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Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

(235 Posts)
Muckyhighchair Sun 21-Aug-11 13:25:51

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

tinybluebubbles Sun 21-Aug-11 13:33:16

Hi

Welcome to my world!! I had to give up working a few years ago as the childcare was costing me more during the school holidays than I was earning as one child was at school. Since then I have been unable to find a job because part time work is impossible to find, and with full time jobs I cannot get or afford childcare for 3 children! I'm a single mum so it seems to be worse! As soon as you apply for a job and they realise you are a single mum, door is closed on you.

I hate being on benefits, but currently have no choice. Until employers learn that us mums have a lot to offer if they treat us with respect and make allowances for the fact that children are sometimes ill etc, we are stuck in a rut.

You can image the stigma attached to me - single mum, 3 kids, and on benefits. And its so unfair... since not working I've trained to be a Teaching Assistant so try and enable me to get a job, but those jobs are few and far between as everyone wants them!

Life sucks at times!

toniguy Sun 21-Aug-11 13:34:25

Yes yabu in expecting to have a job where you don't have to use childcare at all. Unless you have a job which starts at about 9.30, finishes about 2.30 and has every school holiday off, (and i bet there are precious few of those about) then childcare is a fact of life. You will still turn a profit after childcare bills are paid which is better than for some. Plus you'll be bored shitless sitting at home fitting your life around school runs- not to mention the example it sets your kids.

microfight Sun 21-Aug-11 13:37:27

"evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc"

You definitely don't need bar skills to work in a bar you will be trained. So why not try that. You could end up progressing into a management role quite easily in that industry and start earning a bit more after a year or so.

worraliberty Sun 21-Aug-11 13:38:28

There are no 'skills' needed for bar work

You don't even have to add up...the tills do that and tell you how much change to give.

RealityVonCrapp Sun 21-Aug-11 13:39:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

microfight Sun 21-Aug-11 13:40:17

Or be a bit more entrepreneurial and start up a toddler class child minding. No-one says it's easy but it's possible.

toniguy Sun 21-Aug-11 13:42:47

Exactly reality. Ime its something that people tend to obsess about if they stayed at home before the children started school , and don't realise how comparatively well off they are, only having to use childcare for before/ after school and school hols. If you are used to paying nursery fees, you're darn grateful when they start school and it's only august which leaves you out of pocket

ObiWan Sun 21-Aug-11 13:43:31

You could work night in a supermarket, your DH will be home for the children assuming he works days. I've known loads of parents and students who do it.

joric Sun 21-Aug-11 13:43:45

Worral... No skill to work in bar? Well, something is wrong with me then because I tried bar work when I was a student in a busy club and couldn't do it. I'm rubbish at waitressing too.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin Sun 21-Aug-11 13:45:41

The difficulty is also that there are a lot of young unemployed without childcare issues attached, and it will be worse next year when a lot more post A level choose not to go to uni. Our local Sainsbury's, Tesco and other unskilled jobs are all full of 6th formers from the local college.
Bar jobs are snapped up too.
You don't mention what you are qualified to do, so perhaps more training would open more doors.

Muckyhighchair Sun 21-Aug-11 13:46:05

Micro

The amount of bar jobs I have applied for is rather silly, they really do want someone who has done the job before. One job at local bar got 54 applicants for it! Was for evening bar work, it's really mad

Toni
I know I've got to use some c/care but I've tried as I stated with one, and brought less home a month because of it!
I don't mind using c/care at all, but the jobs around me don't offer any flexibity, a weekday job still wants you to be free on a Saturday in case anyone is off sick. What do I do then? C/care costs are really high yet the wage is low, plus add the benefit reduction I really do bring less home. I know that working mornings isn't freezable. So evening work it is, but then it's getting a Job isn't it.

7to25 Sun 21-Aug-11 13:46:08

My son has recently finished his student job at a bank call centre. Three evenings a week, 8-12pm. It was very popular with people in your position and the rate of pay was better than bar work and he finished at midnight on the dot; no clearing up after the bar closed and a lot safer.

joric Sun 21-Aug-11 13:46:47

Toniguy... Yep, now that DD is at school- the £78 after school club money compared to £780 nursery fees, when she was a baby, is nothing!!

Katisha Sun 21-Aug-11 13:47:15

WHat about starting a child care business? Childminding?

worraliberty Sun 21-Aug-11 13:47:26

No joric no skills needed to serve drinks and take money as far as I'm aware.

Waitressing is different though...I wouldn't have the patience for it grin

Sofabitch Sun 21-Aug-11 13:47:41

Yabu. The rest of us manage. I've just finished a sucky crap 25 hour shift. But guess what. I would rather that than not provide for my children. I looked at a teaching assistant job though. But because it's only term time it works out a pittance and I'd still need breakfast club.

Can your dh flex his hours slightly ? My dh finishes early 2 days a week so I work longer those days etc. To save childcare. I also work weekends to save childcare.

Muckyhighchair Sun 21-Aug-11 13:51:17

Fort I'd add I can't work nights, I have to take a lot of medication that makes me dopey and have to take it at night (cancer drugs and heart issues) there is no way I'd be safe to work to night shift, I'd fall a sleep whist driving/working

aliceliddell Sun 21-Aug-11 13:51:50

Well, yes, because the concept 'job' is based on husband wage earner + wife housewife/mother. The inconvenient fact that women go wage earning to pay mortgages etc has not had much effect on the job concept. Parental leave and flexible working are viewed as the exception not the rule. Wrap round childcare at schools is a luxury add-on, not he norm. And now the breakfast clubs, subsidied childcare etc get cut too. Any questioning of this genius system will earn you the title of benefit dependant scrounger reliant on squandered public spending. <whispers 'Harriet Harman'> <runs away>

TeamDamon Sun 21-Aug-11 13:52:57

I think YABU.

You seem to expect the job to fit in perfectly to your daily routine without causing you the least inconvenience - but jobs don't work like that!

Did you get fired from the shop you worked at because you couldn't work Saturdays despite its being advertised as a weekday post? Because you would then have a case for unfair dismissal.

You don't need bar experience to work in a bar; they train you on the job. And while I appreciate that you didn't enjoy being a home carer, if you really need the money, as you say, you might need to do it anyway!

If you can find a job that fits in with school hours, as Reality says, you simply budget for holiday club over the course of the year.

It is hard, but you need to be prepared to make some compromises. At the moment you sound as if you want it all on your terms.

Muckyhighchair Sun 21-Aug-11 13:53:24

Dp works 6 days a week 8.30 till 5.30 but finishes late with no notice around 3 times a week, then gets in around 7

Katisha Sun 21-Aug-11 13:54:10

Are you on this medication in the day? Does it affect what type of work you can do, apart from shifts?

joric Sun 21-Aug-11 13:55:28

Worral - Like I said, this 'skill-less' job of serving behind a bar ( in a busy club).....I tried to do it when I was a student and I couldn't keep up.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin Sun 21-Aug-11 13:56:14

Could you manage some hours as an agency nurse, respite or carer?
I'm just thinking of you competing for a job with my DD and her friends, and wondering what you would have to bring to it that they would not.
because that is surely what a new employer would look for, what you can do for them.

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 21-Aug-11 13:56:29

YABVU, very few jobs that fit in school hols and give you every school holiday off.

You are unlikely to find work if you are looking for the ideal hours, pay that covers childcare, loss of benefits and still leaves you with a good take home rate so you need to be realistic. Yes, you may have to pay some childcare, its part of being a parent. Losing benefits can surely only be a good thing, far better to earn your own money than be reliant on others and not working as it may reduce your benefits sends the wrong message to your children.

Its not having kids that is affecting your ability to gain work as you state but rather you have a sense of entitlement where you are very picky and not living in the real world.

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