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To think that DP could still help out around the house when I'm on maternity leave?

(14 Posts)
Lougav Mon 15-Aug-11 22:18:43

I am 41 weeks pregnant with a 20 month DD and been on maternity leave for 3 weeks so far. We are maintaining DD routine with nursery as luckily I still recieve full pay for 6 months so she is out during the day 4 days a week. Since finishing work I have done all the housework. The washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking, etc. DP hasnt had to lift a finger which on the whole I dont mind I'm not in work and he is. We're both knackered all the time and I'm in pain and struggling to move and breathe. (unfortunately not labour pains yet!).

Is it too much to ask though that he bring a wash in when he sees it is raining, to take dry washing upstairs and put it away? To rinse a glass or a cup when all it has had in it is some juice? angry

I know if I ask him he'll do it but a month ago I never had to ask him he could think for himself.

I'm venting on here before I say something I regret as I love him and I dont think he realises. But I also wondered has anyone found that once they're on maternity leave their DP seems to think the dont have to do anything around the house anymore?

whackamole Mon 15-Aug-11 22:21:58

YANBU. He is being a complete arsehole and considering this is not your first pregnancy, so presumably knows how difficult it is to get around and do stuff when so very pregnant, he is being even more of an arse.

I'm only 30 weeks and already my OH is bending over backwards to help out.

whackamole Mon 15-Aug-11 22:22:50

And with regards to your last sentence, no, my OH was great when our boys were born (although we probably didn't do much bar look after the babies for about 6 weeks!)

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 15-Aug-11 22:23:18

YANBU... but what has happened is that you're at home, you've taken on running the house and he sees that as 'your job'. If you don't ask for help he'll keep assuming that you're happy with the arrangement. It's only been 3 weeks so now's as good a time as any to give him the 'what did your last heavily pregnant slave die of?' speech.... You really won't regret it. smile

Alibabaandthe80nappies Mon 15-Aug-11 22:26:15

YANBU, and no my DH has never been like this.

BoysRusxxx Mon 15-Aug-11 22:33:34

YADNBU, Im not pregnant and I would expect dp to do this (& im a SAHM!!). I keep the house clean during the day but once dp is home. he will unload the DW if needs be, hang out a wash etc. I leave his clean clothes in a pile at the end of his wardrobe but it is up to him to out them away!

LuceyLasstic Mon 15-Aug-11 22:34:59

so you are at home all day and farm first kid out


Lougav Tue 16-Aug-11 08:42:33

Thanks for the words of encouragment. I have to say I have calmed down this morning. He's also left me a message telling me to rest for today and not touch any of the housework.

LuceyLasstic its true at the moment I do. Nursery is already paid for, she loves going and if I drop all of the days I run a serious risk that I wont be able to get her back in when I go back to work. Plan is that once number 2 comes after all is settled I'll drop one of the days at nursery till I go back to work. Also trying to maintain her routine before all our lives get turned upside down for a bit.

At the moment though it is lovely having couple of hours in the day without DD to catch up on sleep, etc makes nursery worth every penny. Reccomend it to anyone. hehe grin

annababy Tue 16-Aug-11 08:50:09

Luceylasstic-what a completely unnecessary comment.
OP is 41 weeks pregnant ffs,why shouldnt she 'farm out' the first child.
Not that she really needs to explain it with regards to the Childs routine etc dont you think she probably needs some time to relax right now?

InTheNightKitchen Tue 16-Aug-11 09:11:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumwithdice Tue 16-Aug-11 10:44:34

Lougav, you are working. You are making a new human being. It is not an easy task.

And if you are in pain and struggling to breathe, he should be bending over backwards to help you out not making you do everything. So, no, YANBU one bit.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions Tue 16-Aug-11 11:51:07

So he's gone from doing a share of the housework to doing none, because you are at home, 41 weeks pregnant? What is his malfunction? Will he expect you to do everything right after the baby is born too? Have his arms and legs stopped working?

These couple of weeks before the baby is born are for you to rest up and take it easy, not for him to think 'wahay! No more housework for me!' and it's a very bad habit for him to get into, given that at any point from now on you could be giving birth and looking after a newborn! He should be doing at least as much as he did before, if not more.

knobbysEx Tue 16-Aug-11 11:57:40

YANBU. YABUnrealistic in my experience! grin)

TheBigJessie Tue 16-Aug-11 12:03:26

I thought employers paid maternity leave because of an acknowledgement that the woman is too pregnant/looking after a baby to be at the workplace. Not so the woman could take up a post as a housekeeper. Point this out.

You're 41 weeks?!?!!!!!

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