Advanced search thinking that it hasn't dawned on some posters...

(62 Posts)
woollyideas Tue 16-Aug-11 15:50:34

...that their DCs will grow up to be teenagers one day? The amount of vitriol I've read on MN about feckless, feral, worthless teenagers is astonishing. For example (on these threads recently): let's make it compulsory for them all to join one of the armed services, let's implant them with long-lasting contraceptives...

AIBU in thinking that there are actually a lot of nice teenagers out there who are working hard for their GCSEs and A Levels, who have aspirations, who would like to get some part-time work if only they could, who are worrying about their futures, etc. etc. and that they are probably in the majority?

backwardpossom Tue 16-Aug-11 15:51:43

Of course YANBU

TheOriginalFAB Tue 16-Aug-11 15:51:50

I am worried about my kids being teenagers as I can't control them now.

There are lots of lovely teenagers around and more should be heard about them.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 16-Aug-11 15:52:18

You could say the same about the MIL hating threads. Lots of us will be MIL's one day..

nethunsreject Tue 16-Aug-11 15:52:49

I know loads of great teenagers.

choclatelickurs Tue 16-Aug-11 15:53:50

mine have gone past teenage

but going by some of the parenting styles on here, i agree, some are going to have a very big wake up call - or else be in the magistrates court a hell of a lot grin

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 15:54:04

Loads of lovely teenagers round by us.

Some 'rotters' too, I'm sure, but I always err on the side of them being good.

I think if you speak to people with respect they generally respond likewise.

Before going to secondary school, my DS was terrified of teenagers because of what he'd seen on TV about them! Now he's realised they're just like him only older/taller.

limitedperiodonly Tue 16-Aug-11 15:54:59

YABVU OP because I read DC to be David Cameron at first.

I could cope with my children growing up to be axe-murdering, junkie dole scum - anything but growing up to be Dave.

Well not anything. I'd kill them myself if they grew up like Gideon.

Ormirian Tue 16-Aug-11 15:55:15

My teenagers (well I only have one and one almost-teen) are lovely.

But all the others are feral, callous, selfish, violent and amoral. They must be the tabloids say so!

TurkeyBurgerThing Tue 16-Aug-11 15:56:26

Good parenting = good teenagers
Good parenting = bad teenagers.

Some are abhorrent little shits, some are fabulous young people. I think the really awful ones are in the minority but it's always the horror stories that everyone focuses on isn't it? YANBU.

I'm rather worried about having 3 teenagers in the house at once, I think it's going to be absolutely terrifying especially if they're anything like their mum dad was.

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 16:00:34

This reminds me of the time I was on the bus with DS when he was in a buggy.

I was struggling to get off with him, bags and buggy in front of a full bus of passengers who were just watching and tutting at the time it was taking. I saw from the back of the bus a gangster rapper styled teenager approaching.

He picked the buggy up, carried it off the bus, put it up for me, smiled and asked if there was anything else he could do before I thanked him and he got back on the bus.

Whenever I feel myself starting to judge a person by their age/appearance I remember this and let them prove me wrong. I've not been let down yet.

Most people are good.

LineRunner Tue 16-Aug-11 16:01:34

I was just thinking, actually, about 'Dave' Cameron's 'compulsory national service for 16 year olds'.

As in, he can fuck off.

My teenagers will be doing college, sports and other activities, thank you very much, and I don't appreciate Cameron's proposed groteque interference in our lives because of the behaviour of a few and the foaming-at-the-mouth reponse of the many including a fair few on MN, sadly.

garlicbutter Tue 16-Aug-11 16:12:25

It's horrid. Since I've been living in small towns (argh), I've been shocked by how much hatred is directed at the VERY NICE teenagers who hang around on summer evenings, being teenagers. For one thing, people in small towns don't know they're born grin and, for another, the teenagers on inner-city sink estates are mostly just perfectly ordinary kids.

I dread to think what being hated this much - just for existing! - is doing to our young people. Lots of them might grow up to hate us in return sad

Ormirian Tue 16-Aug-11 16:15:20

Before my children starting approaching their teens I was a bit nervous of groups of teenagers. I used to feel quite uncomfortable when i was running and had to go through or near such a group. But I never had a problem. Why that should surprise me I don't know - all the teenage children of my friends are nice enough people.

woollyideas Tue 16-Aug-11 16:16:15

Two teenagers stopped me in Chichester the other day and asked me if I could tell them where the nearest bin was, so they could dispose of their rubbish. And they were wearing hoodies.

Poweredbypepsi Tue 16-Aug-11 16:25:21

YANBU I would be very upset at any suggestion that my children should be forced into national service or anything of the sort simply because they dare to be teenagers!

TarquinGyrfalcon Tue 16-Aug-11 16:26:53

I know some lovely 40 year olds - and some 40 year olds who are horrible.

I think the same applies to teenagers - most are lovely, some are horrid. I was giving blood today and the centre was full of teenage boys who had come down en masse because the local radio had broadcast an SOS saying they were short of certain types of blood.
Most of them were wearing hoodies smile but they were enthusiastic, cheerful, some were a bit nervous, pretty loud and utterly delightful.

It cheered me up no end.

fluffygal Tue 16-Aug-11 16:27:32

Turkey- you're worried about 3? I'm going to have 5 teenagers in my house!!!!

momobiker Tue 16-Aug-11 16:29:29

My sd is a lovely, clever and very mature/responsible teenager

MadamDoubtfire Tue 16-Aug-11 16:38:41

Just read Tony Blair's memoirs who described his experience of fatherhood as something along the lines of

"they're boring up to about 3, then great until 12, become pretty horrible until 20, and then if you've done a good job, they become pretty normal humans again."

That bit in the middle is pretty unpredictable IME

MoominsAreScary Tue 16-Aug-11 16:50:29

We were all teenagers once, i think some people forget that! It's a difficult time, hormones all over the place, I don't think they've changed alot since I was that age, we all used to hang around on fields, outside shops or on parks with our friends we were probably pretty noisy but didn't cause any trouble.

If you'd never met a teenager in your life you'd be scared to shit of them after all the crap on here over the last week! People can be good and people can be bad, the majority of teens I've met are polite and helpful, I've met adults that are much ruder. You have to feel abit sorry for them the way society and even our government are portraying them at the moment. ( same as I feel sorry and slightly offended on behalf of single mums)

As for national service, would people realy be happy for their children to be forced into this.

PerryCombover Tue 16-Aug-11 16:55:16

I don't think that anyone expressed the opinion that all teenagers behaved in the same way therefore YABU of course
Most of the vitriol is being exclusively saved up for those who need it least.

The teenagers in question and discussion are sometimes/often having a terrible transition into adulthood because of one thing or another not being right in their lives.
A large number of children don't have lovely childhoods and the idea of having an environment where they could work for a solitary GCSE is so far away from their home life you maybe can't comprehend.
These are the teenagers who are being most nastily disparaged on these sites.

IMO for some, an option of 2 yrs national service wouldn't be a bad thing...if it could be an optional scheme where they were developed as young people away from potentially damaging environments...there are too many utopian ideas around that thought process though and it would end up horribly no doubt

Equally the provision of easily available implants for many young girls would be a godsend and one less thing for them to worry about. Implants often difficult to source or not provided locally against doctor's beliefs etc etc.

MadamDeathstare Tue 16-Aug-11 16:55:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 16-Aug-11 16:56:42

It's your own faults. Because every thread I read where someone is bemoaning their teenager's behaviour results in a load of people piling in to make excuses for the behaviour because apparently teenagers are allowed to be little shits because they're teenagers. When I questioned why so many allowances are made, I was told that "I'd learn".

So as far as I can make out, the ones who are sods are sods because, to a certain extent, they're allowed to be.

Ormirian Tue 16-Aug-11 16:59:52

But the point is gwendoline, the vast majority of teenagers aren't little shits. Regardless of parenting.

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