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to think my friend is ridiculous..

(20 Posts)
biddysmama Fri 12-Aug-11 23:34:25

she told me men dont always go out looking to cheat,it just happens,especially if its offered on a plate and it can happen to anyone so she doesnt give her husband the chance confused

i dont think having sex with someone 'just happens' i manage to go out many a time without having sex with anyone?

FabbyChic Fri 12-Aug-11 23:39:24

I think people are either inherently unfaithful or they are not. It depends on their sense of loyalty, most would not wish to lose what they have so wouldn't risk it.

Those that do risk it obviously do not want it enough.

Spuddybean Fri 12-Aug-11 23:39:46

how does she not give her husband the chance? is he not allowed out?

Smellslikecatpee Fri 12-Aug-11 23:41:44

What a sad view to have of life/people

biddysmama Fri 12-Aug-11 23:41:59

she keeps track of him, he works and comes home and thats about it,mine goes off on scotter rallys and weekends/nights out with his brothers where he might accidentaly impale a woman on his penis or something grin

thisisyesterday Fri 12-Aug-11 23:42:25

oh it happens to me all the time.... why, just this evening i was walking around sainsburys, not looking where i'm going and i bump into this chap... right onto his penis! next thing you know, well, i won't elaborate, but we were in the cheese aisle

i ought to shop in waitrose, i bet this kind of thing doesn't happen there.

MadamDeathstare Fri 12-Aug-11 23:42:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Fri 12-Aug-11 23:43:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biddysmama Fri 12-Aug-11 23:44:55

i have to admit its happened in bed a few times, i roll over and omg a penis..... said penis always belongs to my husband sadly never david tennant

thisisyesterday Fri 12-Aug-11 23:45:35

yes, what if she accidentally has sex with someone? or does her husband not give her the chance either?

worraliberty Fri 12-Aug-11 23:47:45

Perhaps she should force him to wear a Bhurka? hmm

Smellslikecatpee Fri 12-Aug-11 23:50:42

thisisyesterday: oh it happens to me all the time.... why, just this evening i was walking around sainsburys, not looking where i'm going and i bump into this chap... right onto his penis! next thing you know, well, i won't elaborate, but we were in the cheese aisle

Snort snigger Snort. . . . in the CHEESE aisle........

grin

Spuddybean Fri 12-Aug-11 23:54:50

perhaps he's just ultra polite and thinks it would be rude not to.

tigana Fri 12-Aug-11 23:55:57

my theory is that if you keep your partner on a short leash it is more likely to break.... thus sending said partner flying through air and increasing chance of unintentional insertions.

MadamDeathstare Sat 13-Aug-11 00:09:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BagofHolly Sat 13-Aug-11 00:22:10

I think men who cheat often have fathers who were unfaithful, so it becomes minimalised into something a bit naughty that their dads also did. And opportunity. I think the combination of the two, plus a but of charm, is lethal.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 13-Aug-11 04:24:50

I'm not convinced that humans are biologically programmed to mate for life hmm

Be that as it may, other than following a random sample of married males up and down the cheese aisles of the world, one method of testing a male's propensity for fidelity would be to tie him to his wife's apron strings for a given period and then set him free for an equal length of time.

<<considers whether the subject male's blood should be tested for redness prior to commencement of experiment>>

catgirl1976 Sat 13-Aug-11 06:17:02

I don't think people often deliberately set out to be unfaithful, but at the same time I don't think it "just happens" either. I think it is ususally a combination of factors - relationship problems which lead to lower self esteem, lack of communication, need to bolster ego or wanting to prove they are still attractive - coupled with meeting someone who is "up for it" and snowballing from there (with or without drink being involved but often with).

Its a cliche but its a symptom not a cause. I do think your friend is being ridcuolous though. I have been out unescorted on many occasions on not managed to trip and fall on a penis, and likewise my DH has managed to avoid women accidentally landing on his smile

Whilst no one is immune to things like this happening in a relationship, its the strength, communication and happiness within the relationship that will stop cheating (mainly) - not the shortness of the leash. To be honest I think a man or woman kept under such control is maybe more likely to cheat, just to try and re-assert their own sense of identity or freedom.

Davida Sat 13-Aug-11 06:56:44

I'm not sure. I think the attitude that he will stray if she doesn't keep really close tabs on him is sad.

I don't think it's within her control.

I agree that it can happen very easily but not to anyone in any situation. Some people make a commitment and they stand by it, even if they feel tempted, somehow they override this with a conscious effort to sustain their love and loyalty to their chosen partner. I admire them and I like the way they can do that.
Good people.
Many of us however might find it harder to sustain that sort of devotion, particularly if we are unhappy in ourselves, and thus begin to form close bonds with anyone who appears to offer this connection. We might be in an unhappier relationship to begin with, because we've been desperate for love and taken on a relationship we might not have particularly wanted, therefore it is liable to lack something we need.

If you start out positive, meet someone who is absolutely lovely and good for you, and stay with them, you're less likely to stray than someone who starts out fairly negative about what they deserve, finds someone who meets some but not all of their needs, and later on encounters another person who might fill in the gaps.

The trick is perhaps not to make a long term commitment to someone you're not sure fulfills many of your needs.

exoticfruits Sat 13-Aug-11 07:24:11

I don't think that it is within her control either. I wouldn't cheat, whatever the temptation, loyalty comes first, and lots of people are like that.

mine goes off on scotter rallys and weekends/nights out with his brothers where he might accidentaly impale a woman on his penis or something

I think this is one of those wonderful MN lines-it made me laugh!

Trust is important-I should carry on as you are. There will be nothing accidental about it-if your friend's DH wants to , he will find a way.

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