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to think that my 11yr old dd is not responsible for a neighbours 5yr old dd's bike ??

(27 Posts)
TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:41:23

Dd2 has just come into me in floods of tears because a woman who lives a few doors round has just had a go at her.

Apparently yesterday this womans dd (will call her R) had been out the front on her bike and then her and her mom went out. R said to next doors dd (will call her P, she is also 5) that she could use her bike. (the bike is normally left sitting on the front garden, day and night).

At some point then during the day my dd and P and a whole load of other kids went down to the play area at the end of our road. This is a normal occurance, and P goes down on her own as well as with my dd or any other kids that are around.

When i told my dd to come in last night she said that P had told her to bring R's bike up but she couldn't as she had her own scooter etc. I told her to go tell P to fetch it herself which dd did.

I have just been out to the woman and basically she is saying that dd was in charge of all the kids being the eldest there and that she should have made sure her dd's bike got brought home.
I told her not to be so ridiculous, and that my dd was not responsible for next doors kids or other kids property, and she told me to fuck right off.

Am I going mad to think that she is being completely unreasonable to blame my dd for a bike that she had absolutly nothing to do with ??

Sofabitch Sat 20-Aug-11 14:44:13

Yanba if your dd had nothing to do with it. But I would have asked my dd to help if she was with the younger children.

Sofabitch Sat 20-Aug-11 14:45:13

But your neighbour is being very unreasonable to have a go at your dd. I wouldn't stand for that at all

RitaMorgan Sat 20-Aug-11 14:45:20

Since your DD a) didn't agree to take responsibility for the bike and b) didn't agree to take responsibility for the other children it definitely has nothing to do with her!

YANBU

BuntyPenfold Sat 20-Aug-11 14:46:01

What language - was this in front of the children?
Of course your DD is not responsible for a whole bunch of children and their toys, what nonsense.
I suppose the bike has now vanished?

activate Sat 20-Aug-11 14:47:02

did your DD use the bike?

who took the bike down to the park?

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:48:15

Sofabitch - The girl who left the bike at the park was with her two elder brothers (8&10) so they could have brought it up with them. My dd had her hands full with her own stuff.

BuntyPenfold Sat 20-Aug-11 14:49:11

Did your DD take the bike to the park?

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:49:16

Dd didn't use the bike no, it is tiny, and she has her own anyway. It was the neighbours dd that was using the bike and took it to the park.

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:49:46

Dd just happened to be in the same place at the same time as neighbours dd who did take the bike down there.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sat 20-Aug-11 14:50:01

YANBU your DD is a child herself nd at 11 too young to be responsible for other kids and their stuff. Tell this woman to fuck off right back!

Sofabitch Sat 20-Aug-11 14:50:54

Well in that case it really had absolutely nothing to do with your dd I'd def be telling my dd to ignore the stupid bitch having words.

worraliberty Sat 20-Aug-11 14:51:13

I wonder if the Mother knows the full story or if one of the other kids told her your DD took it down there?

activate Sat 20-Aug-11 14:51:31

well in that case I'm afraid to inform yuou that your neighbour is a fuckwit

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:51:57

Exactly DDS.

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:52:59

Oh no she does know activate, because i asked dd in front of her who had taken the bike, and she said P did. P was stood outside at the time and just laughed.

I saw P riding around the close on the bike too.

BuntyPenfold Sat 20-Aug-11 14:53:36

In that case the whole thing is a nonsense.
Unpleasant for your DD though; I'm not surprised she was in tears. I remember being frightened of an aggressive parent nearby at that age, who had no jurisdiction but acted as if she did.
Normally I would scout around looking in hedges for a lost bike, but not when spoken to like that.

LineRunner Sat 20-Aug-11 14:55:20

The other mother should have brought the bike in when she and her DD went out, if it's so bloody precious to her.

She sounds a tad lazy, tbh.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin Sat 20-Aug-11 14:55:48

'she told me to fuck right off.'

Well of course she's the one being unreasonable. The bike was leant by your neighbour's daughter to another 5 year old. That child asked your DD to bring the bike back up. You told your DD to go back and say no, she should do it herself, and the child had a brother with her a year younger than your DD to help her. It's nothing to do with you.

Has the bike disappeared? Was it left out overnight?

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:56:33

Sorry i meant worraliberty not activate.

Apparenty the mother has just shouted out her window that I should do some decorating lol. My hall is stripped, i am assuming she means that.

Funny really since she has had a rolled up remenant of carpet in her overgrown front garden for about a year.

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 14:57:39

I am assuming the bike has gone yes. It was pretty new i think which is why i am puzzled about them never putting it away at night and leaving it in front of their house.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin Sat 20-Aug-11 14:59:50

Letting a 5 year old play out of sight with a sibling looking out for them is one thing. Randomly expecting that someone else's girl will parent her is another issue. Your DD is not old enough to babysit and the other mother needed you to clarify the situation.
You did, she told you to fuck off. She's not worth your time, or your daughter's distress. She sounds revolting as a parent and a neighbour.

LolaRennt Sat 20-Aug-11 15:10:19

Maybe let her know if she isn't watching her 5 year old and leaving an 11 year old in charge of her, a missing bike is the least of her worries

GypsyMoth Sat 20-Aug-11 15:16:22

Sounds like it is going to descend into tit for tat!

TheOriginalNutcracker Sat 20-Aug-11 15:55:55

Oh don't worry, i shan't be saying any more to her. I keep myself to myself and only respond if i really need to.

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