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To be annoyed at SIL saying my DC are spoilt?

(60 Posts)
Suzihaha Tue 23-Aug-11 23:27:22

During dinner she started to compare DS1 to her friends' DC, who apparently are all angels, sit through 2 hours at the table to wait for the adults to finish their meal, never shout or run around and never have to be told off.

It seems that what I thought was normal boyish behaviour for a 3.5 year old is, according to her, evidence that DH and I are not strict enough and that we are spoiling him.

She has a DC of her own who is much younger.

FabbyChic Tue 23-Aug-11 23:27:59

Tell her you aren't in to Hitler tactics.

afraidnotscared Tue 23-Aug-11 23:29:47

Say nothing and look forward to the smugness you can enjoy as her dc grows up.

Suzihaha Tue 23-Aug-11 23:30:10

LOL.....

I was starting to get worried.

Kayano Tue 23-Aug-11 23:31:56

But some people use 'it's just boyish behaviour' to justify loud and disruptive behaviour ITSwiM.

Were they being rowdy or running around. Dunno if YABU because I can't define boyish behaviour by your standards

Rowena8482 Tue 23-Aug-11 23:36:04

Buy her child play doh, a drum kit, a plastic trumpet and a set of moon sand for Xmas. Revenge is a dish best served cold....

LineRunner Tue 23-Aug-11 23:37:22

Sorry - Hitler???

Firawla Tue 23-Aug-11 23:38:50

I would just ignore. Her dc is much younger so really she hasn't got a lot of experience of dc that age, and how much of her friend's dc does she see to know that they are always angels all the time?? she sounds like she is just being smug and a pain tbh. Wait and see how she is when her little pfb becomes older as she may change her tune! I find people like that really annoying

Suzihaha Tue 23-Aug-11 23:43:18

Boyish behaviour to me is wanting to run around a park, sometimes making a lot of noise while playing, wanting to leave the table as soon as they have finished eating (or perhaps before). Throwing a tantrum now and again.

Occasionally being naughty and not sharing/taking turns with others all the time.

Having to be reminded to say please and thank you sometimes.

CustardCake Tue 23-Aug-11 23:44:45

It depends really. Nobody realistically expects a 3.5 year old to sit for 2 hours in absolute silence displaying excellent table manners and due consideration for fellow diners the whole of that time. If that's what she thinks she will get when her PFB is old enough she's in for a shock

But similarly your idea of "normal boyish behaviour" could be other people's idea of extreme behaviour at the other end of the scale. The mention of shouting and running around for example doesn't sound great at meal times and is something most parents would try to stop (maybe not hugely successfully with 3 year olds but its the kind of thing most people would expect parents to try to control at least to some degree in kids that age and definitely not ignore).

CustardCake Tue 23-Aug-11 23:45:36

X post - you are the normal one and she's nuts. Case closed grin

MumblingRagDoll Tue 23-Aug-11 23:46:38

Hate "Boyish" behaviour threads. What is "girlish" behaviour then? Don't they ever run around or shout? hmm

Whatmeworry Tue 23-Aug-11 23:46:45

Assuming that you are not a PFB Mum whose idea of "boyish behaviour" is screaming at table, throwing food and kicking the other guests, then Yanbu. She's definitely a candidate for the Birthday Drum grin

MumblingRagDoll Tue 23-Aug-11 23:48:18

You said...."

Boyish behaviour to me is wanting to run around a park, sometimes making a lot of noise while playing, wanting to leave the table as soon as they have finished eating (or perhaps before). Throwing a tantrum now and again.

Occasionally being naughty and not sharing/taking turns with others all the time

Like girls don't do any of the above? It's CHILD-LIKE behaviour. Not "boyish" ffs.

Suzihaha Tue 23-Aug-11 23:48:59

I think a drum kit may be put on my xmas shopping list now smile

Suzihaha Tue 23-Aug-11 23:50:34

Sorry. I have no experience of girls as I only have two boys.....

Guess it is child like behaviour then!

Pandemoniaa Tue 23-Aug-11 23:50:48

Oi! That's drummist, that is.

(Said as a drummer!)

worraliberty Tue 23-Aug-11 23:51:43

I have to say it depends on whether you're being 100% honest with yourself about his behaviour.

I think as a Mum it's natural to become defensive and put some behaviour down to 'being a kid'....when actually that behaviour is a bit worse than that?

I'm sure we've all sat there with a hmm face as a parent describes their little 'darling' as 'spirited' when actually they're being downright naughty.

Whatmeworry Tue 23-Aug-11 23:52:57

Or a vuvuzela...hours of fun watching Annoying People's Kids learn to play the vuvuzela.

MumblingRagDoll Tue 23-Aug-11 23:53:46

Yes. I don't like all this "Oh he's a typical boy" or "Oh she's such a typical girl" when it comes to children. Too much negative behavious is excused this way....be it girls being mean (oh she's such a bitchy girl...but then aren't they all?) or boys being violent (Oh it's just his boyish energy)...not saying your boys are violent of course...but it's just more labeling and sexism that kids pick up on.

squeakytoy Tue 23-Aug-11 23:54:23

I am 42 and I wouldnt be able to sit at a dinner table for two hours without moaning about it! grin

worraliberty Tue 23-Aug-11 23:55:21

Re the 'labelling' though

In my experience girls do tend to be a bit more bitchy than boys and boys do tend to be a bit more boisterous and violent.

Obviously that a generalisation...but in my experience it's a fairly valid one.

Whatmeworry Tue 23-Aug-11 23:57:07

In my experience girls do tend to be a bit more bitchy than boys and boys do tend to be a bit more boisterous and violent

Good lord woman - next you'll be saying boys are different to girls [shock at heresy emoticon]

worraliberty Tue 23-Aug-11 23:57:45

I am 42 and I wouldnt be able to sit at a dinner table for two hours without moaning about it! grin

Then just lie about your age....it works for me grin

worraliberty Tue 23-Aug-11 23:59:04

I know Whatme shock

What I meant to say was everyone's the same as everyone and everyone is just as good and equal to everyone else...not that I'm singling out 'everyone' cos I wouldn't dare.

That's be everyone-ist shock

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