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to think that allowing your 11 year old to have a FB account is irresponsible?

(24 Posts)
babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 22:51:53

and then when the little darling gets bullied by a friend on FB, to then bully the other child back?

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Aug-11 22:55:00

Does sound a bit irresponsible.

What did they say to bully the other child back?

Memoo Sat 13-Aug-11 22:55:48

Not enough info, you need to elaborate.

LynetteScavo Sat 13-Aug-11 22:56:47

Well, yes.

But I can totally understand how it happens.

Ephiny Sat 13-Aug-11 22:56:59

Yes, especially as they would have had to lie about their date of birth to get an account in the first place. About the other bit - I don't know, depends what you mean by 'bullying' but doesn't sound a very helpful strategy in general!

mummymeister Sat 13-Aug-11 22:57:58

Not only irresponsible it is contrary to facebook rules. This child is under age and you should report her to facebook so she can be taken off of it. the age limits are there for a reason - to protect kids who cant protect themselves because they arent mature enough. cannot understand why parents allow their kids to lie to get onto FB - you have to give a d.o.b when you sign up and therefore this child has lied about hers. hate it personally ( you can probably tell that from my reply grin

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:01:44

well basically this womans 11 year old has a friend that she fell out with, and now this friend has been trying to get her into troubleby making up rumours on facebook.

The woman has facebooked the childs mother and informed her of whats going on, and the mother said she would deal with it, how ever said child is away atm so the whole thing is carrying on.

Instead of blocking her from her 11 year olds account my 'friend' has joined in the conversation on FB between the two girls, and is now, making horrible comments about her intellect, looks etc.

I just felt that A) theres a reason FB dont allow accounts for under 13's and B) that my 'friend' really is picking on this mere child, rather than just blocking her and letting the mother deal with it.

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:02:50

Have done mummy meister - worse than that, I could see the whole conversation on her daughters page, so its not even secure :-(

TalkinPeace2 Sat 13-Aug-11 23:03:22

half the 11 year olds in the country are on FB

how deeply childish of the parents to get involved

I almost never comment on my kids stuff - far too mindless!

zukiecat Sat 13-Aug-11 23:04:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:04:58

doesnt make it a responsible thing to allow your kids to do though talkin peace :-/ My daughter is 8 and I just cannot imagine allowing her to do that at all :-(

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:06:45

Zukie cat, if you click on the childs name theres a button that says report/block, it should come up regardless of the security level. YOu have to put it as someone faking an account, as there isnt a box for lied about age!

effingwotnots Sat 13-Aug-11 23:07:43

And if she was 13, none of this would be happening of course hmm

bruffin Sat 13-Aug-11 23:12:22

The reason for the age of 13 is nothing to do with suitability, its to with federal laws concerning storing information about under 13s.

zukiecat Sat 13-Aug-11 23:13:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:17:00

ill let you know zukie! As far as I know, no! but Ill find out in the next few days I guess!

yes we know that bruffin, IMO it should be adults only, theres not a cat in hells chance my kids will be allowed on until I think they are sensible enough, because I believe thats the responsible way. At 11 theres no way a child is mature enough.

zukiecat Sat 13-Aug-11 23:21:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babeinthewood Sat 13-Aug-11 23:25:16

well this is the culture now isnt it! Im all for an open mind to different styles of parenting, but there are somethings that are just obviously wrong IMO :-(

zukiecat Sun 14-Aug-11 13:58:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A1980 Sun 14-Aug-11 22:03:15

YANBU. it's downright stupid. Particularly when these children see eachother all the time anyway. How much time do they need together.

I'm on the verge of saying something to a friedn of mine. She has allowed her 10 yo DD to have a FB account and has added her a friend so she can monitor her. But my friend talks constantly about her marital problems and issues on her wall. I want to ask her if she has limited her DD's access to her wall, but tbh i don't think she has.

babeinthewood Sun 14-Aug-11 22:26:12

a friend of mine has a 14 and 16 year old, they are allowed FB accounts on the proviso that she has the passwords. She doesnt check them unless she thinks she really needs to as she doesnt want to invade their privacy, equally though she wants to make sure they are staying safe and if she is ever worried she knows she can check it. I probably wouldnt want my kids as friends on FB Im a grown up with grown up friends IYSWIM but I think Id want to have the passwords just incase they were out a bit too long one day and I was worried or something, you know?

sunnydelight Mon 15-Aug-11 00:15:15

Our school has basically threatened to expel any student under 13 found to have a FB account. Any parent of an U13 with a FB account is being called in to see the Head on the basis that they have condoned illegal activity by allowing their child to lie about their age. Might seem a bit OTT but there was a bullying issue with some kids in Y5 and I guess it's one pretty effective way of dealing with it. (Private school in Australia btw before people say "they can't do that" -actually they can!).

sheepgomeep Mon 15-Aug-11 00:45:17

blimey I can imagine that happening in my dcs school. There would be about 15 pupils left in the whole of the juniors if they adopted that tactic grin

ravenAK Mon 15-Aug-11 03:58:27

Oh gawd, I really shouldn't get drawn into these threads...

FB is fine for younger children if their account is monitored - ds has had an account since the age of 5, & uses it to chat to his uncle, his godmother, & to watch videos of dh's band.

I have his password & log in to his account every so often to check all is well. Our main ground rule is that he doesn't accept friend requests unless he checks with me first.

I teach secondary school children, & it's a very rare 11 year old who is so lacking in ICT knowledge that they can't set up a FB account - it's a 5 minute job, requiring no checks on their identity - VERY many of the year 7 kids I teach have the account mum knows about, & the one she doesn't.

The mum in the OP who's getting stuck into a row between two 11-year-olds could usefully ask herself what on earth she thinks she's doing; her time would be better spent teaching her dd how to deal with online bullying.

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