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to just want DH to sort out the bloody paperwork?

(16 Posts)
LikeACandleButNotQuite Sat 20-Aug-11 15:41:17

My first AIBU <shivers>.

DH due a wage cut in September, all contracts changing etc. Will be around £150 per month worse off. Not massive, but we are a low income household. He has been researching Tax Credits and thinks we will be eligible. I suggested he pick up the forms for it, but said we probably wont be eligible until his wage drops. He said "we could have got it before now. We really should have sorted it before now".

I replied "well, you could have gone and got the forms whenever you liked?"

Seems petty, but why "we??" why should I have to take joint responsibility for this? I earn a decent enough wage, and if he wishes us to claim extra due to his low income, I expect him to sort it out. We share every penny, all in a joint account, each of us takes what we need from it after bills etc, so I guess I feel like "I put enough into the pot" and if he wants more in there, he should sort it. Eithr that or (a) find a job which pays more of (b) shut up about it.

When we bought our home, I was the one who sorted all the direct debits, which providers to use etc etc. I don't mind, but think well, it should be up to him to sort stuff too. He's also been saying about our energy bills and us shopping around for a different supplier etc to bring costs down, but has not done a single thing to contribute to this. No doubt in a couple of weeks he will be saying "we really should be sorting out the Gass/Elec bills". I thnk what we pay is reasonable, and has not gone up in the 3 years we have bee here, so am not motivated to spend ages researching it.


Need some perspective here. Am preparing to be be told IAB a little U.

FabbyChic Sat 20-Aug-11 15:43:43

You don't need forms you do it over the phone or online.

ImperialBlether Sat 20-Aug-11 15:46:34

I know what you mean; it's like you're dragging someone into behaving like an adult.

The only thing is, if he doesn't do it, it won't get done, so if I were you I'd sit him down when you're both free and apply online.

LikeACandleButNotQuite Sat 20-Aug-11 15:46:59

ok, re Fabs: I shall re-name Thread "AIBU to just want bloody DH to just sort the things HE wants that by phone or paperwork"

ZillionChocolate Sat 20-Aug-11 15:47:49

He did say "we", rather than "you". My DH is responsible for dealing with all the bills as part of his contribution to the household, I'd rather do other stuff instead.

Maybe write a list of what needs to be done ands divide it up. I certainly don't think that you should just sort out the tax credits.

onthebus Sat 20-Aug-11 15:48:13

It's a household job, same as cleaning the kitchen or cutting the grass. Every household has its own rules. Some have one partner in charge of financial things, some split them up in some understood way (e.g. in this house DH sorts out all the insurance renewals, but I sort out weekly budget and anything to do with savings). If you're not happy with doing how things are currently divided then you need to talk to your partner and agree how they should be divided up. Same as any other household jobs really .... there's no "right" way to do it.

Imgoingtocounttofive Sat 20-Aug-11 15:50:44

You need to do thinbgs that neither of you want to do, together. Youre a partnership. Plus its easier together cause you can make sure you have all the info.
I beleive tax credits go by the previous tax year earns so his cut wont be taken in to account yet.

Takitezee Sat 20-Aug-11 16:00:34

Marriage is a partnership and you play to your strengths. It seems that paperwork is one of your strengths and your dh isn't entirely comfortable with it.

Unless he is a lazy sod then I think you are being a little bit unreasonable.

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 20-Aug-11 16:21:38

You claim as a couple (its based on household income) so you both need to complete the form - you havent been bothered too so why should he? You seem to think as you earn more he should do more in other ways - unless he works less hours YABU.

Ryma Sat 20-Aug-11 16:39:24

Never ever ask man to sort paper work, it will cost you smile

HappyCamel Sat 20-Aug-11 16:43:55

YANBU but if he's not going to do itand it gains you money then you might as well. Play to your strengths.

It's the same in my house, I do all the paperwork but then I don't mow the lawn or do the DIY because I don't like it.

Kayano Sat 20-Aug-11 16:51:14

I don't know because you said We share everything down to the last penny.

Why can't he say we in relation to paperwork/ getting more pennies for your joint family?

Yabu IMO

LesserOfTwoWeevils Sat 20-Aug-11 16:58:03

YABU if you haven't told him you think he should sort it out.

fedupofnamechanging Sat 20-Aug-11 17:20:30

Truthfully, if you can manage it, I'd steer clear of the tax credits. They are a fucking nightmare and something always goes wrong whereby you end up owing the bastard government money.

Agree with you that if it matters that much to your dh, he should look into changing suppliers/applying for stuff.

Well done, for not caving and doing it for him, just to get it over with.

LikeACandleButNotQuite Sat 20-Aug-11 19:20:33

Thank you for the advice, I suppose I just thought if he's that bothered, he should just sort it. Its not on my list of priorities, mainly for the reasons Karma says, I see it going wrong.

I also think we do OK with money, so we shouldn't claim extra.

Sofabitch Sat 20-Aug-11 19:45:37

Have a little play with the figures on entitled to. Yabu. It's a joint claim based on both your incomes.

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