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to want a good relationship with my MIL bit long sorry

(6 Posts)
Filibear Tue 23-Aug-11 11:41:24

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JanMorrow Tue 23-Aug-11 11:59:52

To be honest, it sounds like your MIL is relatively harmless, if thoughtless. It probably didn't occur to her to offer assistance when you were pregnant (if you are usually independent) and calling you sicknote (whilst hurtful) was probably a joke.

It sounds like your husband does need to try a bit more with your mother though, yes he WAS rude to her after you had the baby. Did he apologise? Maybe try and organise some more fun family get togethers so they can socialise in a relaxed environment a bit more?

Takitezee Tue 23-Aug-11 12:10:10

Your MIL doesn't sound too bad. I wonder if the problem is you resent the fact that she's close and your mum isn't.

Your husband was very rude to your Mum but it could have been that he wanted just some family time if he had parenity leave. I doubt you would have wanted MIL to stay after the birth. I know it's different because you have given birth and have hormones flying everywhere but it's still his family and he might have felt a bit redundant.

Catsdontcare Tue 23-Aug-11 12:13:55

I think you are being a bit unreasonable tbh. But then I have an interfering MIL so i'm biased!

InfinityButNotBeyond Tue 23-Aug-11 12:31:03

She sounds ok to be honest (unless there's more you're not telling). I think you are just expecting her to be your mum and annoyed that she isn't. The not helping you out might have been because she didn't realise you needed it -or maybe she was waiting to be asked. MN is full of "I know I have hyperemesis but MiL is trying to help and driving me mad" type threads.

In terms of your mum, I can understand DH would feel awkward with having her about - especially if she'd already been there for a few days.

cottonreels Tue 23-Aug-11 14:55:26

I think you Mil is worried about overstepping boundares. She wasn't feeling confident enough to walk into the house so found herself calling out to check it was still ok. I do that too if I don't know someone too well and I feel like an intruder when I walk in (even though I've been told it's ok). Sounds like you need to make her feel really welcome.
sad re your mum. Yes, he needs to make effort too

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