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Re. evicting other people's children from my house....

(32 Posts)
RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 17:49:53

after they've been here ALL DAY playing with my DCs.

I just told them it was time to go home, got their shoes, showed them the door (in the nicest possible way) and said their parents were probably wondering where they were - byeeeee!

DH thinks this is a bit rude, and I should have offered for them to stay for tea, or waited for a while to see if they suggested leaving themselves. He thinks they will probably go home and tell their parents I rudely kicked them out. I think that seeing as I haven't seen any of their parents for HOURS, I am not BU to send them home! Also, if I give them tea with my DCs then their parents might not be happy with that (they may have their own dinner planned).

Btw, this was not any kind of pre-arranged playdate, this was an impromptu thing as a result of bad weather when they were all playing out (they are aged between 5 and 7).

So AIBU thinking that normal visitor courtesy doesn't apply to children? grin

Ragwort Fri 26-Aug-11 17:52:03

Wow, you are not at all rude - how kind of you to have children around all day. My husband would be seething under his breath so you obviously have a very nice DH grin.

I often say to 'casual' friends of DS - 'time to go home now' - hadn't even given it a thought that it might be rude.

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Aug-11 17:53:15

shock waited for them to suggest leaving??? Has he met children? They might just move in if you did that.

I invite them for dinner if I feel like it, but they have to go ask tehir mother/dinner cook first - otherwise I tell them it's time to go home when I've had enough.

Dillydaydreaming Fri 26-Aug-11 17:53:48

Gosh no YANBU. I can get the whole street in sometimes (feels like it anyway). After several hours and lots of noise I do politely request that they go home now. Generally they go without too much fuss but sometimes there's a straggler or two grin

I tend to he nice. I never give them tea unless I've okayed it with a parent first.

Theala Fri 26-Aug-11 17:54:31

Definitely not rude. Normal politeness rules don't apply to children, as they're generally incapable of picking up on normal social cues. smile

worraliberty Fri 26-Aug-11 17:54:47

Did you check with their parents that it was ok for them to play in your house?

YANBU it's not rude to ask them to leave when you want them to.

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 17:55:04

I wasn't really being kind as such, DD is only 5 so would rather they came here than she went to theirs. DH is quite polite, but to be fair I have been 'supervising' them for most of the day (albeit from a distance) whilst he has got on with DIY. I was desparate for some quiet and tidiness tbh!

kevlarbrassiere Fri 26-Aug-11 17:55:24

Children aged 5 and 7? And no one came to see where they were?

Surely their parents must have known where they were, I'd be frantic with worry if mine were out of sight for so long!

A couple of hours on a bad weather day is ok with me, otherwise they can all go and play outdoors.

Making them tea too!!! I don't think so. It'll probably end up in a sleepover.

Lunabelly Fri 26-Aug-11 17:56:20

YANBU. YANBU at all.

I often find myself the unofficial yoof centre and it pees me off quite often. Nothing against the kids, but I like my privacy and quiet, and often find things get trashed due to showing off youthful exhuberance. Plus I invairably end up feeding them and sleepovers are far to common lately.

Some of these kids are out for hours and I find myself ranting at DH that "I could be fecking Rose West for all their parents know, ffs"

So nope, YANBU. IMO.

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 17:57:31

Worra - I did wonder about checking with their parents, but they all piled in and said it was fine (and it obviously was as noone came looking for them!). Tbh I cba to go knocking on neighbours doors in the torrential rain!

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 17:58:54

They were playing in my garden first, so guess the parents presumed they were here. Noone checked though shock which I did think was bizarre.

worraliberty Fri 26-Aug-11 17:59:02

I definitely would have knocked on the door..rain or not.

5yrs is a very young age to take their word for it that it's ok with their parents.

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Aug-11 17:59:25

oh, I'd have made them tell their parent where they were before letting them in

Fimbo Fri 26-Aug-11 17:59:33

God no. I got into a vicious circle of this a couple of years ago with a neighbours children. They were in my house most nights and practically all holidays. We event went away one October holiday to avoid it. It all sort of came to a head after I got pissed off about it once too often and the neighbour no longer speaks to me.

create Fri 26-Aug-11 18:01:09

Not rude, necessary!

I often seem to have a houseful (why are they always here?) I never offer food other than fruit/ a biscuit unless it's pre-arranged. I would assume they will have a meal waiting for them at home. I just tell them it's time to go and although the random children I seem to get are slightly older (9-10) there's never an issue with it, they just go smile.

Depending on who they are I might get DS1 to walk home with them, so I can wash my hands of them know they've got there and I always ask them if mum knows where they are when they arrive.

lachesis Fri 26-Aug-11 18:01:41

Was he going to cook the tea and plate it up?


Generallycloudy Fri 26-Aug-11 18:02:59

No way were you rude to ask them to leave - I bet their parents were delighted you have the patience of a saint and entertained their children all day!!

Also, as others have said I would never offer tea at that age unless it was o.k'd by the parent.

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 18:04:24

Children were 6 and 7 (my DD is 5). I did wonder about speaking to neighbours, but am new to the whole 'playing out' thing (cos DD has only just started to), and thought maybe I was being a bit neurotic! kids do seem a bit feral round here grin.
Kept windows wide open and lingered within earshot just in case parents came a-calling. They didn't.

Twosugarsplease Fri 26-Aug-11 18:05:42

Hello redhotpokers, I'm with you on this, my house is like a youth club, sometimes it's ok, as it means they are occupied and not moping around, it just always seems to be our house though! I also have a 2 yo so come nap time bed time rules are no friends. My sd friends don't have younger siblings yet they are not allowed in their houses as much I have their dc's here ! I best stop or I'll rant an essay lol. I get asked every night can x sleep, can they have tea ??? I do have to say though after an hour or two 'outside and play ' that it's a lovely day etc, if it's raining I think they should take turns, if other parents aren't as willing I would keep them in.

worraliberty Fri 26-Aug-11 18:08:45

I suppose you have to look at it like this.

If you'd gone out there today and couldn't find your daughter anywhere, I'm sure you'd be livid if you found her in someone else's house.

Not just livid with her but probably more so with the parents for not asking you?

I know you meant well though smile

tabulahrasa Fri 26-Aug-11 18:09:15

I wouldn't go and speak to them, just tell the child to 'go and tell your mum where you are' before letting them inside

Twosugarsplease Fri 26-Aug-11 18:09:27

Lunabelly..... I lol at your message, it's true though.....your dead right !

Popbiscuit Fri 26-Aug-11 18:10:16

YADDDDNBU. Some of my neighbours are under the mistaken impression that I am running a charitable summer camp from my home <doormat emoticon>. I have to kick them out at mealtimes etc. but then feel obliged to see them safely home. Grrr....

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 18:13:21

Yes, I did mean well Worra smile!

They both promised me they had told their parents they were over our house (albeit in the garden initially). However, if I hadn't been able to find my DD I would have called out for her in the street (as most parents here do). If the parents had done that today, I would have heard them (windows wide open) and gone out to explain.

RedHotPokers Fri 26-Aug-11 18:15:00

Oh and DH took them home (with umbrella as they had no coats), but didn't speak to parents - left them at their gardens to run in.

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