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Is it normal for women in their 30s to act like stupid school girls on a night out?

(111 Posts)
MuckyBogStain Wed 24-Aug-11 17:26:55

I'm not a massive fan of nightclubs and heavy drinking at the best of times so usually avoid the work's nights outs. I did however agree to one a few months back and was left a little disalusioned by it to be honest and can't decide whether I'm justified in that or simply too old for my time!

Firstly before the night even begun it was determined that the sole purpose of the night was to get as drunk as possible by the end of it. I remember thinking this way when I was 16 and the thought is a little alien to me since I grew up!

Secondly I was shocked to see one of the women going around sticking her camera down everyone's tops to take a pic of their cleaverage (which would later end up on facebook). This is apparantly a tradition and everyone must have a boob picture taken hmm

Thirdly a few of the women seemed to morph into exotic dancers and started feeling each other up, spreading themselves across a pool table in rather luring poses and pole dancing around a beam for the benefit of the DJ.

And apart from this - the night seemed to turn into a free-for-all with regards to snogging random blokes despite the fact that their husbands would later be picking them up from outside the club!!

I thought maybe it was just an extreme night but I noticed on facebook photos from this weekend and it looks like a repeat of the night I went on. Boob pics, exotic dancing, pouting into the camera like a 13 year old school girl and random snogging.

I won't be going out with them again. Is it me?? am I too old before my time or is this just not normal for 30+ year old women, some of whom are married with kids and professional careers etc.

MuckyBogStain Wed 24-Aug-11 17:27:32

Please ignore my spelling of disillusioned.

OTheHugeRaveningWolef Wed 24-Aug-11 17:30:05

shock

I must be a boring old caah then. When I meet up with my equally thirtysomething female friends, we tend to go more for the bottle --or three- of nice wine and some charcuterie type night out.

<staid>

LadyThumb Wed 24-Aug-11 17:30:20

My friend and I were discussing this just yesterday because my Niece is in her 30s with 3 DCs and she acts like this all the time when out. My friend said her sister, late 30s 2DC, is just the same and goes out to get bladdered and piss about. This all then gets put on FB for the world to see.

I don't know, the youth of today, eh?

MuckyBogStain Wed 24-Aug-11 17:31:10

Me too! I noticed that another friend of mine on said night out left very early making the excuse that she was tired so I know it's not just me.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Wed 24-Aug-11 17:31:27

Eeew. Amongst my friends ( a bit older that 30s), getting drunk and talking a bit too loudly seems to be the norm on a night out, but no pouting or cleavage photography. I think immediately post-dcs we did tend to get a bit over-excited and not be able to take our drink.

But if you've never been the sort to pole dance, then I don't think you'll start in your 30s

I now drink very very little so prefer a nice meal out or coffee to a night in the pub. I find it odd when people our age are pissed

MuckyBogStain Wed 24-Aug-11 17:34:23

What gets me as well is that their main goal seems to be attracting the opposite sex. Do guys actually find this wild behaviour from women attractive?

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm not saying women should sit quietly in the corner of the bar acting like good little girls until we are blessed with the presence of a male but I don't know - you'd think a bit of "class" would attract the guys more than some women squeezed into a dress two sizes too small spread across the pool table!

Insomnia11 Wed 24-Aug-11 17:37:24

I don't know, some people's ideas of fun is different from others isn't it?

I don't see what age has to do with it though, my favourite night out when I was 16 would be going out for a meal with friends and that hasn't changed at 35. I also like dancing. So if you like larking about and being lary then that probably won't change either. As long as they aren't unduly annoying/inconveniencing other people or committing crimes I can't see the harm in it.

I think my nights out are pretty tame, but we did go absolutely bonkers with drink the first time my NCT friends went out - think it was the first night out minus babies. Nothing more than being a bit silly, the last ones in the pub and slightly ill the next day. Next time we were a bit more measured.

yosammitysam Wed 24-Aug-11 17:41:27

I love a good night out, and I admit I do have a tendency to drink far too much on occasion but all the boob/snogging stuff is way ott! I do love to let my hair down (with friends in 30's whove all got kids and husbands/partners) and I personally find I just need a break from all the being a grown up good parent stuff! So I don't always behave myself but its much more of a t
alking too loud and mybe dancing to Wham in an embarrasing way. Would never dream osf pole dancing snogging- yuck! They sound like they've taken it a bit too far- even I wouldnt want to go out with them!!!!

AnyFucker Wed 24-Aug-11 17:41:47

Not my idea of fun, either

Even worse though, are the "fancy dress" hen nights

I fucking hate those with a passion

Insomnia11 Wed 24-Aug-11 17:41:51

I don't know - you'd think a bit of "class" would attract the guys more than some women squeezed into a dress two sizes too small spread across the pool table!

Am I missing the point? Surely they aren't out to attract men but just out having a laugh. When I go out with my friends it's so lovely to see them I barely notice any men or indeed anyone else in the place, we're so busy catching up.

pictish Wed 24-Aug-11 17:44:29

To each their own OP - if it's not your thing, that's fine - it wouldn't be mine either....but it does sound like a letting down of the hair and having fun and there's nothing wrong with that.

TrompetteMilitaire Wed 24-Aug-11 17:46:43

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. It's not 'having fun': it's tacky, tarty, tasteless behaviour. I can think of nothing more repulsive. They all wear clothes that show off their flabby bits too.

<goes to lie down in darkened room>

keepingupwiththejoneses Wed 24-Aug-11 17:48:23

I am mid 30s and while I like a good drink and a night club on a girls night out, I would never behave like that. Sound like a gang of slappers!

iklboo Wed 24-Aug-11 17:52:26

This is precisely why I turn down invitations from some friends. Their FB statuses full if pics of them off their faces, flashing their bits etc. Call me boring but that's not my idea of a good night.

MumblingRagDoll Wed 24-Aug-11 17:53:34

All of my old friends do this....by old I mean school friends. We're all in our late 30s and I rarely see them excep the odd coffee. Their FBs are FULL of pics of them dressing up in weird clothing for a laugh, putting on makeup and going out...they all look rough as a sailors chin...baggy eyes and too much lipstick and massive boobs coming out of their maxi dresses.

Nightmare.

ohhappyday Wed 24-Aug-11 17:53:39

Great post - so grateful for it! I would never ever ever go on this type of night out - I cannot stand it I also hate hen nights etc - love going for coffee, theatre, concerts, meals etc. Constantly question myself on this and feel like a boring, frumpy old fart - so glad I am not alone

SquidgyBiscuits Wed 24-Aug-11 17:53:40

Each to their own. I think its more a chavvy thing than an age specific thing, though.

And if you're a bloke in a club after a quick jump, are you gonna go for the 'classy' lady or the one leaning over the pool table showing everyone what she had for dinner that evening. After 3, EASY, EASY, EASY...

pictish Wed 24-Aug-11 17:54:23

"*Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. It's not 'having fun': it's tacky, tarty, tasteless behaviour. I can think of nothing more repulsive. They all wear clothes that show off their flabby bits too*"

I can think of loads of things that are more repulsive. What an attitude!

Like I say - to each their own.

Insomnia11 Wed 24-Aug-11 17:55:09

DH still enjoys one too many after work sometimes - ok it's not dancing on the bar and performing The Full Monty (to my knowledge) but he has surely known since his teens that it's stupid to forget to eat, mix grape and grain and stay up really late chatting & smoking cigars and just about get the last train home when it's his turn to get up with the girls in the morning etc, but he still does it from time to time, but I think it's ok.

I guess if you don't like what your friends get up to you need a different circle of friends or to drink somehere else.

Insomnia11 Wed 24-Aug-11 18:01:25

Again if you don't like hen nights it's probably because you don't like the group of people you're out with. I can honestly say I've never been on a bad one. I've never been on one where there has been loads of lewd/anti-social behaviour though.

SuePurblybilt Wed 24-Aug-11 18:02:23

I have a group of friends who do this - late 30s, professional jobs, children, husbands - average. On a night out it's exactly as in the OP, drink, drugs, dry humping weaselly 20yos on the dance floor, falling over in kebab shops and it all goes on FB.

It baffles me so I don't go out with them. I go out with another group who drink wine, get shrieky and talk about knobs. I can manage that.

northernruth Wed 24-Aug-11 18:14:15

I like the sound of shrieking and talking about knobs, wine enabled of course.

But you know, it's up to them. You don't have to go. I like to drink too much corona, dance inappropriately and have the devil of a hangover after pissing DH off when getting in at 4 in the morning. I've always been like that. I hate that as I get older fewer and fewer of my mates want to do it with me. but I don't think they're boring - we just like different things. "i'm ok, You're ok" and all that.

wink

adamschic Wed 24-Aug-11 18:21:22

Make your excuses and don't go next time.

I have a few friends on fb in their 30's that still talk about going on the town with the girlies (don't kid yourselves).

Each to their own. I've led a wild life but was never one of those women although I have been on nights out with those kind. They are usually all mouth and no trousers, whereas it's the quiet ones who are the worse.

Men know this so enjoy having a laugh with the lairy ones.

aldiwhore Wed 24-Aug-11 18:21:48

I go out with different people at different times, and much as I love a 'rather nice evening' drinking a responsible amount of wine, I have to say I've also enjoyed one or two nights with 'trash'... (the women didn't look like trash when they invited me).... it was highly amusing, and much as I was slightly embarrassed for them, it was free entertainment. They were not sexy, and the 'men' they attracted were, erm, pondlife.

Nah, you're not getting old, or maybe you are, you just know what kind of night you like. I like to observe sometimes, but mostly I adore getting blathered in the privacy of a friend's home and cackling like a witch whilst discussing other trashier experiences... so going out with the 'kiss me quick' old birds is something that I consider research.

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