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to think 'How are you going to feed your baby?' is a stupid question??

(90 Posts)
RebelFromTheWaistDown Thu 18-Aug-11 17:54:40

I am pg with DC4 so I should be used to this question by now!

But the first time I was asked this with DC1 (I was 18) I was stumped, there was a long pause before the MW said 'breast or bottle?'.

'Oh' I said 'Breast, of course' as I had only ever known breastfeeding within my own (quite large) family, and I had seen people express to bottle feed too. I had never realised it was a choice between breast or bottle. How sheltered I was!

Has anyone else ever thought of it this way? Or AIBU?

TidyDancer Thu 18-Aug-11 17:57:30

It's not really a stupid question, it's a reasonably valid one....though I can understand why it confused you at first!

Shakirasma Thu 18-Aug-11 18:03:21

Yabu. It's a perfectly reasonable question.

Whilst you had only been exposed to bf, most of the women the midwives see, have a full understanding of the feeding choices available to them

GypsyMoth Thu 18-Aug-11 18:22:40


There is a choice, so a question is asked!

worraliberty Thu 18-Aug-11 18:25:27

Of course it's not a stupid question?

Breast or bottle....errrr what's stupid about that? confused

keepingupwiththejoneses Thu 18-Aug-11 18:26:59

I understand what you mean, I wasn't even asked this at 17 with ds1, the mw just presumed I would bottle feed, which I didn't, she was astonished and said I was the first young mum in the 10 years she had been a mw she had seen bf their baby, which I thought was quite sad.

MeconiumHappens Thu 18-Aug-11 18:29:18

You're are the exception from the rule, most of society are used to generations of bottle feeders, making it a valid question. Very few people would be bamboozled, as you were, at this question. More's the shame sad

MeconiumHappens Thu 18-Aug-11 18:29:40

you are your ara ar you are are sorry

worraliberty Thu 18-Aug-11 18:31:20

But it's a valid question anyway no matter what society is used to.

While there's a choice...the question is valid.

If the OP was in a 3rd world country, the question would be a bit twattish.

DeSelby Thu 18-Aug-11 18:34:01

I was asked a few times if I was feeding my baby, which had me stumped (well, yes!) until I realised they meant was I breastfeeding my baby. As it happens I was, but surely most babies are fed, whatever the method!

pigletmania Thu 18-Aug-11 18:34:57

Its not a silly question, not everyone breastfeeds!

Shutupanddrive Thu 18-Aug-11 18:35:31


PorkChopSter Thu 18-Aug-11 18:54:58

It's more unreasonable to be asked "will you be feeding your baby" hmm

MissPenteuth Thu 18-Aug-11 18:59:08

YANBU to feel that breastfeeding is the natural path for you. But it is a choice, and some women choose bottle feeding. What would be stupid is if the midwife were to assume one way or the other, rather than asking. So YABU to think it's a stupid question.

CokeFan Thu 18-Aug-11 19:11:19

I was a bit surprised to be asked "have you thought about how you will be feeding your baby?" at the booking in appt (approx 8 weeks pg). No, I hadn't thought about it, I was still getting used to the idea that I was actually going to have a baby. I know they have to discuss it with you, but it seemed a bit... Early? It's not like you can start there and then and I didn't even have to decide where I was giving birth until much later on.

TrillianAstra Thu 18-Aug-11 19:12:43

It's a perfectly reasonable question from a HV or midwife.

From anyone else - none of their business.

backwardpossom Thu 18-Aug-11 19:13:25

I always thought "are you feeding him/her yourself" was a stupid question. Um, yes, I don't pass him off to strangers while necking a coffee in Starbucks.

Well, not often anyway.

reallytired Thu 18-Aug-11 19:14:37


Even if no one in your family has chosen to bottlefeed surely you aren't so sheltered not to know of the existance of bottlefeeding.

NoTeaForMe Thu 18-Aug-11 19:15:32

I don't think that is a stupid question as there are two ways of feeding. I hated the "will you be feeding your baby" question myself. I felt like saying"no, I thought I'd let her starve" just to see what the reaction would be! Then when I ended breastfeeding earlier than originally planned due to problems people said "are you not feeding her now" ..... Of course I fucking am, it's just I'm using a bottle of formula instead! Idiots!!!

DilysPrice Thu 18-Aug-11 19:21:07

My older relatives always asked "are you feeding her yourself?" but that's because they didn't want to say b****t in public.

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 18-Aug-11 19:21:27

Of course yabu. Did you not realise that lots of people feed their babies formula? What planet do you live on? Well, okay, maybe you had quite narrow experience at 18 (although I don't actually believe you had never seen a baby being bottlefed by that age) - but now you are on dc4 I should have thought you would be a little better informed.

RebelFromTheWaistDown Thu 18-Aug-11 19:22:50

reallytired - 3 DCs later and 4th one on way I am most certainly not that sheltered to not know the existence of bottle-feeding! I have so many people try to push it on to me over the years!

First pregnancy at age 18 was a different story...

pointydog Thu 18-Aug-11 19:29:06

Of course yabu. It's a perfectly sensible question and even you - strangely in the dark about these things - were able to give the right answer.

pointydog Thu 18-Aug-11 19:30:03

I'm not sure what you mean. You didn't know there was a choice? But you knew formula existed?

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 18-Aug-11 19:32:12

I think its a way for op to let us all know she has breastfed 3 coming up to 4 children, even the first one she had when she was 18.

I think.

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