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to not want to go this party

(16 Posts)
gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 20:00:12

SIL's aunt's 50th anniversary party in a few weeks and i've been invited. Bro and sil are coming down from melbourne to attend. I kind of know the aunt, went to see her years back when she passed through uk, and after she moved here spoken to a few times on the phone but she never called me that i recall. My mom has know this aunt (and sil's mom) for 30 something years - but bro and i didnt know them till bro started going out with sil. And that too i dont really know them. Also, my dad passed away earlier this year and this aunt didnt call me at all, although she called my mom and ofcourse my bro.

I am invited to party but dont want to go because i dont know them.My bro thinks i should go.

AgentZigzag Wed 10-Aug-11 20:01:59

Could it be a good time to get to know them?

Especially if there are people you'll know who'll be going?

Portofino Wed 10-Aug-11 20:03:19

Would it put you out big time? I would always go to a family party. You never know who you might meet. It might be fun?

AurraSing Wed 10-Aug-11 20:03:19

Of course you don't have to go. Just send her a note to say thanks but you can't make it.

bubblesincoffee Wed 10-Aug-11 20:03:22

If you don't want to go then don't. Nobody wants a party guest that is only there out of obligation.

But if there will be other people there that you know and will enjoy being with, then you shouldn't not go just because you're not close to the person the party is for.

TubbyDuffs Wed 10-Aug-11 20:03:51

I would go if there were people there that I knew and could have a good time with them anyway.

Hell, I'll do anything for a night out!

gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 20:08:01

I wouldnt really know anyone apart from bro and sil. Sil's sisters (i dont really know) and mom (i kinda know) are coming too - but there is history of bad blood which sprung up between them and my parents since's bro and sil started going out and wedding.....and some after. these are just about repairing. I've not been involved btw.

I am peeved they didnt bother to call when dad passed but now want me at their party. sil's sisters didnt contact me either....

squeakytoy Wed 10-Aug-11 20:08:19

I think your reasons for not wanting to go sound quite churlish and petty I am afraid.

There will be lots of other family there too.

bubblesincoffee Wed 10-Aug-11 20:13:08

Why do you think they should have called you when your Dad died? The fact that they called your Mum is more than enough, she is the one who was left widowed after all.

I'm shocked that you would expect phoncalls from your in laws family because your Dad died. I didn't get that many calls when my Dad died, granted I was only 15, but I've never even thought about it, let alone held it against people. You are expecting too much, we all lose parents at some point.

gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 20:14:46

thanks for help ladies. lol tubby.

squeakytoy....should i not feel annoyed that people dont call me when i've lost my dad. why is that petty and churlish?

gailpottertilsleyplatt Wed 10-Aug-11 20:15:09

Go and enjoy yourself (as my mum would have said).

gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 20:17:26

bubbles, i didnt really think about fact they didnt call......till they invited me to a family party. if you consider me family then.... makes me wonder if they only inviting me because my bro is coming

squeakytoy Wed 10-Aug-11 20:17:39

Not specifically the phonecall, just your post in general. Although when my Dad died, relatives phoned my Mum, nobody rang me, and I didnt really expect them to.

smoggii Wed 10-Aug-11 20:17:55

It's a party, why wouldn't you want to go. Buy some bath salts and a card, go, eat cake, drink booze, have fun, come home...done.

gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 20:45:22

ok squakeytoy. you know i've wondered if i have issues.... may be i do. i've got 'issues' with 2 of my own cousins.

one because 7-8 years ago he said i can come to england for uni and stay with him and family cos i dindnt want to go to uk uni as cost of living was high. i came over for a month to check out unis and at end of trip he said i cant stay afterall cos his wife didnt want it long-term. the wife's problem is perfectly understandable. i was annoyed that he invited me and for the 6 months between that and my coming over to check out unis he didnt tell me there might be a problem.

btw, i am asian and grew up in an extended family so staying with cousin for a year is considered ok.

another one because he convinced me to move in with him and his wife so that my dad 'isnt wasting money on your rent', stopped me from getting my place when i was in a temp job cos 'that may not last' and said i could stay and move with him as he was looking for a new house....but when he got the new house and started renovating old place said i stay with him cos he used room i was in to store stuff! and then....insists on speaking in native lingo when my hubby is around - to ppl who generally speak english and he's a professional good english as well. so much so that his mother asked him to speak in english.

am i being silly with these things too....i feel like a weirdo now

gottatalk Wed 10-Aug-11 21:00:00

am i?

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