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To limit how much my 10 yo dd plays out?

(7 Posts)
aquos Wed 10-Aug-11 13:30:18

my dd loves playing out. She loves calling on her friends, of which there are 3, aged 7,8 and 9 and who all live in our road.

My concern is that they don't really play out much. She calls on them and spends time in their houses, sometimes several hours at a time. She often seems to be eating and drinking at their houses, comes home with things she says the kids have given her etc.

Ocassionally one or other of the girls will play at our house, but after a short time dd says they are bored and disappears out again.

We have lived here less than a year and I don't know any of the mums other than to say hello to. Dh says I shouldn't worry and that if the mums don't want dd at their houses they will say so, but I am worried she is making a nuisance of herself. For that reason I have been limiting how often she calls on her friends and how long she spends out? AIBU?

mollymole Wed 10-Aug-11 13:32:53

why don't you ask these children over to play at yours

worraliberty Wed 10-Aug-11 13:33:15

Well your thread title is a bit misleading really as she's not playing 'out' if she's in other people's houses.

When my kids tell me they're playing in a neighbours house, I usually knock and just make sure it's ok with them.

aquos Wed 10-Aug-11 13:40:05

The other girls are welcome to play at our house. It's just that dd prefers to be out playing at their houses. I think she thinks it is grown up to be calling on people and spending time at their houses instead of being at home with her mum. She's one of those kids that when she was younger would beg the other kids to get an invite to tea at their house.

worraliberty Wed 10-Aug-11 13:42:24

If you're worried about her making a nuisance of herself, why don't you knock and make sure she's actually welcome?

thebeansmum Wed 10-Aug-11 13:43:10

Yep, agree with worraliberty on this one, you really need to speak to the parents. For a couple of reasons. It can be irritating to have a house full of uninvited kids eating and drinking and messing the place up - I know, it seems to happen to me a lot, but my kids play out a lot as well and I have phoned/called round the other target houses to instruct them to feel free to chase them if it's not convenient.

You need to speak to your kids as well, I have told mine that unless invited in by an adult, to play outside and don't be constantly asking for drinks and crisps! It's all become really relaxed around here now as we all seem to feel the same way, nobody's embarrassed about chasing kids if you don't want them there, without anyone taking offence.

worraliberty Wed 10-Aug-11 13:49:43

Also because my 8yr old was invited to his 10yr old friend's house the other day, and it turned out the parents weren't even at home...they were at work!

If I hadn't knocked to make sure it was ok, I would have assumed a parent was there.

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