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Not smacking children = Lawless rioters

(45 Posts)
cherryburton Mon 15-Aug-11 10:12:49

Saw this doing the rounds of FB this morning:

"I have to laugh at people who are against smacking. My parents smacked me when I was naughty.. . I didn't hate them.. I didn't have trust issues with them because of it... I didn't fear them... But I damn sure respected them! And I learned what my boundaries were, and knew what would happen if I… broke them. I wasn't abused - I was disciplined....SINCE WE TOOK THIS SOFT APPROACH LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR COUNTRY & YOUNGSTERS *Re-post if you got your arse smacked and survived!!"

and I actually had to reply to it. What a load of bollocks, I'm guessing the people out looting last week weren't the children of liberal non-smacking lefties, I'd hazard a guess they were all from homes where good hidings get dished out.

AIBU to think that smacking is nothing to do with the state of "OUR COUNTRY & YOUNGSTERS?" hmm

Kayano Mon 15-Aug-11 10:16:22

Well I'm going to smack mine when they arrive if other forms of discipline don't work :S

Kladdkaka Mon 15-Aug-11 10:20:23

Smacking is illegal here and we don't have kids rioting and looting so perhaps the opposite is true.hmm

TartyMcFarty Mon 15-Aug-11 10:20:42

Hear hear OP. I hate those smug statuses about how much more effective and 'real' our upbringings were pre-1990.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 15-Aug-11 10:20:48

You're right it's a load of bollocks. But I don't think it's fair to say that all those traipsing through the courts this past week have been you know, from deprived areas. seems there has been a fair share from "nicer" middle class families too.

FWIW, I hate those stupid "if you're a decent human being you'll repost this status or your whole family will die of cancer" status updates and tend to ignore them.

BertieBotts Mon 15-Aug-11 10:23:45

Oh well, I read one the other day which said "I bet the rioters weren't breastfed and attachment-parented!!"

Okay I breastfeed and attachment-parent (to borrow the term), but I still thought that was a load of bollocks and utterly smug and twee.

Kayano Mon 15-Aug-11 10:24:41

Shocked at the breastfeeding one! My god!

smoggii Mon 15-Aug-11 10:28:08

I wasn't smacked and I'm loving my new flat screen TV, trainers, stolen shorts (i got these off someone else!) and large bags of value rice which I looted last week grin

worldgonecrazy Mon 15-Aug-11 10:30:16

May the Gods save us from stupid Facebook updates. I suspect the breastfeeding one was supposed to be a bit tongue-in-cheek but failed.

Whatmeworry Mon 15-Aug-11 10:31:52

I'd smack mine if he didn't hand over the 42" Telly grin

cherryburton Mon 15-Aug-11 10:50:32

I wouldn't necessarily equate deprived areas with smacking - I came from a "nice middle class" home and got hit a lot.

BertieBotts Mon 15-Aug-11 10:55:46

Well, you know what we're all doing wrong. We're all coasting along somewhere in the middle, damnit, should have chosen one of those "extreme" parenting methods, that'll sort them out.

I swear the breastfeeding one was totally serious. It was so earnest.

I would associate smacking with deprived areas now - possibly not 20 or so years ago, when it was more accepted. But TBH it's not about smacking vs not smacking, but clear and consistent discipline vs whack them constantly because you know no better (massive generalisation, of course, I'm aware that not all families in deprived areas operate like this, and that it happens regardless of class)

muminthemiddle Mon 15-Aug-11 11:03:45

I don't think it has to do with smacking but a lot to do with stable, loving, consistent and firm parenting.
Btw I went to schools where physical punishment was routine. I was bloody scared of a lot of teachers and even though it was a rough area nobody disrespected authority figures too often.

pigletmania Mon 15-Aug-11 11:05:02

I do agree with the smacking status, not regarding the riots, but yes because I was smacked by my parents and don't see that I was abused, I felt I deserved it. I love my parents, and miss my dad so much, he died of cancer when I was 10. I loved my childhood, and despite the occasional smack I felt loved and secure. Yes I agree with the bygone childhood status shhh those were the days.

pigletmania Mon 15-Aug-11 11:07:34

Meant ahhhh those were the days.my heart goes out to the children who don't have loving parents whose home is not a sanctuary and refuge but one of fear

psiloveyou Mon 15-Aug-11 11:09:27

I was smacked/hit at home and school. It didn't harm me because I also knew I was loved.
However, I don't need to smack my dc I find "the look" much more effective and that's not illegal yet grin

pozzled Mon 15-Aug-11 11:09:29

YANBU. It's bollocks to think that people who are smacked don't/didn't riot and loot.

Now, if the status update were about children who had never been told 'No' or disciplined consistently and fairly, I'd be more inclined to agree.

FreudianSlipper Mon 15-Aug-11 11:10:41

of course a clip round the ear would solve everything

what utter tosh. i would hate for ds to fear me especially fear physical punishment what message is that giving to a child

electra Mon 15-Aug-11 11:20:55

yanbu - if anything smacking encourages violence in people who were disciplined that way imo. That's why children end up hitting their siblings.

didyouseewhatshedid Mon 15-Aug-11 11:31:18

Okay, smacking is bad, bringing back the birch to appease the DM crowd would also be bad. But...is there a middle ground here? Somewhere in between what the nutcases at the DM are calling for on the one hand and the softy, lefty, woolly liberal shite that has been peddled for the past two decades on the other? Basically, a return to the days when kids did have some sense of respect for older people (a time even myself only in my 30s can remember)?

cherryburton Mon 15-Aug-11 12:05:04

I didn't respect my parents for hitting me, I was shit scared of them but I wouldn't say that this has been a good thing and we have virtually no relationship now, but then I didn't feel loved either.

I don't think it's all down to the parents, there's clearly a whole load of other socio-economic factors at play with the rioters which probably accounts for about 50% of it...

minipie Mon 15-Aug-11 12:07:30

"Now, if the status update were about children who had never been told 'No' or disciplined consistently and fairly, I'd be more inclined to agree."

^^ this.

Meglet Mon 15-Aug-11 12:10:18

I bet a lot of those kids rioting were walloped on a regular basis.

I was smacked sometimes, but my parents were sensible, caring and drummed right v's wrong into me. Very different to what some of those kids have grown up with.

Bollocks, the most 'lawless' family I know of got battered if they so much as looked the wrong way.

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 15-Aug-11 12:16:57

Ah respect...

The problem with respect is that it needs to be earned. This works both ways. The "authorities" are not respected as much as they once were because they have been shown, in many cases, to be morally bankrupt themselves; parents who smack their children are, I would think, more likely to be feared than respected (and are teaching their children that the answer is violence); and young people are often not respected as they do not behave in a way that invites respect in the first place. IMO.

If it were even true that most of those rioting came from homes evidencing poor parenting, I'd suggest they would be more likely to have been smacked than not...

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