a movie or documentary?

I guess I am a hypocrite really as I do fully support animal rights and I did quietly question the morals of these oceanic animals swimming around in a tank whilst we were there but I suppose I find it difficult saying no to the kids.

Is Dolphin Cove any kinder?

SmethwickBelle Tue 30-Aug-11 15:49:11

YANBU - I'd feel very differently towards my DH if he thought I needed "teaching a lesson" in this manner (as opposed to discussing it).

HellonHeels Tue 30-Aug-11 15:51:44

YABU. I feel physically sick at the thought of animals being kept in captivity and 'trained' for our so-called entertainment. Perhaps you and your DH could educate your children about these issues if as you say, you do question the morality of it.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Tue 30-Aug-11 15:55:20

Has he tried to make his point in other ways and not been heard? Why if he is so against is he being forced to go again?

Ephiny Tue 30-Aug-11 15:56:18

He probably should have warned you what it was before showing you. I don't disagree with him in principle though. And YABU to give in to your children's demands and be unable to say no to them, if you feel these places are morally questionable.

Pinot Tue 30-Aug-11 15:57:25


FigsAndWine Tue 30-Aug-11 15:58:32

It sounds as if your DP has tried several times to get you to understand that he thinks these places are morally wrong, and doesn't want to go there (or have his children growing up thinking it's ok for these places to exist for their entertainment, by the sounds of it). You have been ignoring his wishes, so he tried a shock tactic in an attempt to get through to you.

I think you are being YABU to feel that it's morally dubious, yet say you'll go 'for the kids' - shouldn't you be teaching them that it's wrong, if that's what you and DP feel?

I don't think that your DP was hugely unreasonable; harsh yes, but if it made you think then maybe it's done some good?

FigsAndWine Tue 30-Aug-11 16:01:52

"Is Dolphin Cove any kinder?"

I can't see how any place could be called 'kind', that keeps in tiny pens intelligent creatures that have evolved to swim for thousands of miles and live a social lifestyle. hmm

My ex-DP wanted to take DD to one of these places, and I made very plain to both of them what I felt about it.

SouthernFriedTofu Tue 30-Aug-11 16:05:55

The Cove is a documentary, and a very good one. And was an Acadamy Award nominee 2009. It can make for harsh viewing but is worth seeing before you make a choice regarding any sea park including dolphin cove.

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