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I know everyone has busy lives, but would anyone in my family like to talk to me?

(15 Posts)
bananapirate Mon 15-Aug-11 22:42:24

they live 4 hours away.
I am very miserable right now
We (they)have friends/family visiting and there has been 2 birthdays this week
I'm missing out and I feel really lost and lonely.
I know I am being unreasonable, I should pick the phone up and call them, but I'm just too miserable, very teary, marriage breakdown blah blah.

They are coming down this weekend
And we are all going on holiday next week
But I can't help the feeling that I (and ds) are missing out.
My sister has recently moved home, maybe that's it. I just feel so isolated.
they all see each other every day, my mum looks after my brothers kids, I have no childcare here. God help us if there was an emergency.

squeakytoy Mon 15-Aug-11 22:45:13

Is moving closer to home an option?

saladsandwich Mon 15-Aug-11 22:48:31

sounds like you have got a tough time on your hands at the moment, is there no way you could move nearer your family? or go up there and get a break? i know how it feels to be isolated and have no help, my mum as passed away, my dad doesn't like seeing me and ds for more than 15minutes because ds can be abit boisterous. x

Chummybud1 Mon 15-Aug-11 22:49:10

Poor you, I too live very far away from home. My mother looks after my nephew daily and helps out with my brothers kids, I know it was my choice to live here but I feel left out. My db had a party I wasn't invited, I know it because he knew I couldn't come as it was short notice but I was gutted.

Is moving home an option as it sounds like you need them.

thisisyesterday Mon 15-Aug-11 22:49:25

yes, could you move closer to them>

naught Mon 15-Aug-11 22:57:37

banana what plans have you made about looking into moving closer to home?

bananapirate Mon 15-Aug-11 23:00:12

Well, ds has just started to make a life here, friends at preschool etc.
But the main problem would be dh. I haven't even left him yet, but he would kick up the biggest fuss. I might be able to do it at some point in the future, but now it would just cause so much trouble.
We are very close to my family, I am lucky. Ds loves his cousins, he is so excited they are coming at the weekend.
I work very hard to maintain all our relationships, I think I just need then now, and I don't know how to ask.

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Aug-11 23:01:12

Hang on, what about her (soon to be ex) husband? How's he going to feel if their children are moved 4 hours away?

ImperialBlether Mon 15-Aug-11 23:01:29

And how would her children feel being 4 hours away from their dad, too?

bananapirate Mon 15-Aug-11 23:01:48

Things with dh have been so shit. I just need to feel loved, and my family do that

saladsandwich Mon 15-Aug-11 23:21:32

its a tough one, i know my ds suffers more when i am unhappy than when he doesn't see his dad (dads choice not mine) hs dad is back in his life but given my circumstances my ds would be better with happy mummy than being near dad, but it may be different for you especially if you dh is hands on

bananapirate Mon 15-Aug-11 23:21:53

Yes, imperial, as much as I am hating dh right now, He does need to have a relationship with ds, and the logistics of that would be complicated. His relationship with my family will also become quite strained I'm sure.

bananapirate Mon 15-Aug-11 23:26:15

Ha, dh is not hands on, far from it. If it was up to me I would take ds far away from his lying wanker of a father, but I do think it's unfair of me to take away that relationship.

LadyThumb Mon 15-Aug-11 23:57:42

Don't make the mistake I made, OP. Moved with XDH and DS over 4 hours away from our families (work related). 3 years later we split, but XDH bought another house locally. Then son got established at school, and a year later XDH upped sticks and moved BACK to the area we came from, leaving me with no family, no support, no nothing. Son had SN and was being schooled well, so I had to stay on my own.

notlettingthefearshow Tue 16-Aug-11 00:04:14

I wouldn't rush a move in the circumstances. Try to see lots of your family now or at least speak to them often. In time you will make friends and build a better support network locally so you won't feel so dependent on your family. Is there anyone in our family, eg your sister, who you can phone and explain how you're feeling at the moment? You sound very close to them and they obviously love you dearly. Perhaps you have been trying too hard to show them you are managing, when in fact you would love some support.

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