Or rather, I suppose, is he being unreasonable in his expectations of how often he should see my parents?!
Since the start of the year, he has seen them: once for a cup of coffee on a Saturday morning in Feb; a day trip up for lunch at Easter; a concert one evening in June. He is now saying he feels 'claustrophobic' because we have been asked to have dinner with them this coming w/e for my dad's bday AND are going to their 40th anniversary celebration in Oct.
I should say that my parents ARE, no denying it, not the easiest of people to spend time with, hence the fact (I feel) that I limit the amount of time we see them as much as poss. I tend to see more of them without DH, eg the occasional w/e when he's away or busy (or can't face coming!) etc. It's a drag for me too, I hate to say, because though of course I love my parents they can be extremely demanding and judgemental and - yes - claustrophobic. However, they never actually behave that way in front of DH so it's not like he has to put up with snidey comments over the table etc.
I will admit too that I have been disingenuous in the past with DH - promising him we won't have to go to a family b'day event or something and then at the last minute feeling guilty and insisting that we drop everything and go. So I do accept that there is 'background' to this.
Re his parents, I am a saint of course . Actually, seriously, it's a different situation with them, they are divorced (un-amicably) and so there are never any big family events, that said we do see a lot of his dad and though we see less of his mum I have only once in all the years we've been together complained and said I didn't want to go and do something with her. (I still went, just a bit unwillingly). My point is that I accept that you just do things with your in-laws without a huge amount of fuss, assuming you're not otherwise engaged or anything. And I don't think I am asking my DH for a massive amount of attendance!
But am I being unreasonable? How often do other people see their parents/in-laws? DH keeps doing 'straw polls' of his friends who all - surprise surprise - think he's being maligned. My friends tend to see their parents as much or more. Is it a female thing?
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in my expectations of how often DH sees my parents?
29 replies
emeraldgirl1 · 22/08/2011 14:40
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