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to be annoyed by people complaining about the "intensity"; of the summer holidays

(159 Posts)
whoneedssleepanyway Mon 22-Aug-11 11:39:46

Met some friends yesterday, they are both SAHMs, I work 3 days a week in fairly high pressure job and my DDs are in nursery (private nursery so no summer holiday).

They were both complaining about how the summer holidays had seemed so long and it was so intense looking after the children for that length of time and find things to do and how their children were getting bored now.

All our DC1s are due to start reception in September.

Both patronisingly said to me "you don't realise at the moment but you will do once your DD1 is at school how long and intense the summer holidays are", to which I was like "Well sadly I will still have to work in the summer holidays so won't have the benefit of spending all that time with my DDs"

WTF...I would LOVE to have the whole summer off with my DDs, oh the poor things having to spend the summer finding things to do with their children...

AIBU?

twinklytroll Mon 22-Aug-11 11:41:09

I agree, I adore the summer holidays and love the time with my dd. It is the once chance I have to feel like a proper mum for an extended period of time.

dexter73 Mon 22-Aug-11 11:41:25

They sound a bit like martyrs to their children/life. YADNBU!

going Mon 22-Aug-11 11:41:50

YANU, I love the summer holidays. Not having to get ready for school everyday, take the kids to after school clubs is fab. WIth three kids I find term time far more intense!

JarethTheGoblinKing Mon 22-Aug-11 11:42:23

'proper mum'

hmm

pinkthechaffinch Mon 22-Aug-11 11:44:19

Well I'm a SAHM who finds the long summer holidays a bit intense at times (a 9 year old and a 2 year old) so you are a bit u.

and actually if you only work 3 days a week in your 'intense high pressure job', you may well find you dc a little bit trying by the end of the long hols and be glad for them to return to school.

SenoritaViva Mon 22-Aug-11 11:44:24

I love the school holidays and spending time with DD. I have loved not having to charge out of the house for school in the morning etc.

BUT for DD I think I am looking forward to her going back to school because she's excited and frankly I think she IS a bit bored of hanging out with me. I've organised loads of times for her to play with friends but it is never enough! I am just not the same as her friends which is fair enough. As a result I am excited for her to be starting school again, but shall miss her like crazy. Perhaps this is what your friends meant (clutching at straws?)

worraliberty Mon 22-Aug-11 11:44:38

YABU in a way because you sound as though you're letting your envy cloud your thinking.

The holidays can be intense...depending on the age of your children, how well they get on, the area you live, finances and so on.

I doubt for a second they don't enjoy it really..it's just that for them it's intense right now.

SiamoFottuti Mon 22-Aug-11 11:45:13

YABU, you're as judgemental of them as you think they are of you. It bloody is hard work having them off school all summer when you are used to them being in school. I've had mine off for 8 weeks with another 2 to go, I have 3 of them here all day instead of 2 of them gone all morning, I can't study or get any housework done.

Just because you have a job doesn't make your life any harder, or theirs any less. Stop comparing yourself to others.

SenoritaViva Mon 22-Aug-11 11:45:37

Oh and I am looking forward to her going back to school so that I can give the house a proper clean...

twinklytroll Mon 22-Aug-11 11:46:02

Why the hmm.

I work long hours during term time and study, I am out of the door by 7 and back just after 6. I then have to work at home. That means I spend much of time time tired and having to say to dd "in a minute"

My works part time and gets to have lots of time with her as well as having time to take care of the house. Perhaps the word parent would have been better than mum. Anyway I spend most of the year envying him and love the chance to swap roles.

JosieRosie Mon 22-Aug-11 11:46:56

YANBU. I'm not a parent but work with loads of parents and I feel a bit shock at all the martyr-like comments from the vast majority of parents I know. I can well imagine that the kids would drive you crackers at times but isn't it nice to have extra time to spend with your children??? I know parents who were moaning about 2 days into the hols that they couldn't wait for September!

lililolo Mon 22-Aug-11 11:50:34

I totally realise how lucky I am to be a SAHM. When DD goes back after the holidays we always seem much more bonded than we were in the beginning. I find the holidays intense though. My H works away so it's just me and her a lot of the time and we get a bit fed up with each other tbh - much as you would if you had 7 weeks in the company of your husband (I would anyway). Some days we feel a bit peeved with each other. I think that's OK. I find holidays usually go: first few weeks: excellent, no routine, lots of friends to see, lots of activities to do that we've saved up during the nursery routine then a few weeks in, we're both a bit tired and I get no break at all. I went out the other night and realised I was talking really quickly because I was constantly waiting to be interrupted. Then when we're on the last couple of weeks to going back I start to realise how much I'll miss her when she's at nursery for a few hours every afternoon. She's starting reception this year too and that is a double edge sword of course!

BTW: I have been a working mother too, and I'd say it's just a different kind of intense.

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 22-Aug-11 11:50:37

Siamo but I have never said to them or even thought it "oh your life is so much easier and less intense than mine as you don't work", believe me I know it is hard work looking after DCs fulltime, they were the ones turning round to me like "you don't know what it is like looking after the children for the full summer holidays" and it fucked me off a bit

and "pinkthechaffinch" I didn't say my job was intense...but it is stressful and pressured even though I am only paid for a 3 day week, I do often do stuff on my days off so 3 day a week jobs aren't necessarily a cushdy number.

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 22-Aug-11 11:51:12

sorry pink didn't mean to "" your name meant to make it in bold

worraliberty Mon 22-Aug-11 11:51:31

For goodness sake...saying it was so intense looking after the children for that length of time and find things to do and how their children were getting bored now

Is hardly the crime of the century is it?

So whenever any has a little moan about anything...no-one should nod sympathetically? confused

worraliberty Mon 22-Aug-11 11:53:10

they were the ones turning round to me like "you don't know what it is like looking after the children for the full summer holidays" and it fucked me off a bit

But you don't, do you? confused

Perhaps that's why you can't empathise with them?

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 22-Aug-11 11:54:28

worra did I say it was crime of the century...?

No I don't think I did, I said it irritated me that they were making out I had it easy for not having to spend the whole summer with my children.

If they are allowed a little moan am I not too?

Al0uiseG Mon 22-Aug-11 11:54:46

I really object to anyone whingeing about the long summer holidays. They knew that it was part and parcel of having children, they had holidays themselves and probably really enjoyed them.

BalloonSlayer Mon 22-Aug-11 11:56:29

I'll stick my neck out and admit I find the holidays hard . . . I am a SAHM, and during the holidays I feel nagged to provide entertainment. The first thing they say when they get up is "What are we doing today?"

They are generally happy if we go out for the day (££££££), go to the shops, even food shops (££££££) or have friends round (which usually involves a meal - ££££££).

Days spent at home tend to mean days playing computer games.

I find that in the case of DS1 (11) the second the door is closed on Friend X going home, he assumes The Face and sighs: "I wish Friend Y could come round." And yes, appropriate lectures have been delivered and ignored.

So I enjoy being with them, but I am horrifically skint and tired of being personal assistant to three of the blighters.

whoneedssleepanyway Mon 22-Aug-11 11:57:58

Worra no maybe not school holidays but I have had a year of maternity leave when I had DD2 when I looked after both kids fulltime.....so I do have a bit of an idea what it is like to look after my children all the time.

worraliberty Mon 22-Aug-11 11:59:29

Then surely you can understand how at times it gets a little intense?

Really I think you probably took what they were saying a little personally. Sounds to me like they were just letting of a bit of steam.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 22-Aug-11 12:00:56

YANBU
I work term time only and so to all intents and purposes I am a sahm in the summer holidays.

It's lovely. We stay in our pyjamas til 11ish and have a proper breakfast like sausage/bacon/beans, instead of throwing on clothes and shovelling cereal down our necks. We can walk the dog for a couple of hours, maybe take a picnic. All the children on the street play in our street so I get half an hour to iron/do a load of washing etc.

It's sooo much easier and more pleasant than being at work.

If these women are sahm to children who are at nursery every day they will be getting significantly less me time than usual. Perhaps that's what they are missing?

twinklytroll Mon 22-Aug-11 12:01:37

I think it can be hard if you are skint or if you lived in cramp accomodation. I admit I am lucky to have a decent sized house and I live near beaches and fields. We are not skint but we are not rolling in cash, most of our days involve pottering around the house, walking, picking fruit, cooking or making stuff.

I guess I am lucky to have a child that likes to do similar things to me.

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 22-Aug-11 12:05:51

I think some people have this really rose tinted view of babies and dont realise what having a child actually entails. Everyone knows that schools have long summer holidays yet so many parents moan about actually having to look after their own children like its the end of the world. Its the same when people moan about not being able to go out or go on holiday without the children.

I can imagine juggling childcare, time off etc with the children when working can get a little hassled at times but a SAHM is home all day every day so cant see why on earth they would be stressed or "intense" in the summer holidays at all.

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