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to be upset by a friends comment?

(14 Posts)
emmam25 Wed 10-Aug-11 22:05:28

I am 23 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have had a lot of complications at the start (in hospital under observation for a week).
Today I met up with friends from work and one who has just had her first baby 6 months ago proceeded out of the blue to tell a story about a friend who lost her baby at 26 weeks and then turned to me and said "how far along are you?" It has preyed on my mind ever since and I am now starting to think it was quite a cruel, thoughtless thing to say. AIBU to be upset by this?

acatcalledfelix Wed 10-Aug-11 22:08:18

This was really insensitive and I hope she realised how silly it was to tell you this right now. Sometimes people don't think, I've been guilty of it myself in the past, and she may now be sitting at home thinking "why was I so stupid?"!


AgentZigzag Wed 10-Aug-11 22:08:57

I think she was being thoughtless and didn't connect the two.

The alternative is that she was insinuating you still had time to lose your baby, which would be completely unlikely.

Blame it on your baby brain, I did quite a lot smile

griphook Wed 10-Aug-11 22:09:41

no yanbu, particulary as you have had problems, but it was maybe a case of mouh before brain, so don't be too hard on her. hope things get better for the rest of your pg

AgentZigzag Wed 10-Aug-11 22:09:41

'I've been guilty of it myself in the past'

And me blush and <<cringe>>

sunshinelifeisgood Wed 10-Aug-11 22:10:08

She was being insensitive but probably did not mean to. smile

nightowlmostly Wed 10-Aug-11 22:11:33

YANBU but I bet, unless she is a bitch usually, she was just thoughtless rather than anything else.

I ended up saying something about things going wrong after the birth to a man whose wife is expecting and feel terrible, I just failed to engage my brain. Did change the subject pretty quickly though!

People say these things all the time, try and not hold it against her if you truly feel she is otherwise a good friend.

LineRunner Wed 10-Aug-11 22:15:05

Is she normally vile?

If not, it was just a stupid mistake. Very stupid.

Limejelly Wed 10-Aug-11 22:18:35

I'm the Queen of foot-in-mouth cringe moments. I once told my friend she looked nice "really girly, you don't usually look girly"! It was meant to be a compliment, honest blush

I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you.

emmam25 Wed 10-Aug-11 22:19:41

she is not normally nasty but does seem to have had a bit of an attitude towards me since I fell pregnant. I am starting to suspect it is down to the fact that she is quite a bit older than me and had a lot of difficulty in getting pregnant where as I fell pregnant really quickly. I am glad other people can see how I might be upset!

Itsalljustabitweird Wed 10-Aug-11 22:21:26

My DH once told me that he didn't really go for beautiful women. Thanks then confused

Sometimes people say the wrong thing.

youarekidding Wed 10-Aug-11 22:21:28

Sounds more like 'just another pregnancy story', everyone has one, and be grateful its not the labour ones yet grin I mean as in just a story, no intention meant by it and I don't think it was done to upset you.

And here's another story that will cheer you up. My cousins DC was born at 23 weeks and is 1yo next week. grin (just to show you it isn't all bad)

congratulations, Best of luck with your pregnancy, and for the future.

LolaRennt Wed 10-Aug-11 22:25:10

If it came form somoeone who hadn't just had a baby I woudl be very upset. But I suspect she still feels "in the club" and can talk about the scary stuff etc even though you are thinking, she is safe now

honeyandsalt Wed 10-Aug-11 22:33:24

YANBU it was thoughtless at the very least.

If she was deliberately trying to frighten you it's pretty vile, but it would seem just jealousy and bitterness at the root so take no notice.

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