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Aibu to ask you lot to tell me to get a fucking grip.

(25 Posts)
Lollyheart Fri 19-Aug-11 21:28:43

I've been a right bitch to my dcs today sad

I've acted like a big fucking child today, I've spent most of the day on my own in my bedroom.

We are about to lose our house to repossession, well it can be saved but it's a long story.

To top it all of ds2 chucked a control at our tv and smashed the screen inside.

I just want to run away from it all.

AtYourCervix Fri 19-Aug-11 21:30:34

Get a fucking grip.

and an early night for tomorrow is another day.

AtYourCervix Fri 19-Aug-11 21:30:57

there should be a comma in there, or a semi-colon or something.

Feminine Fri 19-Aug-11 21:32:06

You are overwhelmed ,you know that I am sure smile

The threat of repossession must be dreadful.

I don't have advice now ...but I know someone here will.

I hope things turn around for you soon.

cjbartlett Fri 19-Aug-11 21:35:54

You poor thing
I'd be effing fuming if my dc had broke the tv and my house was going to be repossessed

EdithWeston Fri 19-Aug-11 21:36:18

It'll help you get a grip if you do run away from it all.

Can you off load the children - anywhere, friends, family, paid babysitter? And have some time out. It won't make any of the problems go away, but it'll help you to recharge. Even a few hours would help. Just don't fill it with chores. Steal the time as yours.

AgentZigzag Fri 19-Aug-11 21:41:20

I'll give you a hug instead of telling you to get a grip.

The main thing is that you've noticed you've been like that, and you've got pretty good reason to feel like shit and not be yourself.

Try not to be so hard on yourself smile

fifitrixibellesmith Fri 19-Aug-11 21:49:00

channel your anger into resolving your problems, not creating more issues with your kids

Lollyheart Fri 19-Aug-11 21:51:18

Dh has been really good, he can see how stressed I am.

I'll ask him to take the dcs out on a bike ride tomorrow to give me some me time, if it's nit pissin down that is.

It's all come at the wrong time, I'm not sure how long you get to move out once it's been ordered but whenever it is we will also have a newborn.

Bestb411pm Fri 19-Aug-11 21:53:06

Come on perspective - this time in a year your worries will be completely different and today will be a memory. A shit one granted, but you will come through this with your family intact which ever way the wind blows as long as you have moments like this and regain your clarity. You can do this.

Now, the tv is solvable - do you have insurance? Or check out freecycle, loads of people by me are giving away decent CRT's because everyone wants a flatscreen - very quick solution.

Repossession - I'm feeling that horrible twisted stomach for you, but it is survivable, take each day as it comes, keep a plan b and/or c and get through it. Whatever the outcome it'll be sorted and over.

Lollyheart Fri 19-Aug-11 21:54:43

I'm at a loss, there is absolutely nothing we can do but wait regarding the house, we have done all we can, that's why im so stressed, it's out of our hands.

SlowBoatToChina Fri 19-Aug-11 21:55:02

It's usually 28 days, but there will be court hearings and so on before that. Have you had advice from the CAB etc?

VeraCanSignChocolateAndWine Fri 19-Aug-11 22:02:14

From someone who's been in a similar (but not quite the same) situation, it will get better. When you hit rock bottom the only way is up. I know you won't be able to see that right now. But it will.

GirlWithALlamaTattoo Fri 19-Aug-11 22:04:57

Right. I used to do possession hearings. Is it mortgage or rent?

If it's mortgage, they can't do anything unless you're at least 2 months behind. Before they take you to court, they have to give you contact details of certain people who can give free, independent advice. Call them.

In some circumstances (one of which is if you're pregnant or have dependent children) you can get help from the council through the mortgage rescue scheme. The criteria are tight, but it's worth a call.

If you can afford to pay the monthly instalment plus a bit, try and negotiate with the mortgagee. The worst they can do is say no

If you cannot find a solution and they take you to court make sure you go to the hearing. Find out if the court has any free legal advice; people like Community Legal Service and the CAB often attend on possession days to help people in your position. Take evidence of your income, eg payslips. If something has changed, such as a new job, take evidence.

The mortgagee will be represented, probably by an agent. Some are more helpful than others, but all have very limited scope to negotiate. Talk to them; they're not out to shaft you.

The judge has a much wider discretion than the mortgagee's policy. The court can suspend a possession order if you can pay back the arrears within the term of the mortgage. That's the furthest they can go, but it's worth knowing.

The strongest advice I can give is to turn up. In the majority of cases, if you attend, there is a way you can sort it out.

Good luck. xx

Hassled Fri 19-Aug-11 22:07:34

Have you tried the Mortgage Rescue Scheme? Talk to your Housing Office.

You don't need to get a grip, you need a break. I'm sorry - in your shoes I'd be rocking in a corner somewhere. To me, you're doing bloody well.

Lollyheart Fri 19-Aug-11 22:14:04

We are in bankrupsy at the moment and going through the rescue mortgage scheme.

The problem is the 2nd charge on the house won't release because there will be a shortfall, they have been trying to make us sign an agreement to pay the shortfall and then they will release it, but that defeats going bankrupt as and shortfall is covered once the house is sold.

We have been going to court nearly every month since last October, the 1st charge are getting cold feet and will pull out soon.

skybluepearl Fri 19-Aug-11 22:21:28

((((you need hugs not a telling off))))

Lollyheart Fri 19-Aug-11 22:26:43

Oh and thankfully we have a spare tv.

It's our own fault really, the tv was on the wall but fancied a change and took it off, we just bloody knew it would happen.

GirlWithALlamaTattoo Sat 20-Aug-11 07:49:54

OK, sorry, not much more I can say except I hope it works out.

((((hug)))

Mitmoo Sat 20-Aug-11 07:56:35

This is Mumsnet at its best. Some lovely posts on here. Your daughter will be feeling the tension too, go easy on yourselves. Sorry nothing practical to offer but my best wishes.

Lollyheart Sat 20-Aug-11 09:29:24

Thanks for the best wishes smile

I'm feeling a bit better today and have hugged the dcs and said today will be a better day.

I need to realise there is nothing I can do now and what will be will be, I just want a bloody decision soon so I can start organizing things if we have to move.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Sat 20-Aug-11 09:53:36

What's a first charge?

Lollyheart Sat 20-Aug-11 10:00:26

The first charge is the main mortgage.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Sat 20-Aug-11 10:03:11

Oh!

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly stressful time! Be nice to yourself.

Onemorning Sat 20-Aug-11 10:40:29

Big hugs lolly, glad you're having a better day today. Take care of yourself x

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