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To feel guilty for not working ft?

(11 Posts)
LaughingGiraffe Tue 23-Aug-11 23:32:00

Firstly I acknowledge that this thread has been inspired by another recent thread, sorry if this is bad form. I have always worked, ft, pt, nearly ft, sessional, you name it. I am a Social Worker, so I do find stress can be an issue for me. I find everything much easier to cope with when I am pt. I have 3 dc. 11, 8 and 4. I currently work 3 days a week and this works for me. However I currently find myself feeling guilty as I will have some child free time for two days a week. I was planning on catching up on housework, batch cooking and doing an OU course in this time. So am I being unreasonable? We can manage with my pt wage, but I worry about saving money for dc in the future, university etc.

rhondajean Tue 23-Aug-11 23:33:56

Not BU, and dont let anyone tell you you are, you do a worthwhile job and your hardly planning sitting around in your spare time.

And you arent putting yourself in financial difficulties, so stop worrying.

MissVerinder Tue 23-Aug-11 23:35:31

YANBU.

If you can manage, you can manage.

SinicalSal Tue 23-Aug-11 23:36:29

Don't be thinking of messing up something that works for you for the sake of appeasing other people. Suit yourself, nobody else cares beyond passing the odd remark.l

AnyFucker Tue 23-Aug-11 23:38:12

< ahem >

I work 2 and a half days a week

Both my dc are in senior school

I don't have one ounce of guilt

LaughingGiraffe Tue 23-Aug-11 23:51:38

Thanks for these comments. This is very helpful. We can manage financially, but I worry about dc coming out of further education, (if they chose to go that way) with huge debts. I hate debt and have always avoided it myself wherever I can. I also think that I should be working more to further 'my career'. I have been treading water for the past few years, but I am not the most ambitious woman in the world. I do realise I have just outlined a major issue for women. We all want want to develop and do our jobs well, but I am not really interested in promotion.

marriedinwhite Tue 23-Aug-11 23:52:41

I worked full time for 16 years before DC. Had 8 years at home as a SAHM. Worked part-time for 2 years and have been full time for the last 6 years. DC now 16 and 13. The hardest years of my life were when I worked part-time. Tried to be a professiona, tried to be the perfect mother, tried to be the perfect wife and didn't feel I could justify any paid help. I think part-time probably works best for all of you at present - in a year or two things might change and as the dc get bigger you will be able to push your own needs up the agenda. IMO happy mum = happy family whether your work f/t, p/t or not at all.

AnyFucker Tue 23-Aug-11 23:56:18

I am lucky though, that I work in a profession that does not penalise PT workers

I currently job-share a senior position

LaughingGiraffe Wed 24-Aug-11 00:37:13

I do think that the pressure I put on myself is the hardest to take. AnyFucker, my profession is largely female, but I do find a lot of new jobs are advertised ft. I guess I should just relax a bit, but I do find it hard. Your comments make a lot of sense marriedinwhite pt is quite hard, I constantly feel that I am doing a less than good job anywhere.....

AnyFucker Wed 24-Aug-11 00:41:38

You can apply for jobs advertised as FT and request PT

they are obliged to consider it (if you work in a recognised profession)

LaughingGiraffe Wed 24-Aug-11 00:47:44

I know that you are right AnyFucker. I need to think hard about what I do want, which I have not really done for a while. I think confiendence issues are around for me, but that is another thread. Useful comments though, I shouldn't feel guilty. Am not sure what I will feel though.

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