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To not go to this lunch because the venue has changed?

(11 Posts)
MajorB Wed 10-Aug-11 13:32:40

Months ago I was asked to "hold the date" for a lunch with friends of ours (& their family and other friends) to celebrate their pfb's birthday. I said that we'd love to come, and genuinely meant it, they're lovely people and we enjoy their company.

A week or so ago an email came round with all the lunch details on, where and when etc. but the venue has (for good reason) changed. This change means that rather than it being an hour drive each way for a 2 hour lunch, it's more likely to be a 4 hour return trip (2 hrs each way).

The idea of two hours in a hot car with my two dc (both under 4yrs) to then try and contain their energy for a further 2 hour lunch and then another 2 hour return journey just didn't seem worth it (though usually I'm one of those who would always make the effort) so I've apologised, explained why we won't be going and said let's meet up at another time instead.

Now I'm feeling a complete cow and am wondering if I've done the right thing? So MN jury, AIBU to blow this lunch out because I think it's going to be stressful and not-much-fun-at-all??

Oh, and just so i'm not stealth posting, the new venue is in a location that doesn't have much nearby in the way of kids entertainment, so it would be difficult to go early/stay late and run the kids energy off before/after the meal. Also my DH has been working away at recently, so he's not keen on long journeys at the weekend, especially ones that will inhibit his time to play with the kids.

TubbyDuffs Wed 10-Aug-11 13:36:48

YANBU, you have phoned and explained, not let her down at the last minute.

MajorB Wed 10-Aug-11 13:39:43

Phew, glad at least one person doesn't thingk I'm out of order!

MadamDeathstare Wed 10-Aug-11 13:50:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittensliveupstairs Wed 10-Aug-11 13:54:44

YANBU, it really doesn't sound like a lot of fun will be had.

plupervert Wed 10-Aug-11 14:00:51

...and your friend should thank you, too, for not subjecting others to your DCs' understandable hyperactivity

BustySinclair Wed 10-Aug-11 14:02:11

couldnt someone have minded the kids while you went alone if you wanted to go

neolara Wed 10-Aug-11 14:05:00

Completely reasonable. I would think someone was absolutely insane to drive 2 hours there and back for a 2 hour lunch.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Wed 10-Aug-11 14:14:24

So the kids would be sitting in a car for 2 hours then in a restaurant for 2 hours and then in the car for another 2 hours! Recipe for disaster. No child is going to be ok with that! It would be a nightmare of trying to keep them at the table (or getting down every 5 mins for little walks with them) then 2 hours of moaning/screaming all the way home!

MajorB Wed 10-Aug-11 16:35:03

Well it does seem that I've been pretty reasonable then, it's just my friend has been a bit quiet so I'm wondering if I have offended her.
Busty- would love it if we had people on hand to babysit, but unfortunately we don't, and whilst my DH or I could go on our own (they're joint friends) it would mean us missing family time together, and we really haven't seen much of each other recently.
I will get on the case of arranging a more central night out for the adults, we'll get more time to catch up that way anyway.
Thanks for all your comments.

ENormaSnob Wed 10-Aug-11 16:38:00


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