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to be utterly shocked still 2 weeks later, that this woman thinks her dcs shouldn't have to see . . .

(47 Posts)
WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mon 22-Aug-11 16:33:02

. . . or mix with people who have special needs or a disability!

I was shocked! Got talking to my DHs friends wife who I know a bit, a couple of weeks ago. She was saying that she doesn't want her dcs to have any special needs children in their class (they do so she's moving them to another school) as it will disadvantage her children!!!

I think it's great for kids to mix with others of differing abilities as that is what the world is like and is an incredibly important lesson. More important even then getting perfect results or being the class genius or whatever.

She then went on to say that the certain childrens tv presenter with one hand shouldn't be on telly, her dcs shouldn't have to see that. She thinks the bbc should give an explanation as to why she only has one hand and let the public decide (based on what the reason is!) whether she should be on tv! My DH was arguing with her, as you would do, and she was losing, so as a last resort she said "yeah well she puts it about anyway". My DH went "huh?" and she said that it is known that tv presenter has slept with a lot of men.

I got the impression that she felt that if the woman must be on tv with her disability then she would also have to be whiter then snow.

Is it just me or is this woman a wanker?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Mon 22-Aug-11 16:36:08

Why on earth would you think that anyone would call you unreasonable?

worraliberty Mon 22-Aug-11 16:37:37

YABU she sounds lovely and you should take a leaf out of her book and move your child to her child's school.

FFS <rocks to and fro>

Notinmykitchen Mon 22-Aug-11 16:39:55

What bizarre attitudes some people have, her children are going to grow up with a very limited view of life. Its sad really. I wonder what she would do if her children had any kind of accident or illness that left them with a disability, disown them?

Theyremybiscuits Mon 22-Aug-11 16:41:37

A colleague of mine has a child with SN who was going to attend a SN school locally.
When the parents went to visit the school they said their daughter was not going to THAT school because their daughter was not LIKE THEM.
I was very upset as my DB had physical and other disabilities and went to the same school when he was alive.
I did extremely well to keep my cool sad

maybells Mon 22-Aug-11 16:41:53

sounds like a complete dick head to me! oh how would she feel if her children or grandchildren were ever diagnosed with an disability or special needs. i suppose she would be one of those that just say there is nothing wrong with them they are just "naughty".

CailinDana Mon 22-Aug-11 16:42:04

YABU of course but her views are actually not that uncommon it's just that she is obviously socially inept enough not to be able to hide it. I've worked with people with disabilities for years and in the course of conversations with a lot of apparently intelligent people about my job I have come across some really hideous attitudes. I've had people say that children with autism are no better than animals, that money spent on adults with Down syndrome is wasted, that there should be compulsory abortion for babies whose disabilities are discovered in the womb. Sane people who claim to be liberal and who would never utter a racist or sexist remark in their lives have espoused these views. It is sickening.

aldiwhore Mon 22-Aug-11 16:42:31

This woman is a wanker and could quite possibly be my SIl (if you're reading this SIL you won't care because you're utterly crackers) best to ignore... you won't change her, so drink tea and carry on. Occassionally you'll have to have these discussions, so see them as entertainment.

I'm all for educating people (or rather giving them resources to educate themselves) and I'm always up for a deep discussion... but sometimes, you get to the point where you just have to sit back, laugh and do your bit to take the piss out of them, else you'll despair.

My sister in law said she'd hoped I wouldn't have a 'mong' because they're violent. Pfft. I was 7 months pregnant at the time.

When all else fails, when you meet someone with no light or reason behind the eyes, just smile, mock, roll your eyes and hope to bejayzuz they never hold a position of power. The only time my SIL clocked my internal despair was when she decided she wanted to be a counsellor and I spat my spritzer all over her dog (type thing) ... be cross by all means that there are some folk ou there who just cannot be swayed, but don't dwell on it too much.

dribbleface Mon 22-Aug-11 16:44:12

Gosh are people still so ignorant. Would find it hard to tolerate being in the same room as her to be honest.

NorfolkBroad Mon 22-Aug-11 16:44:37

Very disturbing. Of course YANBU. It's a horrible attitude. The school where I teach is very mixed and that is one of the things that we all love about it so much. Some people are very scared of anything or anyone that is different.

aldiwhore Mon 22-Aug-11 16:46:49

I should add, in all my experiences... both as a child who went to a comprehensive school with one obviously disabled child and as a adult who's mingled every so often in a non dramatic manner with people who are different than me, its actually never been a spoken 'issue'. Why should it be?

Which makes me believe that in general, people are much more accepting when a real life situation is in front of others than they are when talking about their worries in a 'what if' sense. People talk shit basically.

minipie Mon 22-Aug-11 16:53:18

YANBU of course

But then, I know a woman who plans to have an ELCS because she "doesn't want a disabled child". hmm shock on so many levels.

Some people are just idiots.

hayleysd Mon 22-Aug-11 16:54:19

My sil is disabled and my dc have never once mentioned her bring different (my 6 year old is mentally more advanced than her at 27) and I think this is how it should be, she's just their aunty who they love.

This woman sounds horrible

Bestb411pm Mon 22-Aug-11 16:55:52

"This woman is a wanker and could quite possibly be my SIl (if you're reading this SIL you won't care because you're utterly crackers)"


CailinDana Mon 22-Aug-11 16:59:23

Sorry my post should have said YANBU of course

electra Mon 22-Aug-11 17:05:26

People can be vile. Most often, people think that disability wouldn't happen to them and their family so they don't bother to challenge their own thought processes.

whatsthescore Mon 22-Aug-11 17:14:05

Her kids will have to move schools every year. I don't think I teach a single class without a child with a learning disability.
She sounds poisonous.

porcamiseria Mon 22-Aug-11 17:16:22

do bears shit in the wood?

CMOTdibbler Mon 22-Aug-11 17:19:58

What a foul woman. Shall I pop round and show her my manky arm ? The children aren't scared of it, they just ask sensible questions. Adults on the other hand...angry

WilsonFrickett Mon 22-Aug-11 17:20:34

She is a poisonous witch. But you would be amazed how many people think that having SN needs in classes suck up resources or 'hold the brighter children back' because they are 'going at the pace of the slowest'.

And does she think that the (very lovely) TV presenter lost her hand cos she (allegedly) slept around then? Did she catch 'having one hand' due to her outrageous promiscuity? Cretin (her not you or the presenter) angry.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 22-Aug-11 17:23:35

Are you still going to be friends with this woman?

Corvax Mon 22-Aug-11 17:26:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReindeerBollocks Mon 22-Aug-11 17:28:01

She is a bitch. She belongs in a big vat of porridge, where she will not be able to escape and will be prevented from forcing her vile views on anyone else.

My SIL, a few Christmases ago, was jealous of DS because he was ill in hospital and she wasn't getting enough attention. SIL now lives in my giant porridge hole in the garden. It's the way of the future for the ignorant....

saintlyjimjams Mon 22-Aug-11 17:28:43

Ah one of the best things about having a child with a disability is he filters out people who are not worth knowing. I don't have to waste any energy on such nonsense.

Peachy Mon 22-Aug-11 17:29:44

She's gonna get nowhere with that! A good % of the kids with SN won't even be picked up until they are at school anyhow.

Besides- ds1, ASD, going to an ASD Unit in September at age 11 for comp.

Won award for reading, for being school council chair (voted for by the kids not some 'charity' thing as some mums thought).....

Put his efforts in last eyar into cake sales for Shelterbox and UNICEF, trying to organise some racial awareness issues.

DS3 likewise SN, is in a mixed base (so Sn with access to MS where capable- ds3 isn;t, much for academics but can for say playtime, lunch etc) is considered a joy by the other kids who treat him like royalty: he etaches them kindness (by example, he is so gentle and loving) and tolerance and they teach him the real world and friendships.

Win win.

Woman's kids are missing out, but sadly as kids are given attitudes (not always) by parents then I suspect any potential SN classmates are quite lucky.

Oh and my asd sn ds1? reading age 3 years ahead of actual: he ain't holding anyone back!

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