DH and I are in the middle of an argument which has been brewing on and off for months. Basically, DS1 is going through a petulent phase in his life (he is 2 yrs and 2 months), and the only person he ever listens to when we are both around is DH.
My basic view of all bad behaviour is to ignore it as much as possible - particularly when it comes to tea- time tantrums. My tactics always work when DH is not around. Anyway, whenever I try to deal with things in my way and DH is there he will continually reward DS1's behaviour with attention, asking questions like, "what's the matter?", "why aren't you eating?". This sometimes goes on for ages.
Recently mealtimes have become a bit of a joke because whenever we sit down DS refuses to eat. He starts to cry and then says "daddy help me" until DH finally caves and offers to help him (it always works), and then he will eventually calm down and eat or not depending on how he is feeling.
Today, DH cooking dinner for us, I am feeding DS2, DS1 starts his usual pushing food away, refusing to eat. After I finish feeding DS2 I say to DS1 "let mummy help you". He throws his fork at me and says "no, daddy help me". I explain "no daddy is doing something else" and he bursts into tears. Finally, I crack and say "okay, you have finished then. No dinner". DH then comes and says "I will help you", and I am left thinking - I can't even discipline him anymore.
I am starting to feel like DS1 never does anything I tell him / want him to do because he knows he will always get it from DH.
I guess I need to know if my behaviour is reasonable. How do other people manage to resolve disputes like this (where you basically have different views on how to do things)? I am finding it really frustrating, particularly when I know that when DH is not around DS is really responsive to the way I discipline and relate to him. Should I continue this argument or for the sake of marital harmony just let DH have his way?
AIBU for thinking DH should back me up a bit and not interfere with
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DS now does not do anything I tell him to when DH around...
13 replies
AliGrylls · 16/08/2011 18:00
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