H decided in Jan that he didn't want to sleep in the same room as me so I moved into the spare room and later onto a mattress on the floor in the box room.
At the end of Feb he decided that he didn't want to be accountable to anyone and certainly not me and that we should separate. By that time he was being so nasty to me (I couldn't say or do anything right) that I wasn't sorry but did suggest trying counselling.
I came back from caming with the kids with Easter and he'd put an offer in on a house so I think his intention was quite clear and since then he's demanded half the value of the house plus other things - but that's another story.
Basically his Mum lives in Ireland and I assumed that when he went over to see her with the kids in May that he would tell her - but he didn't (DD1 didn't know at that point so I could understand to some extent). He was not keen on me telling my parents but as I've had to borrow money off them I had to and of course they've been supportive.
We told DD1 (8) a couple of weeks before the end of term and while of course she's been upset, she's been so mature about it and tried to look on the bright side. I paid H the money from this house in the middle of July, for some reason he didn't complete for 3 weeks but the house is now his (even though he's still living here while he does some work on it).
He went to visit his Mum again last Thursday and took DD1 and DD2 (2) with him and as DD1 knew I assumed again that this time he would tell her, but when I spoke to DD1 she told me that she was finding it really hard keeping the secret I am so that he could put her in that position and for her as she clearly wants to talk about it. I did think well it's his decision though.
Today when I phoned up to speak to the kids she asked me what was going on. She said she could tell that something was up and he'd admitted we weren't happy but not said anything else (well he had told her that he was sleeping in the front room that he would lie like that, but...)
I said she should speak to him but she kept asking and I just couldn't lie so in the end I told her that we'd separated and he'd got a house. I also said that we were trying to be amicable for the kids, that we'd be close, he'd have them half of the time and that DD1 was being very positive and that we'd been getting on a lot better since (well that was a little white lie).
I do feel really bad, it wasn't my place to tell her but I couldn't keep lying. He'd actually invited her over to stay in October so I don't know what he was going to do - keep up the pretense and move in? Drive up to a different house and tell her then?
So I'm ready for you to tell me I should have minded my own business, interested to see if anyone else would have told..
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to have told MIL about (soon to be ex) H and I?
137 replies
ninja · 23/08/2011 16:37
OP posts:
MadamDeathstare ·
23/08/2011 16:58
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.