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To say no to my nearly 14yr old having her belly button pierced?

(28 Posts)
mrsshears Thu 25-Aug-11 17:28:55

DD has said that she would like this done,besides the fact i think it looks awful,which really does not factor anymore as dd is getting older and lots of the things she likes make me go hmm but i accept this as thats dd's choice as long as its not something completely inapropriate i wouldnt intervene.
However i just feel with this its just that bit too much,what do you think?

attheendoftheday Thu 25-Aug-11 17:33:20

I would agree with you. When she's 18 she can do it without your permission so can do it then if she's still keen. She could always get a fake piercing, I've seen some clip on and some stick on ones.

But my dd is still young so I'm not talking from experience.

Newmummytobe79 Thu 25-Aug-11 17:34:16

I might be wrong here but I think you have to be 16 (I had mine done MANY moons ago so things may have changed since then!).

Or show her a manky image from Google images - it might not go green (like mine did!) and antibiotics cured it ... but it might put her off a little longer! smile

Nailitorelse Thu 25-Aug-11 17:34:58

Is she "trying it on" to see if she can wind you up or shock you?
You might find a reply along the lines of "what a great idea. what sort of stud did you have in mind?" might surprise her so much that she didn't get the reaction she was expecting, that she might drop the whole idea.....and then again she might not!
I guess it depends whether she is doing it to be rebellious, or if she really does want it done!

mosschops30 Thu 25-Aug-11 17:36:05

You can say no, but if shes anything like i was as a teenager she may just get it done anyway ( i had a tatoo at 16)
Tbh i wouldnt want my dd doing it either but its nit the worst thing she could be doing, pick your battles wisely

NorfolkBroad Thu 25-Aug-11 17:36:19

YANBU I used to run a youth group and spent umpteen hours dressing and sorting out teenagers belly button piercings that had gone all septic! Sorry, that maybe too much info but it was a constant problem!

RevoltingPeasant Thu 25-Aug-11 17:36:44

I think you can't have it done till 16. I had my eyebrow done then and had to provide ID (learner driver's license). That was in the US but I'm pretty sure friends over here said it was the same.

Fatshionista Thu 25-Aug-11 17:39:00

YANBU but I would let her. If she's old enough to clean it and take care of it then I don't see why not. If she doesn't like it she can take it out and it'll leave a very small scar. If she'd adament she'll have it done anyway or worse, do it herself.

I have piercings and tattoos and my parents said no. Spurred me on to do it and at 16 I'm pierced my own lip sad

CognitiveDissident Thu 25-Aug-11 17:44:50

Navel piercings can be quite tricky to heal (6+ months for the fistula to fully form). Incorrect placement or jewellery can lead to migration of the piercing, leaving a noticeable scar.

Any decent piercing studio will not pierce (except for ears) children under 16, even with the parents permission. If the studio is offering body piercing to minors, then the quality of the jewellery, sterilization and piercer will all be questionable.

I'd advise her to wait, and this is coming from someone with lots of metal in then, including a large gague navelpiercing.

CognitiveDissident Thu 25-Aug-11 17:59:53

I had my navel pierced back in the early '90's at the decidedly skanky local tattooists. It swelled and oozed for over a year<nice>

I re-did the piercing myself last year, using a larger needle, correct placement and decent Titanium jewellery. No swelling or infection, and fully healed in a couple of months.

If your daughter has her heart set on this, then ask her to wait til 16, and get it done at a good place (research online). Expect to pay £40+.

CatFlaps Thu 25-Aug-11 18:01:23

You can get it done legally at 14.

AnyFucker Thu 25-Aug-11 18:03:00

She is too young

You don't have to say yes, you know

And if she went ahead anyway, I would employ serious punishment

I do wonder why some people just shrug their shoulders and give teenagers everything they want, just because they make a fuss about it

Panzee Thu 25-Aug-11 18:03:21

Send her round mine. I'll show her the lovely shape and colour mine's gone after having my son. grin

Seriously though, I took mine out after a couple of months after having it done when I was 17. I am twice that age now and the scar never faded.

NoWuckingFurries Thu 25-Aug-11 18:04:32

I had my bellybutton pierced for my 14th birthday. I was totally shocked that my mum agreed but was then grin. I was mature (or as mature as you can be at 14!) and got it done in a place recommended to me and cleaned it religiously. It depends on your DD but you are totally NBU to say no if that's how you feel. Tbh I didn't even think belly piercings were cool any more!

PrincessJenga Thu 25-Aug-11 18:10:35

I wanted mine done when I was 14. My mum point blank refused (probably the only time she was really strict with me) and told me that if I did it I would not be allowed to live under her roof. She still checks my tummy from time to time (and I'm now 32!)

I was furious at the time, but now realise she was absolutely right. They look dreadful on most people.

mrsshears Thu 25-Aug-11 18:11:48

Thanks for your replies

I had a chat with dd about it and gave her some of your responses,i have told dd to think very carefully about it and if she still feels the same way this time next year then she can have it done.
dd seems happy with this,i think she was a little put off by the sound of the clampgrin

PonceyMcPonce Thu 25-Aug-11 18:16:13

I had mine done so long ago, it was a bit alternative and fetishy - I was terrified (but was a bet - soooo mature).

It hurt like buggery - apparantly I have very tough skin. It took over a year to heal properly. It caught on every damn thing I wore.

But if it gives you leverage with regard to study, not doing something worse, or achieving an agreed number of gcses grin, I would use it ruthlessly as the scar is tiny. Miles better than tongue and eyebrown piercings.

fwiw half the girls who came to collect their results from me today had their tongues pierced during the hols. Mostly they still cannot speak properly - arf

Lambethlil Thu 25-Aug-11 18:19:07

I have the same predicament, but with DD13.
I've said no, mainly for squeamish/ snobby reasons.
Heartened to hear that it's hard to get legally done under 16 though!

exoticfruits Thu 25-Aug-11 18:21:12

You are the parent-say 'no'-she can do what she likes- but will have to wait 4 yrs. (by which time she may have gone off the idea)

AnyFucker Thu 25-Aug-11 18:25:44

my dd mithered for this at 13...I said no

now she is almost 16, she has lost interest entirely

ThePosieParker Thu 25-Aug-11 18:28:01

In the interests of style and good taste, you must say no!grin

mrsshears Thu 25-Aug-11 18:36:54

Yes that was my feeling too posie

exotic do you have teens? i'm aware i'm the parent but in my experience discussion is the way to go with teens,if i dont talk this through with dd and just say no i will only make it all the more appealing,whereas if we do talk about it and reason then dd is more likely to see the bigger picture ime.

SiamoFottuti Thu 25-Aug-11 18:42:27

She's 13, of course you aren't going to take her to get a piece of metal jammed into her flesh.

Can't believe anyone would have to ask, to be honest, what next "should I take my 10 year old to get their face tattooed"?

FabbyChic Thu 25-Aug-11 18:43:49

They are chavy. Totally cheap and tacky looking.

krustyloaf Thu 25-Aug-11 19:00:23

I did it, I was 13 (nearly 14) and wanted it done and my mum let me. It was infected almost continuously for the year I had it in and never healed properly, so took it out in the end. 10 years on I still have the little scars and during my pregnancy the scar stretched and now looks awful! I know she won't listen but don't give in and if she looks grown up for her age check her stomach regularly - so many girls in my year at school managed to get it done without permission and some even pierced it themselves.. confused

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