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to really dislike this type of parent/parenting?

(107 Posts)

I'm sure most people will recognise it and it really makes my teeth itch;

"no darling, darling no, no sweetheart mummy said no, darling, no darling, darling, look darling you're upsetting mummy now please darling no look now mummy said no" ad nauseam.

This is usually followed by a disproportionate telling off for a really minor offence (such as not eating their portion of mung beans) using language and a tone that would shame a squaddie.

AIBU to find these types of parent and style of parenting more irritating than the "shouting down the street" types?

SnapesMistress Tue 16-Aug-11 14:24:40

YANBU, makes me hmm

honeymom Tue 16-Aug-11 14:24:45

Haha. Tbh I find many parenting styles annoying. But I'm not sure which is worse I guess it depends on my mood.

Sandalwood Tue 16-Aug-11 14:27:34

A 'no darling' mummy who breaks into language that would shame a squaddie?
I have to say, I really don't think I've come across one yet.
Looking forward to it though.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Tue 16-Aug-11 14:27:35

Yes - in the Joyce Grenfell "I'm barely maintaining my sanity but at least I'm presenting a good view to the world" voice. Too much talking to little children who don't understand rather than a firm "No" and removal from the shop, for instance

I'm not unsympathetic to this, but when you look back on it having older children you see how utterly wimpy and ineffectual it is.

sc13 Tue 16-Aug-11 14:28:07

I do that though - it actually makes me laugh because that's exactly what I do.

lesley33 Tue 16-Aug-11 14:28:11

I agree. Went camping last summer and was woken up by a child throwing stones at my tent while a woman said something like "Sweetie thats not nice, come on sweetie please be nice, etc". It drives me mad.

biddysmama Tue 16-Aug-11 14:28:27

im more likely to say "oi!! give over!" grin

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 14:29:03

Not more irritating that the "shouting down the street" types, but definitely up there.

I do try (somewhat unsuccessfully) to not judge other people's parenting style and sometimes wonder how other people would judge mine... I'm pretty sure that if you saw a snapshot of my life you could see any number of styles and assume that is what I do all the time.

Snuppeline Tue 16-Aug-11 14:29:18

I don't say no darling etc ad nauseam so much but I do a great dressing down for minor offenses. Her father is a colonel so its only right that I should be a General in my own home. Besides it will keep the fear of her parents God in her for longer.

wink

biddysmama Tue 16-Aug-11 14:29:50

my 2 year old got a yoghurt out of the fridge earlier and told me she needed "a fucking spoon" [embarrased] not a word i use tho

HarlotOTara Tue 16-Aug-11 14:30:43

What on earth is a parenting style anyway?

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 14:31:18

shock biddysmama

At least it wasn't out in public, where we could judge you... grin

BupcakesandCunting Tue 16-Aug-11 14:31:28

I have a (lovely) friend whose husband is the most ineffectual parent EVER.

After being punched roundly in the balls twice, the husband didn't get angrier/more determined than "<kids name said in droney voice>, don't do that, it's very naughty." Then to me "HE never does as I say." Then the kid punched DH in the balls and the husband went "see what I mean?"

Take your child in hand, you drippy drip.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Tue 16-Aug-11 14:33:39

itsnearlysummer - I agree - it's best not to judge a snapshot. The time I literally dragged my screaming then-toddler son along the pavement was not my finest hour.

I also find it irritating when people say "stop that or the man will tell you off". What is wrong with you telling the child off? No wonder some DCs get ambivalent messages from their parents

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 14:33:48

For Harlot

psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

mrsshears Tue 16-Aug-11 14:35:12

I hate it when parents say "please" to a naughty child it makes me want to scream at them "erm who is in control here"!!

SpamMarie Tue 16-Aug-11 14:36:29

My friend runs a bead and craft shop. Every other day a very little kid comes in (they are very welcome) and starts chucking beads all over the shop and knocking everything over. The parent gently and desperately says, 'Mummy would like if you didn't do that dear.' At worst she'll say, 'Please stop doing that, dear.' Unsurprisingly, this has no effect on the very little kid. But she'll keep saying it over and over, rather than do anything else.

I don't know how my friend keeps her sanity. I'm glad the stock I supply is kept in a cabinet!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Tue 16-Aug-11 14:36:47

I am Perfect Authoritative

Many of my friends are Permissive. It's a middle class thing

mrsshears Tue 16-Aug-11 14:37:06

oh yes getaway i hate that too,i get that a lot in my place of work "that lady's watching you,she'll tell you off in a minute"

Ahh another sign of being middle class, ok, i am building up a guide of how to spot middle class parents now grin

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 14:40:11

I am authoritative.

passingtime Tue 16-Aug-11 14:42:04

Friends of ours little girl (age 4)told her mum to f*!k off the other day and the friend ended up saying 'oh please don't cry darling I dint't meant to upset you, oh no darling please please don't go and sit in the car, please stay in here with mummy'

WTF!!!

itisnearlysummer Tue 16-Aug-11 14:42:47

Actually, IME actually 'middle class' people are authoritative.

It's those who want the world to think that they are middle class that are permissive.

The latter want the world to see what lovely parents they are, the former have nothing to prove to anyone so do what is best for their children!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Tue 16-Aug-11 14:43:38

General - IME, middle class parents care a lot about their DCs self-esteem and self-expression. In some cases, this tips over into children "expressing themselves" by being loud, selfish and unruly.

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