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to take half her dole money from her?

(350 Posts)
RebelFromTheWaistDown Tue 23-Aug-11 18:28:00

Eldest DD recently completed full time further education course and has since had no luck finding a job. sad She has signed on the dole today.

She is now in shock because I told her she has to give me half of her dole each fortnight for her bed and board. She is getting excellent value for money IMO. She thinks it is too much. AIBU?

cornsilx Tue 23-Aug-11 18:29:23

how much does she get?

FabbyChic Tue 23-Aug-11 18:29:47

You don't have kids so they give you money, when you have kids you do so knowing that you provide for them UNTIL they leave home.

I would never take a penny of my working children let alone those on the dole, I spent the last 7 years on Sickness Benefit yet my son in that time worked he saved every penny and it will get him through Uni.

I think you are being greedy.

RebelFromTheWaistDown Tue 23-Aug-11 18:30:24

Dole is about £100 a fortnight for a young person.

Sofabitch Tue 23-Aug-11 18:30:41

It will only be £37 it would be fair to ask for food money or tell her to buy her own food.

diddl Tue 23-Aug-11 18:31:16

What is dole money supposed to be for?

Living expenses or to spend on whatever the recipient wants?

Melly20MummyToPoppy Tue 23-Aug-11 18:32:11

What fabby said. Yabu.

cornsilx Tue 23-Aug-11 18:32:14

can you afford to have her there for less? I think that it would be really tough for her to live on £25 a week these days but if you can't afford to keep her otherwise then she'll have to.

Crosshair Tue 23-Aug-11 18:32:37

Id take about 30/40%, so less then half.

I do think its important to take something even if its just a token £10.

Crazybit Tue 23-Aug-11 18:32:43

Yanbu or greedy! You're teaching her that things have value. Greedy hmm

Takitezee Tue 23-Aug-11 18:32:45

Half is way too much. I know she hasn't got a job but if she's genuinely trying then I would just take a token amount, say £10 per week. She's young and should be spending her money on clothes, going out and holidays.

AlpinePony Tue 23-Aug-11 18:33:17

Put the money aside for her when she's on her feet. She'll need deposit/first month's rent/bus pass.

squeakytoy Tue 23-Aug-11 18:33:20

What would you do if your kids stay at home until they are 50 Fabby???

Paying board once you are earning is something that all adult offspring should do. How else do they learn to budget for when they go out into the real world?

LadyThumb Tue 23-Aug-11 18:33:26

No, YANBU. She needs to now start learning 'life' lessons, and one of those is that food, electricity, water and heating are not free.

TheProvincialLady Tue 23-Aug-11 18:33:35

That is absolutely the most sensible thing you could do. Otherwise she will have no idea of the realities of adult life - ie you pay your way. There is nothing sadder than adults living off their parents in perpetual teenagehood. If you are so inclined, and if you can afford it, you could put it in a savings account for her.

Mandy2003 Tue 23-Aug-11 18:33:49

It would I suppose approach what happens in "real life" - that your dole only covers the bills (^possibly^). But I think most parents usually take about £10 per week for keep from unemployed offspring.

If you are going to take more, why not save up half of it in an account for her and use it to buy her something excellent when she gets a job (I'm thinking work clothes here!)

BeerTricksPotter Tue 23-Aug-11 18:34:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandy2003 Tue 23-Aug-11 18:34:10

Oh cross post!

diddl Tue 23-Aug-11 18:34:39

"She's young and should be spending her money on clothes, going out and holidays."

Well, she can do that when she gets a job, can´t she?

That isn´t what dole money is for, is it?

SuePurblybilt Tue 23-Aug-11 18:34:45

I don't know. I agree with taking rent money from adult children: iMHO you're doing children no favours by letting them find out how to budget after they've left home. But the JSA is worked out for living expenses: if she paid rent somewhere else, she'd be entitled to HB as well. So really, you're only justified in taking what her share of food and utilities costs you - is that half the JSA?

coccyx Tue 23-Aug-11 18:34:52

How much does it work out on a weekly basis

ObiWan Tue 23-Aug-11 18:35:08

I'm not sure.
If your daughter had left home, she would get housing benefit and things as well as Jobseekers Allowance.
She will not be able to do much in terms of travelling to interviews, buying suitable clothes etc. if you are asking for half of the money that she's getting now.
Do you actually need the money?

RebelFromTheWaistDown Tue 23-Aug-11 18:35:17

Exactly diddl

RedHotPokers Tue 23-Aug-11 18:35:41

YANBU OP. Learning the value of money, and appreciating the efforts and financial contributions of others is a lesson well learned.

I would also ensure she is pulling her weight around the house. The other option would be to reduce the amount per week to a nominal amount (tenner?) and ask her to contribute further by buying some food, splitting phone bill etc.

YANBU, I paid rent to my mum when I was working, I dont see why a child should be rewarded for not working by getting to keep the money thats supposed to pay for bills.
If she doesnt need it for bills, I dont see why she should get it!

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