To dread going into work tomorrow, and every day after that...(43 Posts)
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I felt much like this at times in my career. I'm guessing what you do from the facts you've given and the fact you've clearly just recently started say on the first Wednesday in august?? If I'm right pm me for support. Either way - It will get better.
First jobs can be like that but not all. I remember getting really, really stressed when I started my job, taking it home with me, worrying etc but my job was pretty stressful and took some getting used to.
What career have you chosen? You might just be settling in?
Awwwww, is it as bad as all that? Can you find another job? manage without a job for a while? retrain? there are options, but it depends what will work for you. Why are you struggling? do you hate the people, find the work harder than you thought, have you dropped an almighty clanger and don't know how to fix things? Is the reality of the practical application of all your studies not how you imagined it would be?
I shalll stop firing questions at you now, got carried away a bit there I have lots of pieces of paper that imply I can "do stuff" and all they really prove is that I can pass exams - I never managed to actually get a proper job and use any of them, so you're ahead of me already if that's any small consolation!
I'm guessing Medicine?
You wouldn't be alone in feeling like this if it is medicine - I knew lots of newly qualified medics who were overwhelmed until they found their feet.
It will improve, but it's the life-or-death nature of it that's getting to you I suspect.
Is there a mentor you can chat to?
What is the job? I am a vet, and my first year in practice was immensely stressful, I worried about everything and cried a lot
What you describe is certainly how my first job was for me, rightly or wrongly. It does get easier, but only with experience. Thing is, you get comfortable, then decide you need to challenge yourself again and put yourself right back into the stress zone
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
It does get better, I promise you. Try not to let this incredibly stressful time put you off a career you dreamt of.
In my first few weeks I felt like I was drowning. I still remember how utterly clueless I felt when asked to rewrite a script for insulin for the first time, and the relief when the staff nurse (a kindly soul) talked me through it. I found on calls harrowing, especially when I knew there were a couple of really sick patients on my watch. I found the hours draining and the list of unfinished tasks, to my despair, was endless. But the thing is, there is help and you can't be afraid to ask for it. Lean on people, your seniors, the nurses, the dieticians, the pharmacists- everyone. They expect it and will think no less of you for it. Everyone knows how incredibly bright and hardworking you have to be to get to where you have, but clinical experience only comes with experience. It requires a whole different skill set which you will develop, but you will need help along the way. Ask, ask, ask.
9 years on and I tell you, it is the greatest career in the world.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hang on in there!
I'm sure you feel like you're spinning plates at the moment and don't know a thing. But you do. But being a high flying student means you have a good knowledge base but its only doing the job which will teach you how to prioritise and manage your workload. Trust yourself. You know more than you realise.
And utilise all other staff members. You are not expected to know everything and they will give you support and guidance how to do things.
It will get better.
Medicine, law, related industries - yes, it's always like that. Horrible. I was incredibly lucky; I secured my first job via a friend's recommendation, and he was assigned to be my immediate supervisor, and he's a lovely, kind, man who liked teaching people. So I always felt comfortable asking questions and taking his time up.
Two years later I changed jobs and realised what it was like for most people. It really is. Please do talk to someone senior, they really have all been there and it's better to talk about it now and get help if you need it then to let yourself get depressed.
EverythingInMiniature I remember feeling very much the same way when I started work. I felt like I was only just keeping my head above water and that everything was about to collapse around me because I didn't know as much as everyone thought I did.
You are good enough for the job. You are not lacking in ability, only in self confidence. Things will get better. You're not meant to know everything yet. Your seniors are there to support and help you.
I am not a medic - but for a professional being shit scared anxious about your job performance is part of what will make you good at it in the long run. Trust me, I've worried about my job for 15 years and did much better at it than anyone expected!
That said, I bet half the blokes aren't lying awake at night terrified. I know in my area most of the male professionals I know have a more laisse faire attitude, and it seems to help keep them sane. Try and see if you can adopt a little of their attitude.
"I think since I have started I have realised how much I don't know and how there often is no right answer."
Personally I think that, in your chosen field, this bodes very well for your future and the future of your patients. It's when you think you know everything that they will have cause to worry.
If you can hold onto that realisation, with the job becoming less scary as you find your feet, you'll be a good doctor.
Hi I'm just echoing what people have already said really. Don't feel afraid to ask for help and lean on your colleagues. It is tough at first but it will get better.
Definitely ask the experienced nurses if your senior is busy, there is obviously a limit to what they can do but they can help you with most things. The nurses generally now what needs to be done in most cases and know how the consultants like things doing.
Go in there with a smile on your face and try your best. people should recognise that you need a lot of support until you settle in.
I'm a nurse by the way
Buggering iPhone! Sorry.
I worry more about the juniors who don't realise how much they don't know when they first start the job. It's a hell of a change from shadowing someone to being the person carrying the bleep and being faced with god knows what at 4am. For what it's worth, I was terrified of talking to someone registrar grade or above when I started because they were bound to ask me about the one vital obvious fact that I was completely unaware of.
Assuming it is medicine (it certainly reminds me of my state of mind when I started) - the good news is, it does get better. You really do learn on the job, but you have to trust your good ward nurses (and sorry BabySade, but some of them love to see juniors squirm in helplessness - most are lovely and get you through the first few weeks but some are vicious) and call your seniors for help. Slowly you recognise the patterns and by the end of the first year you will be far higher up the learning curve. It's a shit few weeks though.
If it's impacting your mental health and your ability to sleep then it becomes a downward spiral / positive feedback loop and it gets much harder to break.
PM me if you want someone to talk to at odd hours (I'm in NZ so likely to be awake when you are!) and if you haven't already, head over to doctors.net.uk and post a thread on The Couch. There are a lot of senior doctors there who have been there, done that and are ready with the Tshirts and some solid advice.
Miniature, please don't be scared to tell your colleagues how overwhelmed you're feeling. Make the nurses your friend. I don't mean make us cakes (tho that would be nice!) but by asking for advice and taking it. As a senior staff nurse it makes my job much easier if I know you're feeling scared rather than unapproachable. Try and remember that most nurses have worked in that speciality for years and are a fount of knowledge. And remember that what they see as a priority may be different from yours, but they are the ones providing the treatment you prescribe.
Speak to your F2s, they'll still remember exactly how you're feeling.
But most important - take care of yourself, otherwise you can't take care of your patients.
You'll be fine, I promise
You can do this, OP. You've worked so hard for it and you have the necessary talent, aptitude and qualifications for it. We know this because if you didn't, you wouldn't have been appointed to your job.
If you've only just started it then I can imagine it's a massive shock to your system after long periods of study. It's also possible that such extended periods lulled you into a false sense of life, routines, support mechanisms and friends around you.
As other posters have suggested, talk to your colleagues. I don't imagine you'll be the first or the last to feel the awesome responsibility but you are not on your own, you'll have mentors and guides available to you and you'll build your own support network.
If you chucked in the job, you'd regret it forever. You are strong enough, tough enough to see this through and the worst is always at the start when you know less about the actual job. It will become more and more familiar to you as each day passes.
You must get proper sleep though... there's nothing like sleep depriation to give anybody the heebie jeebies and a skewed sense of not being good enough. You ARE good enough. Hope you have a great day today.
No expert in your field of work, but I think if you can get through all those years of study you've shown you have a LOT of resilience and intelligence to make a success of your career too. The change of pace and the responsibility must feel overwhelming after the academic environment which must have become very familiar and comforting.
If you are struggling with particular elements of the job then maybe articulate them, write them down, talk to a counsellor or friend - what would you tell someone else who had these feelings? If these sorts of things are going to be part of the job permanently then it would make sense to have a coping strategy in the bag, even if I am sure you will get used to things in time. I'd recommend you don't start smoking or drinking as I did during a stressful time and it took a decade to find a better strategy ...
I do remember when I started my very very boring admin job following my degree, having that sense of OH CRAP this is my life forever but for slightly different reasons!
Hope today is a better day for you.
Speaking as an 'end user' of the medical profession, I would far rather be treated by someone who knew they didn't know something (and asked) than someone who thought they knew something but didn't (and didn't ask). And in every profession there's a point where you realise that despite all the study you actually don't know very much yet - it's a well documented part of the learning curve and means you're actually thinking about what you're doing, and that's a good thing.
I can not belive how supportive people are on here
I ve just recently posted on a post with a similar title, some on there are just well, vile IMO.
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