done to death I know but I need some perspective on this. Since the birth of my ds nearly 7 months ago pretty much everything my pils have said and done has upset me. I blamed the hormones at first but now I'm not so sure, and I don't know if dh or I should say something about it.
Basically, they disapprove of a lot of our parenting decisions. They don't come out with it explicitly but make barbed comments and disapproving tuts. They don't agree with waiting til 6 months to wean, the fact that ds slept in our room for 6 months (they would freak if they knew we occasionally. Co - sleep), the fact that he wasn't in a strict 4 hr feeding routine since birth. The night we came home from hospital they were staying at out house and ds was crying, and mil came into our room and took him and tried to settle him. I have never quite got over this, and every time they have stayed since I barely sleep thinking she will come in at the slightest peep. Pre ds we used to go and stay at theirs a lot but have not stayed overnight since he was born as I just thought it would be too stressful. We have however stayed at my parents, friends, various hotels etc, so I think pils were getting a bit miffed about it. So this weekend we stayed, but I just found it such a tense and horrible time. I constantly worry that they are judging and criticising my parenting, as they are quite judgemental generally. This weekend they were moaning about the fact that he does not sleep through the night as it means they can't have him overnight. Mil was going on about how he should be cutting down the breastfeeds as he is weaned - he is on 3 meals plus 4 bfs a day which she thinks is far too much. She also told me I need to think about weaning him off the bf as I am going back to work in 4 months time . Any time I tell them about advice I have received from the gp or hv they greet it with scorn and derision. Today I told them about the hv telling me not to give ds tea or coffee, in a kind of 'as if I would do this' sort of way, and they thought it was ludicrous as it never did their kids any harm - completely misjudged that one! I then had to explain the iron absorption thing and they just looked at me as if I am some kind of humourless harpy. Ditto the botulism risk with honey.
I think the problem is they just think I am blindly accepting the guidelines and don't have a mind of my own, when in fact I have made informed decisions about all of these issues. I have read about 5 books about bf and weaning recently, but they still think they know better than me or any hcp.
I think the problem is really I am annoyed with myself for not having the confidence to ignore them and trust my own parenting decisions. Do you think I should say something? My mum is the same age as them but she accepts that guidelines have changed and we need to do it our way. I am feeling so crap about this, aibu? Any advice?
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Pil woes
58 replies
Moulesfrites · 14/08/2011 17:28
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MadamDeathstare ·
14/08/2011 18:10
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Adversecamber ·
14/08/2011 19:08
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