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to ask whether anyone else's DD/DS inadvertantly swears as much as mine seems to?

(30 Posts)
LifeIsButtercream Sun 21-Aug-11 16:39:05

DD is 2yrs, she doesn't actually swear in context, but as she doesn't pronounce very accurately we have:

Clock = "cock"
Stick = "dick"
Fork = "fuck"
Tick tock = "dick dock"

Amongst others, we had a particularly embarrasing visit to a big old house the other day, where she exclaimed loudly in a very echoey hall "Look a BIIIIIIIIG COCK!".......

Any other DC's out there with amusing/obscene misspronunciations?

Cattleprod Sun 21-Aug-11 16:48:00

We had the fork = fuck, and the 'Mummy look at that massive cock' as we drove past the church with my mum in the car. blush

I think the most inappropriate has to be his early pronounciation of washing machine.......'wog machine', though thankfully now he's 3 he can say it properly

worraliberty Sun 21-Aug-11 16:53:34

When my youngest was about 18 months, I nearly died of embarrassement as he spotted the blackcurrant juice in Asda and screamed Black cunt! Black cunt! shock

The whole family were under strict orders to call it Ribena after that blush

iklboo Sun 21-Aug-11 16:54:09

DS couldn't say 'blackcurrant'. He'd say it without the 'black' part. And without saying the 'r' sound. So he'd shout what sounded very much like 'cunt' in the soft drink aisles of supermarkets blush

pozzled Sun 21-Aug-11 16:56:47

My DD has just turned 3 and still can't quite manage blends like 'st' 'sn' and 'sm' at the start of words.

So stick= dick.

Much amusement in the park when she says things like 'Look what a big dick I've got'.

worraliberty Sun 21-Aug-11 17:00:08

Haha or look at that dog chasing his dick grin

LeoTheLateBloomer Sun 21-Aug-11 17:02:09

"Mummy, are we going in the fucksack?"

Err, that would be the rucksack then blush

Teaandcakeplease Sun 21-Aug-11 17:15:53

Ha haaa! At this thread. Love it. Both mine have done these when younger, so embarassing grin

bebejones Sun 21-Aug-11 17:25:49

Oh yes! My DD (3) has done the clock = cock one.

She can't say 'F' sounds properly so that leads to some amusing pronunciations!

When she was about 18months or so she went through a animal noises stage. I can remember being mortified as I was wheeling her in a trolley around Tesco & she was shouting 'COCK' at the top of her little voice. She was trying to do 'Cock-a-doodle-do'! Much shushing & 'yes darling, a cockerel goes Cock-a-doodle-do!' She would listen, look at me with big eyes and respond... 'COCK!!!!' with even more volume & enthusiasm!

Groovee Sun 21-Aug-11 17:30:17

I was babysitting for some children and one of them kept sucking her fingers. Her brother couldn't pronounce S and shouted on the bus "Lainey's Fucking her fingers!" very very loudly. blush

spout Sun 21-Aug-11 17:52:00

worra grin

spout Sun 21-Aug-11 17:52:57

DS loves to announce the colour of cars. "white car" comes out quite clearly as "wanker". Handy if one has just cut me up wink

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Sun 21-Aug-11 17:56:36

When I was about 3, I very politely told the man in the Jeweller's that "Mummy has a big cock like yours". Obviously, I meant clock, and he knew it, but Mum didn't show her face in there for about 6 months.... grin

DS used to add a "h" to sitting. And very pleasantly told an old lady at the bus stop that he was shitting nicely.

Gonzo33 Sun 21-Aug-11 18:00:10

blush omg my dd says all of these. It is mortifying sometimes..ha ha

Confuzzeled Sun 21-Aug-11 18:00:37

DD 4.6yo said the other day she'd like a lovely crap... we were at a crepe stand though and I'm sure that happens all the time.

However when dd was 2.5yo and i was heavily pregnant with ds I dropped something in the veg department in Sainsbury's and dd announced "Oh Flucks Hake Mummy". I stupidly giggled and went red, so she said it again. Cue me saying, "Yes we need bread for the DUCKS". Not sworn in front of dd since I may add.

Red2011 Sun 21-Aug-11 18:03:28

Still laughing.... now I can't wait for DD to start talking. Where did I put that ribena?

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Sun 21-Aug-11 18:06:18

Haha, in the case of deliberate swearing from DS, we were stood at the bus stop in the snow, early december last year, and a bus drove straight past us. An hour later, and there was no bus. So I've muttered under my breath "where's that fucking bus..." DS couldn't have heard me... As soon as we got on the bus, he said really loudly and clearly, as I was showing my pass, "The fucking bus is here, Mummy!" If ever I wanted instant death, that was it...

NoNoNoMYDoIt Sun 21-Aug-11 18:07:08

i took a pot of fruit with us to the doctor's surgery to keep DD (2) amused while we waited. in there was a satsuma. she picked it up, handed it to me and shouted at the top of her voice 'piss off, mummy. don't forget - piss off'. (pith...)

LottieJenkins Sun 21-Aug-11 18:07:31

My late dh was called Frank........ You can imagine what the children used to say when they tried to say his name!! wink

LottieJenkins Sun 21-Aug-11 18:09:41

Oh and i nearly forgot when Wilf was learning to speak (he is deaf) He used to try and say "Mother" and it came out as "Bugger!!"

SleepyCaz Sun 21-Aug-11 18:09:59

Worra My DS said the exact same for about a year! Horrendous!

earlyriser Sun 21-Aug-11 18:12:25

My ds is going through the rhyming stage, so may say jigsaw/pigsaw, which is amusing but fine, what is NOT amusing is when i'm asking him to do something, he calls me a nagger, but prefaces it so I become a n*gger nagger blush blush blush.

Squishylicious Sun 21-Aug-11 18:16:17

What's this? And what is it? Was a-shit with DD. So we tried what's that? That came out a-shat. yy to fork-fuck, but it was socks that were cocks in my house.

HoneyPablo Sun 21-Aug-11 18:22:31

DD couldn't say her name when she was very small so Alice's became Arses
Fudge yoghurt became fuck yoghurt

BeerTricksPotter Sun 21-Aug-11 18:30:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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