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AIBU to be pissed off at the picture my XMIL sent me?

(28 Posts)
StrandedBear Mon 15-Aug-11 17:32:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Claw3 Mon 15-Aug-11 17:34:39

YABU i have a big soft Labrador and i would never allow my kids to ride on his back or climb on him. Its dangerous and not fair on the poor dog either.

Claw3 Mon 15-Aug-11 17:35:09

YANBU rather i missed the 'n'

Dozer Mon 15-Aug-11 17:36:26

YANBU. Not safe or fair for dd or dog!

ragged Mon 15-Aug-11 17:36:46

I think you are being pfb, to be honest. Though I think it also sounds more unkind to the dog than dangerous to the tot.

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld Mon 15-Aug-11 17:37:02

YANBU Children should never be allowed to do that, you never know how the dog is going to react.

babybythesea Mon 15-Aug-11 17:39:05

Ooohh, I'd be angry.

I'd be angry for two reasons - the dogs discomfort/pain and her safety (in no particular order, and especially as the one might lead to compromising the other!).

It teaches your DD that it's ok to climb on the animal. Which might end up fine once if she does it without hurting him, but what if next time she really digs her fingers into his eyes as she scrambles up and it hurts him and he spins round and nips her? Perfectly understandable from his point of view but could be nasty for your DD. He needs to feel comfortable around her, knowing that she's not going to hurt him, or he will start to get edgy when she shows up and that's not good.
She needs to know that it's not ok to use a dog as a climbing frame for her own safety and his. And also because if she does this to one dog, then what happens if she's out and spots another dog and tries to do the same?

voddiekeepsmesane Mon 15-Aug-11 17:39:14

YANBU dogs ahould not be climbed on. But YABU for referring to a dog as a doggy when addressing adults smile

MoominsAreScary Mon 15-Aug-11 17:39:35

My ex pil had a 16 stone Rottweiler that ds1 used to go for rides on, he wasn't aloud to climb up by himself though would think Pulling their fur like that would realy hurt

bumpybecky Mon 15-Aug-11 17:41:38


LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 15-Aug-11 17:44:21

She's completely stupid. The gentlest dog can turn if it feels cornered or threatened. You have no control over this ridiculous woman but you can tell your DD not to do that again. It shows no respect for the dog at all.

Suggest to XMIL that DD can ride her around the room if she doesn't mind going down on all fours. hmm

zdcgbjm Mon 15-Aug-11 17:44:44


StrandedBear Mon 15-Aug-11 17:48:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenguinArmy Mon 15-Aug-11 17:48:39


DD is the same age. We are currently staying with my parents who have two gently dogs so I'm using this time to teach her how to approach them, i.e. no stroking their face only their sides, no pulling, sitting or climbing on them. She loves dogs and would go up to any dog in the street if she could and I think if she can climb on dogs she knows she wont understand the difference with stranger dogs

discrete Mon 15-Aug-11 17:51:30

Oh, I don't know. They obviously were right there and could have lifted her off if the dog showed any signs of discomfort.

Sounds like they were all just having some harmless fun. The dog obviously didn't mind, as it happened.

Sirzy Mon 15-Aug-11 17:57:10

Yanbu. I am all for children being comfy around dogs but this is to far IMO and not fair on the dog

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 15-Aug-11 17:57:12

I don't understand the tolerance for it - not you, OP - the other posters. A toddler is really quite heavy. A dog is not a horse. It isn't difficult to break their back. It's cruel and unnecessary and, should the dog bite the child, it is the dog who will suffer through no fault of its own.

People should be teaching their children to have respect for animals and that pets are not playthings. People like XMIL remind me of the clueless types you see on the news, saying that they were 'only in the other room'. Too stupid to live, really.

You're not being unreasonable, OP, I've finally answered your question. smile

BaronessBomburst Mon 15-Aug-11 17:58:29

YANBU! No way. Your xMIL is being stupid and irresponsible. I tried to climb onto a dog's back when I was 3.6 and I still have the scar on my arm to prove it. It was a Dalmation, the gentlest and most child-friendly dog around, and he lived in accommodation attached to a children's home. Fortunately I got over the incident, everyone (including the relevant authorities) agreed that the dog was not to blame, and the dog and I continued to be friends afterwards, but it could have been so different..... You need to have a strong word with your MIL, and also explain the situation to your DD if she is old enough to understand.

Claw3 Mon 15-Aug-11 18:01:14

Riding on a dogs back is not harmless fun. In fact its probably one of the most dangerous things a toddler can do to dog in respect of a dog turning on them.

babybythesea Mon 15-Aug-11 18:32:33

Discrete - yes, they were there. But supposing in her scramble, she'd pulled the dogs ear, hard, and the dog had turned and snapped. Even if you were two feet away watching, you'd be unlikely to get to the child before the dog did.
The dog probably didn't mind this time, if it just sat there, but it might mind next time and I would guarantee my reactions would be slower than the dog's.

DogsBestFriend Mon 15-Aug-11 18:41:32

YANBU - that's stupid, foolish behaviour and bloody unkind too.

A dog with GSD in him is a dog with a tendency to a sloped back and as a breed a predisposition to hip dysplasia and athiritis and cannot - shouldn't at least - be used as a fucking climbing frame. - A SMALLER than a GSD as a Collie X GSD will most likely be, certainly isn't built to withstand the weight of a toddler.

And if the dog gets hurt and snaps it won't be the stupid humans who are taken to the vets and killed, will it?

DogsBestFriend Mon 15-Aug-11 18:43:15

Pah! That second part went wrong. I meant:

"A SMALLER dog than a GSD, as a Collie X GSD will nost likely be... "

discrete Mon 15-Aug-11 19:53:18

I guess I personally am reasonably tolerant of a dog giving a child a nip in warning - both my children have been exposed to this and have come to no grievous harm from it, on the contrary, it has taught them to be more careful around dogs.

babybythesea Mon 15-Aug-11 21:06:17

I also know a child who had a warning nip from a dog. It was her own dog, and totally trustworthy. The little girl fell over the dog (child was running, didn't see dog, fell over it's foot) and the dog gave a warning nip (they know because dad saw it and says it wasn't aggressive, just startled and letting them know. The dog didn't even get up, just swung it's head round and nipped).
The child ended up in A&E with a chunk of her nose hanging by a thread. You can't now see any scars, and they kept the dog because they have no concerns that it is aggressive, and the little girl doesn't have any fears of dogs, but it might all have gone so much more badly. I just wouldn't want to take the risk, and not letting your kids deliberately climb on dogs, but teaching them to show some respect, is the first step towards keeping the dog happy and healthy and the child the same way!

NellieForbush Mon 15-Aug-11 21:11:38

ffs it's an animal, not a toy and shouldn't be treated as one. And of course your daughter should be learning to have a healthy respect for dogs.

Dog bites are notoriously dirty and can easily end up infected. Some lessons don't need to be learned the hard way.

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