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to not lend it to her

(43 Posts)
audreyroberts Wed 10-Aug-11 20:55:13

I was recently a bridemaid at a friends wedding and she had lovley dress made , v expensive and ideal to wear for many occasons. I think just my dress cost about £700. Anyway sil has called and said 'you dont by any chance have a dress i could lend for suchabodies party. She KNEW full well i have this designer dress.I really do not want to lend it to her so i i said' i dont think i have anything' and she said 'oh i have just rememeber you have claire's bridesmaid dress, could i try that'. She is not going to let it go without me seeming mean. BTw she is loaded and could easily aford a new dress. I have much less money and want to keep this dress nice to wear for my own occasions- i am not sure sil would look after it.

Imnotaslimjim Wed 10-Aug-11 20:56:30

Remember, NO is a full sentence on its own

Just reiterate that you don't have anything suitable

cjbartlett Wed 10-Aug-11 20:57:14

Just say no

What do you think will happen to it though? Presumably it can be washed/ dry cleaned?

Earlybird Wed 10-Aug-11 20:57:27

Are you the same size?
Does she loan you clothes, or other things?

Sirzy Wed 10-Aug-11 20:59:49

If you dont want to then say no!! If she wont take no tell her its being cleaned/repaired or something.

That said if I had a good relationship with her I would have no qualms letting her borrow it TBH. Dresses like that are so expensive for them to sit in a wardrobe and hardly be worn

effingwotnots Wed 10-Aug-11 21:01:00

Yanbu! I wouldn't like the idea either.

EdithWeston Wed 10-Aug-11 21:02:45

She wants to lend the dress? Who to?

I think expecting you let her lend the dress to some random third person is a bit much. Perhaps you should just suggest that she lends one of hers?

thisisyesterday Wed 10-Aug-11 21:03:55

just say no, i';m really sorry I don't want to lend it to anyone in case something happens to it.

don't imply that you think she will ruin it, but accidents do happen... someone else could spill something all over it etc etc

audreyroberts Wed 10-Aug-11 21:04:20

No not same size she is smaller than me- i am a 12 she is a 10 - so will probably fit her ok. I think she may spill something on it - she likes a drink, not that thst is a fault, i do too- but ifanyone is spilling anything on my dress that was much more expensive than my own wedding dress I want it to be me. Also yesit can be cleaned but i dont think things are ever the same after cleaning.

DontGoCurly Wed 10-Aug-11 21:04:25

Say no. She is likely just chancing her arm..

I had a parasite friend who asked me for a loan of my brand new coat which I had never even worn myself. I said no. She was notorious for 'borrowing' things and never giving them back. So didn't feel one bit bad.

Remember these cheeky people are thick skinned enough to ask they should be thick skinned enough to accept NO for an answer.

No other reason than 'I don't want to'

candr Wed 10-Aug-11 21:04:55

Don't do it, I lent a friend a very precious dress (my now dead grannie bought it from Aus for me) and she stretched it out of shape and it was dirty, I asked her to dry clean it and she moved house without returning it and left no address, she found me a few years later on FB and the cheeky cow is wearing it in her profile pic.

Muckyhighchair Wed 10-Aug-11 21:05:01

Say the brides got it for cleaning, and you havnt got it back yet

pigletmania Wed 10-Aug-11 21:05:29

Just say no, I e bayed it for cash

Earlybird Wed 10-Aug-11 21:06:56

Just tell her no. Say that it is your favourite precious thing, and you couldn't stand it if something happened to it, so best not to take the chance.

KAZAMM Wed 10-Aug-11 21:07:13

bear in mind if you do lend her it and she does get spill something on it then it might not come out. Then It's ruined for you.

You don't have to lend her it if you don't feel comfortable about it.

Doha Wed 10-Aug-11 21:07:49

Just say no !

hairfullofsnakes Wed 10-Aug-11 21:11:25

Say NO and that is that. Don't feel bad, don't explain, just say no. Please don't lend it her, you'll regret it!

superjobee Wed 10-Aug-11 21:11:48

god no!! tell her to eff off the cheeky mare!!

emsyj Wed 10-Aug-11 21:15:00

If you think she might ruin it then be truthful - 'sorry, I don't want to lend it to you because I don't trust you to look after it and I have so few lovely things I want to keep it nice for myself'. Then smile and change the subject.

Can't argue with that.

FWIW, I have refused to lend to one friend who breaks everything she comes in contact with. I told her why, in a simple and straightforward way. She was fine about it and understood.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Wed 10-Aug-11 21:20:28

When your sil asked to try your dress on what did you say?

MrsBloomingTroll Wed 10-Aug-11 21:30:26

Don't do it! I loaned my maternity clothes to a relative after DC1 was born and they came back in a right state. Those that came back at all.

Had to shell out for new maternity clothes with DC2. She's not getting them this time. A friend also presumed she could borrow them from me and there is just no way....I'm going to sell what I can on eBay. She can have anything left after that.

bubblesincoffee Wed 10-Aug-11 21:34:25

Just tell her that it's special to you and you don't want to lend it to anyone. That is perfectly acceptable.

If she pushes you, you need to repeat yourself and then tell her that you would prefer not to be asked again.

purplepidjin Wed 10-Aug-11 21:40:36

If I read it right, the bride paid for the dress.

Therefore the dress is the property of the bride, not you.

Ergo, the bride has had her dress back now wink wink wink

Hide the dress at a mate's for a few days.

Or, get some fake dog shit/puke from the joke shop and put it on the dress just before bitch SIL comes round to rampage through inspect your wardrobe...

smoggii Wed 10-Aug-11 21:42:08

Tell her you have occasions you wish to wear it to over the next few weeks so sorry but you need it but 'coast' has some lovely things in the sale...

PinkFondantFancy Wed 10-Aug-11 21:47:28

Tell her no - I think it's cheeky of her to ask! It's not going to do your relationship with her any favours if she damages it and it can't be fixed.

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