to seriously fucking HATE my mil!!!!

[lollipoppet]

Perhaps hate is a strong word.... she irritates me to a point where I think I would like nothing more to just punch her square in the face.

History in a nutshell: she left dp with his dad when he was three never to be seen again until dp at the age of 15 found her (had a shit, shit time with his dad)- all this has affected dp a lot! anyway, when I was pregnant, they fell out over somthing daft which resulted in her not seeing her grandchild until she was 6 months old and after I called her and persuaded her to talk to us again!

anyway, she is sssooooooo selfish and selfcentred it is unbelievable! she knows everything there is to know about everything, has done it all and got the t-shirt. she doesn't want to talk about anything other than herself. she sulked yesterday and spent an hour not talking to anyone and messing on het phone because dd was getting all the attention (dd is 11 months, she is 50 ffs)

anyway, this is basically a rant to just get everything off my chest I'm so fecking wound up (excuse any spelling mistakes please!)

oh and she'll be back in a few weeks for dd's birthday and I really really wish she wouldn't come! is that really awful?

[jasminerice]

She sounds like an unfit mother and mil. Walk away and help your DH find a good counsellor to support him in coming to terms with the fact he did not have the parents he needed and deserved as a child.

[Kayano]

Really helpful everlong

Your mil sounds awful. Why bother? If you fall out again just don't bother making the effort you did last time. Let her sulk in her hovel.

Can't believe that first reply!

[worraliberty]

She sounds horrible OP

But she doesn't sound as though she's going to change if she's been like that all her life.

I suppose the truth is, if you want her in your life (or if your DP does) then it sounds like you'll have to put up with her

[Soupqueen]

If you had read on ever long you may have amended your view.

YANBU but you'll not change her so you need to figure out a way to not let it wind you UP.

[jasminerice]

Ignore small minded people like everlong.

[ComeWhineWithMe]

Not nice Everlong.

Let her sulk it sounds as though she is wanting the attention and the worst thing you could do is give it to her.

[jasminerice]

Maybe everlong is your mil?

[SinicalSal]

Alright Everlong, she's just venting! You ever need that?

she sounds horrible and selfish lollipoppet, but rise above it is my advice. Your relationship is new so set it on your terms. Don't pander and remain polite. She will learn, and if she doesn't, your DD will (learn how to deal with people like this).

[lollipoppet]

Me neither Kayano! Maybe it's her! Ha.

I certainly won't be if it happens again! Just finding it so hard to put up with her, I feel drained. She's trying to be best friends with dp and agree with everything he says and tries to illustrate how she knows him soooooo much better than I do (she doesn't)
Ahhh!

[Animation]

OP - you're understandably angry and frustrated.

She sounds narcissistic and damaging. Counselling might be a good idea for DP. In the meantime try and keep your distance from her - she's not healthy to be around.

[ChippingIn]

She sounds awful... I bet you are really regretting getting in touch again and encouraging her to be a part of your family :(

How is your DH feeling about it all?

Frankly, I'd tell her she's not welcome until she changes her attitude.

[ohanotherone]

I feel like that too, often, at least my MIL lives a long way away.

My MIL is different, she always 'cared' for my DH but never ever hugged him once , and neglected him emotionally, favouring her oldest son openly, still does. Now it's all issues, tension and passive aggressive behaviour. So tiring when you have children. I can't be bothered with her. I don't invite her to birthdays and not often for christmas either, she would just bring everyone down. DH supports this as he feels the same, how does your DH feel???

[GypsyMoth]

Kind of agree with everlong here..... Not nice things to be thinking about ANYONE!!

[joben]

presumably everlong, you'd welcome a mother in law who had screwed up your DH's life (and continues to do so) with open arms.

Sorry OP, she sounds like a nightmare, I agree with other posters, have as little to do with her as you can!

[Kayano]

It's mumsnet AIBU, a place we can all come to rant. So surely you can say 'I think YABU rather than I think you sound vile?'

ESP when clearly the ops mil is the vile
One here

[Animation]

Everlong - the OP is just venting.

[ledkr]

everlong why can the op not say what she said about someone in her life, who has behaved badly and hurt people she loves,but you can call a complete stranger vile? Eh?

[ConstanceNoring]

Everlong you also have the right to respond like a twat

[prettyfly1]

Yeah you do have a right to disagree but to attack so thoroughly and personally everlong leads me to question whom you should be thinking "vile" about.

OP she sounds horrible and her hurting your dp, someone you love, is exactly why it is so normal that you feel so strongly against her. Do you think you and your dp need to have a talk about whether or not its a good time to walk away from her? It cant be good for you and he to be experiencing this.