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Excommumication

(9 Posts)
GrownUpNow Sat 13-Aug-11 16:47:17

AIBU to expect my ex-partner to talk to me about issues regarding our son and not his GF?

I like to maintain as friendly a relationship I can as possible with both, and even try to be social with them, go to BBQs and have a drink, chatty sort of thing. However this seems to have be mis-read or ignored and she has overbearingly taken over a lot of the communication. I don't mind talking about what our son got up to with her or general chitchat, but for example, she asked me the other day for money for the weeks in the summer holidays that they have our DS because they are in a difficult financial situation without even mentioning it to exP.

itisnearlysummer Sat 13-Aug-11 16:51:14

YANBU.

She's overstepped a boundary, but maybe things are so amicable that she doesn't see it.

However, if she has concerns that they can't afford something and need to ask for extra money, then she should be addressing it with your ex first so that he can talk to you. It's not her place. But then that's just what I'd do/expect.

pickgo Sat 13-Aug-11 16:54:18

I thought you were going to be a lapsed Catholic who'd been chucked from the church! grin

GrownUpNow Sat 13-Aug-11 16:57:52

There are definitely some things that I definitely do not want to discuss with her at all as I feel them inappropriate. I wouldn't get my partner to approach my exP to ask for more money, I know that for sure. I don't think she should have anything to do with child maintenance at all, that's an issue between me and his father.

I do take into account her opinion on access to DS but ultimately that is for final discussion between me and exP too.

I do make efforts to make this obvious. Contacting him via email or texting him, and I end up getting messages back from her. So I know I will have to make a point of saying now.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Aug-11 16:58:30

I was wondering what you'd done to offend the Catholic church so much as well grin

GrownUpNow Sat 13-Aug-11 16:59:52

LOL. I was playing with words in the attempt at a witty title.

pickgo Sun 14-Aug-11 11:42:05

Good luck with talking to them OP. You sound like you've got an admirable relationship there with X n his GF which must be to your DCs benefit. Well done! - be careful not to jeopardize it!

FabbyChic Sun 14-Aug-11 12:22:40

It costs mere peanuts to feed a child. Why can they not afford to provide food? I certainly would not give my ex money for having his own son during the holidays.

Migsy1 Sun 14-Aug-11 12:30:11

I think the request for money should have come from your ex p. You seem to have a good relationship with your ex and his GF but I can understand that you are irritated by her being over-involved with business that is between you and your ex. Personally, I would just quietly mention it to your ex that you would prefer to discuss such issues from him and receive emails from him, but you really appreciate the interest she shows in your son etc.
Good luck. It would get on my nerves too.

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