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Is this cheeky or normal for christenings nowadays?

(112 Posts)
knittynoodle Sun 21-Aug-11 18:36:25

A 'friend' of mine has had her son christened. We were invited although I dont really know her that closely even though we have known each other a long time IYSWIM. So I sort of feel that we were invited to make up numbers and gifts!

Anway, the invite came with a three page booklet and invitation. Details on what to get her son for his present. They have asked for money.

After listening to her go on about finding the 'perfect' church for the day (I thought a child was christening in your parish church) and crow about how shes not religious anyway, I find asking for money really crass. At ever other christening Ive been to, the guests have given religious items or books.

AIBU or is this the done thing now sad

ps. I bought the child an illustrated bible.

Annunziata Sun 21-Aug-11 18:37:47

I've never heard of that in my life!!

YANBU.

VaginaPuddleduck Sun 21-Aug-11 18:39:27

I've never been to a christening but asking for money does sound inappropriate to me.

I wouldn't be going to a special day in her child's life if I disliked the woman as much as you clearly do though. Why are you going?

LineRunner Sun 21-Aug-11 18:39:32

Is there a place Beyond Cheeky? Because that's where your acquaintance lives.

Gonzo33 Sun 21-Aug-11 18:39:35

YANBU I think that is cheek personified.

Neither my husband nor I are religious so we did not get either of our children christened.

BeerTricksPotter Sun 21-Aug-11 18:40:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littlefish Sun 21-Aug-11 18:40:04

I think this is appalling. I don't think I would attend to be honest.

Mitmoo Sun 21-Aug-11 18:40:35

Whilst I agree it is crass to ask for money thank goodness my christening guests chose to give gifts and money the grandparents and God parents gave illustrated bibles as well as other gifts. There are only so many illustrated bibles a child needs. What a waste of money.

nokissymum Sun 21-Aug-11 18:42:31

Buying a bible was priceless wink she might even open it one day smile

BeatRoute Sun 21-Aug-11 18:43:01

I'd rather she wasted her money on a third illustrated bible than shove another tenner the parent's way...

DontGoCurly Sun 21-Aug-11 18:43:03

What a crass grabber!

I wouldn't go.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sun 21-Aug-11 18:43:45

YANBU they'd get sod all from me.

Although actually... No, I'd buy their baby a book on etiquette as it seems very clear that mummy and daddy aren't up to the job of teaching manners.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 21-Aug-11 18:44:00

YANBU how crass!
I buy a religious gift or nothing, I've never heard of a gift list!! shock

TimeWasting Sun 21-Aug-11 18:44:21

I hate non-religious folk doing church weddings/christenings, makes me queasy.

Agree with Mitmoo though, that if everyone decided to buy a bible it would be a terrible waste.

I've got a christening to go to soon and I'll be buying a toy.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 21-Aug-11 18:45:47

LOL at the etiquette book! grin

lachesis Sun 21-Aug-11 18:46:27

YANBU. COMPLETELY tasteless. Well done on giving a Bible. We're received such wonderful presents at each of our childrens' christenings (we are religious): a proper, adult Bible, a 'first', illustrated Bible, books of prayer, knitted matinee jackets to put on after taking off the christening gown, gold and silver religious jewellry, religious candles, etc.

Would never have thought of asking for money.

LeoTheLateBloomer Sun 21-Aug-11 18:46:33

Unbelievable cheek! shock

IMO Christenings should really be for the Godparents and close family. Maybe some other really close friends, but certainly not an excuse to be money grabbing.

Totally unChristain (and even worse that she's bragging about not being religious)

Urgh <Blood boils>

knittynoodle Sun 21-Aug-11 18:47:20

We went because she knows my DP quite well too. She asked if Id make some cakes to take along too. I didnt because I totally forgot but she didnt notice because she barely spoke to us.

I have another christening to go to next week (which Im looking forward to actually) and will probably take a toy. I think I bought the bible to show that thats the kind of gift you should expect!

Muser Sun 21-Aug-11 18:47:30

Asking for money is definitely not on. You might give money of your own free will, but asking? Yuck.

I buy gifts from Oxfam Unwrapped or similar for christenings. School desk and chair for a child in Africa, or midwife care, something like that. I figure toys are for birthdays and everyone else will buy a bible.

supergreenuk Sun 21-Aug-11 18:47:34

I wasn't aware gifts were expected in the same way you would buy a gift for a wedding so I would say it was cheeky. Looks to me like they are doing it for ALL the wrong reasons which is up to them I suppose.

ChippingIn Sun 21-Aug-11 18:48:13

Definitely beyond cheeky.

Though I have to say, a childrens' bible is not going to be a unique gift grin

Mitmoo Sun 21-Aug-11 18:48:56

Thing is Nokissmum, how many others have got the same thing. I've kept the grandparent's ones and the Godparent's ones as they are souveniers of the day with special messages in from loved ones.

I am so glad no one else bought them for the baby, now a teen, and went for Christening photo frames, bracelets, childrens money boxes etc from Argos or similar which I still have.

Coming from a family with religious grandparents. I will keep the bibles, just as I have my own father's words written into my First Holy Communion Book which is treasured and loved, but religious memorabilia from friends who know you are not religious just seems like a complete waste of money to me.

Sorry.

ChippingIn Sun 21-Aug-11 18:49:00

x-posted

If that's the case - I like your style grin

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Sun 21-Aug-11 18:49:05

I don't know why but when I opened this I knew it was going to be a gift list grin

You did the right thing.

lachesis Sun 21-Aug-11 18:52:22

'She asked if Id make some cakes to take along too. I didnt because I totally forgot but she didnt notice because she barely spoke to us.'

She did? FFS.

For christenings I usually give: a cross for the child's bedroom, silver or gold religious jewellry for the child to wear later on (Rosary or scapular or medal for Catholic infants), a book of prayer, an engraved photo frame with name and date (religious one) to put a photo of the day in, give a contribution to the church, Holy water (for Catholic children), religious candles, a suncatcher, etc.

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