to be upset with easyjet cabin manager

[evitas]

We flew back yesterday. The flight departured at 8pm and my DS (18 months) was very tired. Of course he did exactly what we didn't want him to do, he screamed a lot (and yes he's very laud)!!! We were in row 5 or 6, and I decided to go to the front of the cabin (next to the toilet) to see if I could calm him down, and see if he would fall asleep. I could see the odd looks from the other passengers... but what else could I do?
Suddenly the cabin manager came and told us we could not be there because it was unfair for the other passengers. That it was disrespectful for the other passenger to listen to our baby screaming and that they had paid a ticket to have a quiet flight!! I was so upset! I told him that if he knew of any other way to calm my baby then we could have a go, because we were doing our best. He told me that if I was the mum I should know how to calm my baby :(
I got so upset that I burst into tears. All the other cabin members were very nice and kept apologising, they even gave me their seat in the rear of the plane. When finally (20 minutes later) Ds was asleep the cabin manager came and apologised and said that it had been a language barrier (English is not my native language) that I had not understood what he was telling me. That just made me feel even worse. I know it's annoying when children cry on board, but surly the cabin crew is used to this... I just thought that he was rude and not supportive at all.
Do you think I should send easyjet an email, complaining about him? Or AIBU?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Sorry for you, OP, we have all been there but what the hell was this cabin manager supposed to do? He will probably be on the receiving end of complaints from other passengers who had to listen to your screaming baby. :(

I can understand that you're upset but you also understand that other people were giving you 'looks', they knew there was nothing that they could do or say so they had to put up with it.

When we were kids (age 4 upwards as I remember), if one of us started to scream, my mum would clamp her hand over our mouths if she couldn't take us out. Not practical with a baby, I know, but that screeching sound is horrible.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I've not been on a flight with a baby but would it have been feasible to take it into the toilet whilst he was screaming?

[evitas]

I know he could not have done much... I guess I'm upset because I was doing my best to calm my DS and he told me it disrespectful for the other passenger... At least he could have been more sympathetic, no?

[eurochick]

He sounds very insensitive. It's unpleasant for everyone when there is a screaming baby on a flight but it happens. I cannot imagine complaining to the cabin crew about it. And frankly stressing the parent out is not going to help the baby calm down.

[imgonnaliveforever]

You should complain. What rubbish about other passengers paying for a quiet flight. It was easyjet, not business class!

[HeidiKat]

I wouldn't think the toilet was a good solution, Lying, every flight I've been on there has always been a constant queue to use it and I would rather listen to a crying baby than have to wait 20 minutes to go to the toilet until the child calms down.

[gaaagh]

There's obviously been some miscommunication here, which he tried to fix by with an apology to you after a short time out. I'm not saying you misunderstood, but I'd be very surprised if he was rude to you in front of other customers - I really, really would - flight crew have always been nothing but friendly even if they're not being particularly helpful in my experience. and I fly a lot, admittedly a lot more a few years ago, with a huge number of airlines. I actually found that the most annoying thing of all - a smiling face being nice but essentially telling you "not my problem if we've lost your luggage/mislaid your reservation/charged you wrong/whatver/and i'm not going to to anything about it, now move along please"

Personally I know you can't do anything about your children crying, but the guy would have been damned if he'd told you ways to calm your child (there would be a post in AIBU saying "how dare a cabin staff member tell me how i can calm my child") and now he's damned if he didn't.

I can also see that, jsut because you think moving away from your seat to the front is a "better" place to deal with them, it's not exactly fair on the poor passengers who are in the area you move to. Tough luck on the folk who are sitting next to your assigned seats, I'm afraid. You should have asked for the seat from the cabin crew, it was a much better place, and I'm glad they offered it.

But I'm afraid to say I think you are BU with regards to this one individual cabin crew member.

[ChippingIn]

Lying - you do have some strange ideas.

Evitas - yes you should write a letter and tell them how upset you were. You were doing your best to calm an upset baby/child - he should have simply said to the other passengers that he was sorry if they were being distrubed but everything was being done, that could be done, to calm the baby. Blaming the language barrier is yet again blaming you. He needs to take responsibility for acting like an arse. No-one likes to hear a baby crying, but as long as the parents aren't just ignoring it - then it's tough luck isn't it.

[evitas]

Lying it's funny yo've mention that, but I did exactly that. I looked myself in the toilet for a couple of minutes, but DS is a big too big now and toilets are really small.

[gaaagh]

"I would complain if someone had spoken to me that way, babies/toddlers cry, big surprise. "

Er, if the OP had specifically moved to another area of the plane to deal with her children, and passengers were complaining, the staff member would have to intervene at some point. Otherwise he'd be accused of ignoring their complaint by the other customers.

Honestly, I feel as though some people serving the public really are fucked whether they choose Option A or Option B - someone's always going to have a problem with it!

[ImeldaM]

I think if your 18mth old starts screaming on a flight you do the best you can to calm them. Other passengers just have to put up with it, they have not paid to get a 'quiet flight', they've paid to get a seat on a plane.

Very rude of cabin manager, I'd complain.

[evitas]

I think what I was trying to say, is not whether he did the right thing or not... is how he handled the situation. As a cabin manager I would expect him to have more skills and try to be more supportive. He could said something: is there anything we can do for your baby? or Poor baby, you're are tired. or why don't you walk him along the corridor?
And not that I should know how to calm my baby!

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

If I'd been the OP, that's what I would have thought of, get myself and baby away from the stress. It was stressful for OP.

OP... I know what you mean about the toilets, they're miniscule. Forgot about the queues though, I don't drink an hour before the flight because I don't want to end up on someone's lap whilst trying to get to the toilets.

The cabin manager was insensitive, he will probably never know what it's like to be the parent of a screaming child on a plane. He did apologise though. I wouldn't complain but if he hadn't apologised, then I probably would have.

Fly AirFrance next time if you can, OP, their toilets are nicer and there's never a queue.

[porcamiseria]

ah, we have all been there! Look (a) baby fell asleep (thanks fxxk) and (b) he apologies, put it down to experience

[evitas]

lying we fly a lot this was our 20th flight with DS! (KLM, Airfrance, british, iberia...) and we had been with easyjet before and no one was ever rude to us.

I think I'll send an email anyway. All the other crew members were lovely. And has a cabin manager I think he's suppose to know better on how to treat passengers.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I love AirFrance soooo much.. I've flown EasyJet once and will never fly them again, I'd rather walk.

Perhaps it's the horrible orange outfit that made your baby cry in the first place?

[Shanghaidiva]

FFS - what is wrong with people? Parent tries to calm screaming child down and they complain about the the noise and give parent the evil eye - mm, that should help. Cabin manager could have been more sympathetic to your predicament - imo, but not worth compalining as you will receive the usual platitudes in reponse.

[evitas]

lol
who knows!! Maybe you are right lying
Thanks for cheering me up!

[HorridCold]

Evitas, I absolutely feel for you and for that reason we've chosen not to take DD on a flight yet. We haven't needed to so we won't until she's a bit older (she's only 2 at the moment). My fear would be that she'd change from the quiet and chilled out child that she normally is, to become a wailing banshee and I would have no idea what to do to calm her!

But YANBU and I would also be VERY upset if a member of Cabin Crew (Manager or not) talked to me in that way. I wonder if they would have behaved differently if your DS had been sick as opposed to tired?

I can see that he needed to say something to you if he was receiving complaints, but there are more sensitive ways of doing it. Anyone (and especially someone who would have to deal with things like this on a regular basis) would have realised how stressed you would already be, no-one enjoys knowingly upsetting other passengers and receiving angry stares from them! I would have been more inclined (if I was him) to tell the other passengers to wind their necks in and have some empathy for the poor Mother who was clearly trying to do her best! Although I would say it very politely and with that fixed smile on my face that they all seem to have .

Definitely complain!

[milkmilklemonade]

Screaming babies and the stench of cabbage is what you pay for on those shit crap airlines. People do pay extra though for the extra legroom though so if you were taking one of those it would be fair enough. Just a few quid more and you can go with a proper airline. I hate and detest those shit crap carriers and would rather walk than go on one. I do complain in business when people stand at the front with their whining kids, I have paid an extra grand to not have to endure it.

[mycatthinksshesatiger]

was on Easyjet last week. There were 6 babies on the flight, 5 of whom cried and screamed at various points, one continuously.

It happens. No-one batted an eyelid. It's seems par for the course on most flights to hear babies crying - and on no-frills airlines everyone is more crammed together.

Sure, it may irritate some passengers but that's their problem! And if the staff can't handle it they shouldn't be cabin crew - how useful would that manager be in an emergency if he can't even deal politely with a baby in distress:(

[Catslikehats]

I feel for you OP. The cabin manager was rude, what on earth did he expect you to do in the circumstances?

And TBH passengers who are complaining about a screaming baby ought to be told very firmly that they are travelling on public transport and it is one of those things that they need to suck up.

I would email and say that accusing you of being disrespectful was unecessary and that reducing you to tears over something beyone your control did not help the situation.

I had a terrible experince with another airline when DS1 was 20mths - very tired, I'd asked on boarding if they could provided me with some milk (not warmed or anything fancy just milk I could pour into his sucky cup) 2hrs later DS was screaming, we were still waiting for milk and the seat belt sign was on so we just had to sit. Cabin manager told me to "shut your son up now". I too cried

[bibbitybobbityhat]

He came back and apologised so I think it would be churlish of you to lodge a formal complaint. Parents sometimes forget how intensely and deeply unpleasant the sound of screaming babies can be. You could even try and put yourself in his shoes and think for a minute how stressed he must have been.

[evitas]

oh Queen I'm so sorry. How rude of the cabin manager!
I think they are a bit out of touch with reality. I would think their training to be a cabin crew member would include these situations. I know they have to handle a lot of things, some passengers are very rude, but with a baby... definitely there should be more consideration for the parents and the child.