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To think almost no one manages to lose a lot of weight and keep it off?

(35 Posts)
sniffy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:16:21

I'm fat and I'm sad.
I am about 4 stones overweight and almost 50, the heaviest (and the oldest) I have ever been.

I see numerous threads on MN and elsewhere where people try to support each other in losing weight. They all start matey and optimistic with people posting their weigh and what they eat.

Weeks pass and the nature of contributions change to "sorry I've not been posting - really hard month, DDs birthday, works night out, fell of the wagon..." One by one everyone fades away AND NOONE EVER SEEMS TO ACTUALLY LOSE THE LARD AND KEEP IT OFF. Just like in real life.

I have seen this happen dozens, possibly hundreds of times on mumsnet and elsewhere.

Please convince me otherwise, or join me in giving up sad

RoseC Fri 19-Aug-11 10:22:20

YANBU to feel despondent but don't give up! I used to be three or four stones (I didn't weight myself at my heaviest but last weigh-in was three stones+) overweight. I lost the weight as a teenager through harmful eating practices and, yes, as soon as I started eating properly I put the weight back on. Recently I've put even more weight back on because I wasn't exercising at all.

I'm on a diet now (myfitnesspal) which has helped because I can eat anything as long as I'm careful about calorie intake and I can 'top up' if I do exercise - even walking to the shops counts as long as I do it fast enough. I think I'll keep a steady weight this time because I'm changing my lifestyle and becoming more active. Honestly, I think it's only possible to keep weight off by changing one's whole lifestyle and keeping previously everyday foods (for me, cake) as a treat.

CMOTdibbler Fri 19-Aug-11 10:22:58

One of my colleagues lost 10st and has kept it off for 7 years - she doesn't kid herself about her eating, and the emotional reasons that she is an overeater.

But I do have a friend who has lost around 5st (or more) 4 times in the years I have known her - she is either on a diet or completely off it, and has never acknowledged her issues around food. And her 5 year old is obese due to the food as comfort/reward culture she has generated. Its really upsetting as she is a lovely woman who looks amazing whatever size she is, but she's constantly miserable about her size/food

TheFeministsWife Fri 19-Aug-11 10:26:31

My mum lost 7 stone and has kept it off for 17 years! She's still a size 10, she went to Slimming World. I wish I could bloody do the same, I need to loose about 5 stone.

TheFeministsWife Fri 19-Aug-11 10:27:12

Argh, I put loose instead of lose angry

fluffles Fri 19-Aug-11 10:29:04

i'm on a running website where everybody looks like racing whippets but every so often somebody will admit that they used to be 16stone or something! it's amazing. these people have completely changed their lives.

if you read stories of people doing big marathons too you'll often find many have lost 4/5 stone or more...

sniffy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:33:53

keep them coming, I feel a ray of hope coming on....

WeShouldOpenABar Fri 19-Aug-11 10:36:27

I lost 2 stone this year and im keeping it off - ok not a huge amount but at 10 stone now so it made the difference between fat and thin to me!
I've tried for years to lose and finally broke through with ww propoints , im evangelical about it so if anyone is considering it just ask me and ill tell you all you need to know!

ExitPursuedByATroll Fri 19-Aug-11 10:37:38

I'm another one who has lost about 4 stones about 5 times! Not quite at my all time heaviest but nearly there. I have also just hit the menopause and can feel myself expanding in all sorts of strange places. Hate my bloody body. My knees are knackered from carrying the extra weight.

I live in hope......

fatlazymummy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:40:21

sniffy don't give up! I am 51 ,was nearly 15 stones and have already lost 22 pounds over 13 weeks. Yes, I do believe I can lose weight and keep it off. I also quit smoking [a 30/day habit] over 5 years ago. If I can do that I can also control my food intake.
It's not about 'going on a diet' or giving up nice things. It's about learning to eat the amount and sorts of food that my body needs.Also becoming more active, you don't have to go to the gym to use your body. I am doing wi fit, walking more and swimming, I am actually starting to enjoy these things. I'm also paying more attention to my appearance and enjoying food that I didn't used to like.
It was actually a thread on here that motivated me saying 'why do fat people allow themselves to get fat?'. A lot of people took offence but I didn't, because it really is down to me to look after my body.
I would advise you to do some research on nutrition and portion control [most important IMO]. If you feel you have emotional problems that lead to compulsive overeating then try and find some help for that.

Ifancyashandy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:43:35

Lost 4st about 3 yrs ago. Still gone....

KilledBill Fri 19-Aug-11 10:44:42

I think part of the weight battle is why you are overweight, and how long you have been overweight for.

I have lost 4 stone in about 2 years. And kept it off. I now no longer have to "try" to keep it off, it just stays off, and if I wanted to lose more I could.

BUT - I only put that weight on from pregnancy, one pregnancy caused me to put 4 and a half stone on, and I had never ever been big before. So I think im returning to my "natural" state now, IYSWIM.

I think for people who have been big from childhood, or who were overweight before having children, find it much much harder to keep it off.

Ephiny Fri 19-Aug-11 10:45:23

I think it's a very fair observation, I see the same thing on here in the diet threads, and in real life. My MIL is always on one diet or another, she loses a bit of weight then it all goes back on, nothing really changes.

It is possible though. It's just not easy, and there are no short cuts. I agree with whoever said it requires a complete lifestyle change, you have to change your whole attitude towards food (and activity). I also strongly believe that if you're an emotional eater, you have to try to fix whatever it is in your life that's making you react that way. I absolutely could not stop overeating until I quit the job that I hated and that was slowly destroying me, and got back some control over my life. I didn't have a huge amount to lose, less than 2 stone, but I've lost it and kept it off (have gone up and down by a few pounds since, but nothing significant).

Jodianna Fri 19-Aug-11 10:48:32

I too got to my fifties and got low. I joined slimming world. Was resentful about the money, but here I am, eight months later having lost four stone, one stone to target and am still losing. It's the first time I've done it with a club, but it does seem to help. I get ideas from other people, you can talk about issues etc and I still manage to have puddings, biscuits and most importantly my wine! Yep it costs, but certainly for me, it seems to have worked.

sniffy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:51:09

I could honestly , sincerely write a book on weight loss.

A good one.

I have read every book that was ever written and contributed to numerous discussions.I am quite possibly the most informed person on the subject I know.

I was on the cusp of being an amateur fitness competitor/ bodybuilder in my 30s

But I still revert to bad eating habits and I'm fat, and I'm sad.

Thanks everybody and please keep contributing

BrightonMama Fri 19-Aug-11 10:51:53

I'll echo those who say not to give up! My sister was overweight all her life. Literally! Even as a baby she was fat - she was premature and my parents were initially worried she was too small so used to feed her all the wrong things (extra sugar in bottles of milk etc). Then from overweight baby she became an overweight toddler, then overweight teen etc

At her biggest in her 30s she was a size 20. Then one day she said enough is enough and dieted and exercised down to a size eight! It took her a year - she did it when she'd gone away to work overseas and when she came back I literally walked past her in the street as I didn't recognise her newfound tiny, delicate little face.

She's now a personal trainer and although she's not a size eight anymore, she's still only a size 10 - 12 which (IMO) suits her much better.

I've also lost about a stone recently and have so far kept it off (although admittedly that was just a few months ago so still early days).

AuntiePickleBottom Fri 19-Aug-11 10:51:54

op yanbu, everytime i lose weight i end up putting back on, i need to lose 2 stones....may just start saving for lipo and a tummy tuck lol

squeakytoy Fri 19-Aug-11 10:52:44

I have lost nearly 3 stone so far this year, using MyFitnessPal to monitor my nutrition/calories, increasing my exercise levels, and cutting down on the amount of sugar and fat. It is staying off, because I am not on a "diet" as such.. I have just changed my eating habits and lifestyle.

A temporary diet (in my opinion) is never a long term solution.

acsec Fri 19-Aug-11 10:54:46

I've lost 6 stone, 3 on my own 3 with Slimming World and kept it off (though I did put a stone back on when I went travelling for a year, but that's coming off again now).

My brother lost 5stone on Sliming World and kept it off too.

acsec Fri 19-Aug-11 10:55:36

Sorry meant to add - you can do it! grin

NorksAkimbo Fri 19-Aug-11 10:58:03

OP...I completely agree with you. I've been losing and gaining the same 2 stone for years now. What I will say is that the last time I went through the loss/gain cycle, I stopped all forms of dieting, and forced myself to look really hard at my compulsive, emotional eating. I am losing the 2 stone again, but very slowly, by working on my fitness, which seems to be changing the way I eat naturally. I feel better, and I very rarely overeat...I can finally just eat ONE biscuit and be done with it (instead of hoovering up the whole packet!).
I know that diets and programs like SW and WW work for some, but statistically, diets have a 98% fail rate...because diets don't necessarily teach you WHY you overeat.

Good luck!

NacMacFeegle Fri 19-Aug-11 11:04:08

Hi, I've lost 5 stone so far this year, and have plateaued at my original target (10 stone 8ish). I'd like to lose another stone, it's trickier at the moment because I feel pretty good so the motivation isn't as strong.

I'm not currently having any trouble keeping it off though, and I am not dieting.

The reason I was fat was that I ate for reasons other than hunger, all the time. So in order to shift it, I started first of all noticing what I ate - not even keeping a record, just being very mindful. That reduced/ changed it automatically, and got a stone off in no time. I then started running through a list of questions in my head every time I wanted to eat something less healthy/ nutritious - am I tired? Bored? Lonely? etc. If I still wanted to eat it, I would wait 5 minutes - then if I still wanted it, I would have it.

I am still having a fry once a week, chips sometimes, chocolate whenever I want it - but my tastes have also changed, instead of reaching for white bread/ pasta I am more likely to make an omelette for something quick and easy.

It hasn't been all super easy, but I haven't ever struggled with it the way I did when dieting. I don't see this as a diet, it's a change in the way I eat, and it's permanent.

I also found my activity levels upped by themselves as the weight came off - I choose to walk, where I would have cadged a lift in the past!

HTH, it's horrid feeling hopeless x

Hatesponge Fri 19-Aug-11 11:13:22

as has been said I think it depends why you gained weight in the first place - if you address that, as well as the usual of eating less/more healthily and exercising more, you should keep it off.

My mum lost 5 stone as a teenager (she blamed discovering 'English' food in her early teens for making her fat smile) and was never more than a few pounds overweight for the next 30 years. So you can keep it off - but it is easy to slip back.

I've lost nearly 4 stone so far this year. I still have another 2 or 3 stone to lose, am hoping at least to keep this 4 stone off. For me, I put the weight on partly through pregnancy, at the same time I was in an abusive relationship and fat became my shield from him. I am now thinner than I have been in 10 years and feel more like my old (pre awful relationship) self.

I do know people who have lost weight on Lighter Life and the such like - more than 5 stone in each case - thing is those sort of diets don't get you used to 'normal' eating, as soon as you stop, unless you are careful about what you eat, it all goes back on - as has happened to them sad

HairyGrotter Fri 19-Aug-11 11:19:38

It is all about mindset and habits etc. If you recognise your patterns, your reasons for overeating or reaching for the comforts then you can effectively teach yourself via CBT to stop faulty patterns.

I have lost 4st via WW's, still have 2 odd stone to go, but it's coming off nicely and slowly. I have changed my eating habits, make better decisions, still eat stuff I'm fond of, and portion control. I will never put that weight back on, I love the way I look at the moment, and will like it even more 2 stone off, and that is motivation enough.

Activity also is a must, but it has to be something enjoyable and sustainable. I love walking, that's MY time to myself, I listen to my music or podcasts or audio books and can walk 14 miles easily. Sex helps too

Go for it, believe that millions lose it and keep it off

fatlazymummy Fri 19-Aug-11 11:21:45

sniffy it sounds as if you have got into that vicious circle. You're sad that you've gained weight, so you eat something nice to cheer yourself up. Then you put more weight on and you feel fat and ugly. etc etc.I think some thing has to click for you, to make you believe that you can do it. You already have the tools but something is holding you back. Ultimately it doesn't matter whether other people regain their weight, it's down to you if you do or not.
Best of luck.

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