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So... if potential hot date lives at home with Mummy, AIBU...

(155 Posts)
RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:18:35

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Jackin Sun 21-Aug-11 14:19:56

no.

TidyDancer Sun 21-Aug-11 14:19:57

Yes, I think you are tbh. It's only if he's being taken care of like he's a child that you need to start worrying. Presuming that he isn't, YABU.

Jackin Sun 21-Aug-11 14:20:28

oops sorry x post

buzzsore Sun 21-Aug-11 14:21:23

How long has he been living back with his parents?

And yes, it certainly takes the hot off the hot date, imo grin.

LeBJOF Sun 21-Aug-11 14:22:22

Oh, it's you. Yes, he's probably weird as fuck grin

DrGruntFotter Sun 21-Aug-11 14:22:41

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ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Sun 21-Aug-11 14:26:47

It depends. My SF lived at home with his parents but he had a full time job, contributed to the bills and the costs of work done around the home, including having a new bathroom put in. He also did his share of cooking, cleaning etc. In short he wasn't a 'mummy's boy'.

Wrt to your 'PHD' (potential hot date) it depends on why he's there. Is he staying because it's cheaper so he can get his debts paid off more quickly? Or is he there because he's a 'mummy's boy'?

missmogwi Sun 21-Aug-11 14:26:58

YANBU if his mum's ironing his underpants and tucking him in! But if it's just a temporary thing then might be ok?

Makes me think of Malcolm off Mrs. Merton thoughgrin

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:27:09

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RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:28:10

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LeBJOF Sun 21-Aug-11 14:29:01

Why don't you just get to know him a bit better before doing all the hot date business then? You'll have more time to decide whether he's attractive to you.

LeBJOF Sun 21-Aug-11 14:29:48

Ronnie Corbett in Sorry?

aliceliddell Sun 21-Aug-11 14:30:05

missmogwi - shine had better check out those boxing gloves, eh?

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Sun 21-Aug-11 14:30:23

No it isn't really. I can just see it now...you go in for the kiss and then "Xxxxx!! do you and Shiney want a cup of tea?" grin

LadyThumb Sun 21-Aug-11 14:30:36

So you want him to pay for his DCs, the house they are living in and you still expect him to be able to afford his own place? I think you are BU - a lot of older people are in this position because mortgages/rents/divorce are too expensive.

If you want the hot date to go further why can't he come to your place?

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:31:01

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LineRunner Sun 21-Aug-11 14:31:02

I 'let go' of a bf who was living at home. It all came to head when he had the opportunity to move out - which made sense financially and socially - but didn't. It's not right and it's not sexy for a man to live at his mum's.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:32:16

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ShoutyHamster Sun 21-Aug-11 14:32:59

What's his timeline? Did he live at home until getting married, or did he fly the nest of his own accord, flatshare etc. before his first marriage?

THAT will tell you a lot, i.e.

a. Went from Mummy to New Mummy and then back home when it didn't work and there was, inexplicably, no-one to wash his pants, or;

2. Normal person dossing with parents, with whom he has a nice normal grown-up relationship, while the finances are dire.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:33:12

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cookielove Sun 21-Aug-11 14:33:59

Agree with others in that if he had never moved out and was very mothered it would turn me off, but if he is living there because he had no other choice and his parents were generous enough to let him come back, that is a different story,

My parents are friends with an older couple, my parents being in there 60's and this couple are in their late 70's early 80's. The couples youngest son is 30 something and lives in their converted attic, which his parents paid for, he has no job, comes and goes as he wishes, his mother washes all his clothes and puts them away for him, she has to go up 3 flights of stairs to do it, and she is rather frail, the father wants to retire he can't because the son is essentially draining them of everything, but they are to nice to say anything and continue to live like this.

Now that guy i would not date, but would tell him to start treating his parents with a bit of respect angry

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Sun 21-Aug-11 14:34:00

It'd be far less exy if he lived alone in a hovel though. If it's all he can afford, then I guess there's not much he can do about it atm.

Hassled Sun 21-Aug-11 14:34:05

YANBU. It is unsexy. It's the "no immediate plans to move into his own place" that's the killer.

RumourOfAHurricane Sun 21-Aug-11 14:34:09

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