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AIBU?

To have said no to the girl wanting to ride DS1 bike?

43 replies

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:34

Took DS1 (3.10) and DS2 to the park today, DS1 rode his bike and left it 'parked up' to the fence alongside the edge of the park.

As we were leaving, spotted a little girl sat on DS1 bike. Her mum was alongside talking to her, getting herself onto her own bike. As we approached, the girl said "is this your bike?" to DS1 and he said yes. She said "can I ride it?" and I said "actually, we are just leaving and I think DS would like to ride it I'm afraid". Her mum just sort of stood staring at me, making no attempt to encourage her DD off the bike and obviously wanting me to let her go on it.

I know this isn't a major thing by any stretch, but was IBU to have said no? I sort of think that it's property and if my DS got on a bike outside a park, I'd have told him to get off it. If it had been the situation that the girls mum had been saying 'come on, get off the bike, it isn't yours', I probably would have said 'it's okay, have a few minutes on it if you like'. But the fact that the mum so obviously expected me to let her DD on it made me dig my heels in a bit.

So AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

GypsyMoth · 24/08/2011 20:36

Clearly not

But is it really such a big issue to post a thread about?

fifitot · 24/08/2011 20:36

No don't think so. If you were going, well you were going. It's a bit cheeky of the mum to let her DD get on the bike. How old was she? (The child that is.)

I think she'll get over it.

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:38

It's not a big deal in the slightest, just by the mums reaction, made me think that maybe I was BU. Curious really, but I know in the scheme of things, it's tiny.

OP posts:

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 24/08/2011 20:40

Do you think she wanted a ride or you caught them trying to make off with it?

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:41

I think she wanted to ride it, I didn't get the impression that they were going to take it.

OP posts:

fluffles · 24/08/2011 20:44

i think she was totally fine to ask you, and you were totally find to say no as it wasn't convenient..

but if you were playing on the swings or something and not using it then it would have been nice to let her have a shot.

YellowDinosaur · 24/08/2011 20:44

YANBU and I never let my boys ride on other childrens bikes in this situation. If the person who it belonged to came over and said they could have a go thats fine but they would never have been allowed to get onto it in this situation.

By the way is you nickname because of the fantastic kidsleep sheep clock?

YellowDinosaur · 24/08/2011 20:45

ANd if another child wanted to try my boys bikes and they weren't using them I'd always say yes. But you were leaving so clearly needed it - the other mum was unreasonable to not ask her dd to get off at that point

warthog · 24/08/2011 20:46

yanbu

i would have reacted the same. it's because the mum expected you to let her use it.

i hate this massive sense of over-entitlement that half the planet seems to have.

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:47

Yellowdinosaur, no my name isn't because of the clock. Used to be likessleep, but another poster mis-read it as me having a particular sheep fetish, so I changed it. It was funny at the time, but reading it back it doesn't read as funny now.

OP posts:

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 24/08/2011 20:48

YANBU

I would guess maybe the mum reacted like that because she is used to her DD having tantrums and didn't want to be the cause of a fuss.

thisisyesterday · 24/08/2011 20:49

the mum might not have been expecting you to say she could use it

I've just realised from this post that people may think I am really rude!

If my kids speak to an adult, asking if they can have something/use something/whatever... then I let the adult speak to them without interrupting,.
cos, turns out my kids are people to and are able to ask questions and be answered without my butting in.

maybe I shouldn't do that.

usualsuspect · 24/08/2011 20:49

FFs .sense of entitlement?

YellowDinosaur · 24/08/2011 20:50

Oh well! Said clock iis a lifesaver in our house which is why your name reminded me of it

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:50

totally warthog - that's exactly where i'm coming from. the fact that she wasn't encouraging her daughter to get off the bike riled me, and there was a big silence and expectant look when her daughter asked.

i've stupidly posted ds's name by mistake, so i've asked for this thread to be removed. hopefully mnhq will. never done that before. brain in gear.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 24/08/2011 20:50

" Her mum was alongside talking to her, getting herself onto her own bike"

is it possible that she was telling her to get off? or that she should ask instead of just getting onto a bike?

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:53

she wasn't telling her dd to get off no, as i could hear their conversation.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 24/08/2011 20:54

oh ok.

well i am in a minority, i can see, but i still think it was no big deal to allow the girl to ask and for you to reply to her.

did she then get off the bike?

if so i don't really see the problem

usualsuspect · 24/08/2011 20:56

Its not a big deal ,honestly OP , its not

No one nicked the bike ,the little girl just wanted a go on it

sheeplikessleep · 24/08/2011 20:56

thisis - if her dd was stood by the bike and she asked me, then i would have probably have delayed our leaving by a few minutes and said yeah have a go. it was the fact she was already on it, with the mum seemingly thinking it's fine for her dd to just get on another childs bike. but anyway, it isn't a big deal, i just wondered really.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 24/08/2011 21:25

all i';m saying is that some parents like their child to be given the opportunity to deal with a situation themselves.

i think the majority of parents would have said to get off the bike, and maybe the mum had already said that and you hadn't heard. or maybe she didn't.
regardless, all she did was sit on the bike and her mother allowed her to ask you if she could ride it,.
that doesn't necessarily mean that the mother thought she was entitled to, or should be on it.

Tiredmumno1 · 24/08/2011 21:47

She shouldnt have touched someone elses property in the first place without asking.

The mum should have told her to get off especially as you were leaving, ywnbu.

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Rhinestone · 24/08/2011 21:52

YANBU at all but then I don't understand why what we call 'theft' in the adult world is called 'sharing' in the child world.

If someone got in my car because they wanted a go I'd call the police.

pigletmania · 24/08/2011 22:09

Oh dear my dd 4.5 (dev delay and autistic traits) does this, if she likes the look of a bike or scooter in a park she will gravitate towards it, either try to ride it, or look at it spinning its wheels. I get so , and apologise to the person who's dc bike it is and get dd off it and to realise that she cannot use things that are not hers. I have never encountered any negative behaviour from parents which is good.

pigletmania · 24/08/2011 22:11

I suppose Rhinestone its a bit different, its not like with like, they are children and don't always realise, especially if they are young or have SN, allowances have to be made, but the parent should make an effort to discourage their child away from the toy/bike etc that is not theirs.

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