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To feel that giving up breastfeeding is like stopping smoking?

(125 Posts)
ThroughTheRoundWindow Mon 22-Aug-11 19:47:55

My LO is 7 months now and is getting on so well with her BLW that she has had a massive growth spurt and jumped two centile lines on her growth chart. My health visitor said that she wasn't concerned with DD's weight "yet" but I should not be giving her any breast feeds during the day anymore. This was a surprise as I thought the point of BLW was that the baby took less milk when she wanted to, but at the same time I don't want her to actually get fat so I'm trying to take HV's advice.

The thing is, stopping feeding is loads harder than I ever imagined. Leaving aside the engorged breasts I just desperately miss the intimacy with my daughter and am finding it incredibly difficult not to offer her the breast when she asks for it. I'm pretty sure she isn't going hungry or thirsty but I think she misses the closeness too and keeps going for my boob when I cuddle her. I've told my DH that I shouldn't be breastfeeding and so all weekend whenever I went to offer DD the boob he gave me dirty looks or told me not too. My breasts really hurt and I felt desperate to do it - it's an exaggeration to compare it directly to giving up smoking as it isn't as sharp a craving, but there is a similar feeling of loss.

Today DH was at work at I fed DD twice during the day. I know it isn't in her or my best interests to be inconsistent with this but it is so hard not to do it!

AIBU to be so weak?

Andrewofgg Mon 22-Aug-11 19:50:11

Forgive me as a man saying that I am going to watch this one with some interest!

LineRunner Mon 22-Aug-11 19:50:25

No. It's sad when you stop.

fifitot Mon 22-Aug-11 19:51:19

WTF is the HV talking about? At 7 months you should still be led by your baby. Feed her when she wants it, ignore what the HV says - makes no sense.

This is one of the reasons I stopped taking DS to the baby clinic - got such rubbish advice!

Just don't go and won't hear such daft advice.

RitaMorgan Mon 22-Aug-11 19:51:57

Well refusing to breastfeed a 7 month old in the day is a stupid idea imo - so YABU for that!

You want to feed, she wants to feed, the World Health Organisation says to feed frequently and on demand until 2, breastmilk should be the main part of her diet until 12 months.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:08

YABU. It can be hard, but nothing like stopping smoking.

poppycat04 Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:11

Hi TTRW, I don't really understand your post. Do you want to stop breast feeding? My gut reaction is to tell your HV to butt out angryblush
Like you I have a seven month old but am still feeding as and when with the BLW....

Woodlands Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:25

What terrible advice from your HV! You should certainly still be feeding on demand.

AtYourCervix Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:34

She's 7 months old and clearly still needs to breast feed. Ignore your health visitor - she is talking bollocks.

pigletmania Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:34

You don't have to stop at all! What is the HV on about shock. The WHO recommeneds bf up to 2 years. She is still a baby and needs milk, carry on bf as long as you want to.

Georgimama Mon 22-Aug-11 19:52:38

You are being unreasonable to listen to your mentalist health visitor. You're also being unreasonable to worry about a seven month old getting fat. In fact, there is an awful lot that is very sad and wrong about your entire OP.

Breast feed your baby when you and she want.

RitaMorgan Mon 22-Aug-11 19:53:16

And stopping suddenly will give you mastitis too, so if you do want to stop drop a feed at a time, every few days.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Mon 22-Aug-11 19:53:25

And totally agree, HV is talking bullshit.

MightyQuim Mon 22-Aug-11 19:54:01

That seems really odd advice. I thought milk was supposed to be the main food until 1 and then continued to be a good part of the diet until 2. Personally I would have been more inclined to offer less solids but I didn't do blw so not sure how you would go about it.
YANBU to be 'weak' as you put it as loads of people find it difficult to stop feeding but I would probably get a second opinion about giving up the day feeds altogether if you want to continue them.

pigletmania Mon 22-Aug-11 19:54:52

Yes breast of bottle up to 1 year

poppycat04 Mon 22-Aug-11 19:55:01

Looks like we all agree so far then!

pigletmania Mon 22-Aug-11 19:55:04

meant or doh

emsyj Mon 22-Aug-11 19:55:22

Agree that is bizarre advice, but have to say I was delighted when I gave up bf (when DD was 1) - FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!


shelfy74 Mon 22-Aug-11 19:55:46

Feed on demand! Stupid hv. If she's putting on too much weight (which I doubt with ebf and blw) just offer less calorific but still nutritious food, fruit and veg.

Poweredbypepsi Mon 22-Aug-11 19:56:12

at 7 months i would have found it very hard to give up but by a year my dd was only having 2 feeds a day and tbh when i decided to finish it wasnt traumatic at all i just went to one feed, then one day she stopped asking. hat was abotu 3 weeks ago now and I have had no pain or problems she doesnt seem bothered at all - i think you and your baby have to be ready and it doesnt sound like you are.

MightyQuim Mon 22-Aug-11 19:56:25

Also if you are stopping the feeds because of your babies weight then I assume the HV doesn't even want you supplementing with formula. Does your little one eat a lot of cheese/yoghurt cos if not they're gonna be short on dairy. Second opinion definitely. I thought HV were supposed to promote bfing.

goandshowdaddy Mon 22-Aug-11 19:56:31

YANBU to feel that way but you should definitely ignore your HV and carry on BF your baby on demand if it's what she and you want! I'm sure babies still need milk as their main source of calories and nutrition at this age so I'd think not breastfeeding her in the day is bonkers (not you - the HV).

Georgimama Mon 22-Aug-11 19:56:34

I have to say I have encountered several HVs who seem to regard BFing to six months as the Holy Grail but make the massive assumption that obviously you will want to stop at that very moment because obviously BFing is a massive chore hmm and even a bit icky hmm. The ones I have met don't seem to be conversant with WHO guidelines at all (other than one who mentioned it, but said "well obviously that's for third world countries where the water isn't safe, not here").

spudulika Mon 22-Aug-11 19:58:07

Your HV is an idiot. Ignore her. Really. I've never heard such terrible advice. sad

hairfullofsnakes Mon 22-Aug-11 19:58:07

Do me a massive favour please - please please REPORT this idiot HV for telling you to do this as she doesn't know what the fuck she is on about! Such wrong advice is dangerous and she should not be allowed to spout such shit. Aghhhh - 'advice' like this makes me crazy. Please don't stop the day feeds and please be led by your LO. How long have you followed her crazy advice for?

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