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To not comprehend how someone who was fine just a week ago

(28 Posts)
magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:02:50

can be told today that she has only a week or two to live.

I just can't get my head around it.

Monty27 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:04:00

I'm sorry to hear this Magic, are they a friend or relative?

BoysAreLikeDogs Tue 09-Aug-11 23:04:09

what has happened? sad

elmofan Tue 09-Aug-11 23:08:11


magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:08:13

It's a close family friend - she's like a second mum to me, I practically grew up in her house. Just can't take it in. It seems so sudden, so savage. I can't imagine what her kids are going through.

Life can be snatched away so suddenly.

LoopyLoopsTootyFroots Tue 09-Aug-11 23:09:12

sad so sorry sad

GypsyMoth Tue 09-Aug-11 23:10:07

thats what happened to my mum.....ovarian cancer

so,so sorrysad

CurrySpice Tue 09-Aug-11 23:12:38

Oh goodness sad how terrible

I'm so sorry sad

Curiousmama Tue 09-Aug-11 23:14:47

sad I know it's so unreal. So sorry.

magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:15:11

I'm so sorry about your mum, tiffany.

What can I do to help the family cope? They're miles away but I'm going to go there tomorrow.

I am just in shock. Life is just so cruel.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Tue 09-Aug-11 23:17:41

Magic - I'm so sorry sad Life is very cruel sometimes.

Do you want to tell us what's happened?

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Tue 09-Aug-11 23:19:10

Just be there - spend as much time with them as you can and tell her how much you love her, tell her all of your memories etc and tell her that you will be there for all of her family etc. It will mean a lot to her to see you and to know you will be there for them.

Chummybud1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:20:13

So sorry that is real sad.

CarnivalBizarre Tue 09-Aug-11 23:23:44

So sorry to hear your news Magic - you are right, life is very cruel

This happened to a close family friend of ours too - don't lose hope, our friend was given a 3 week prognosis but lived out a very happy 9 months in which time she was able to say goodbye to family and friends and arrange her own amazing send off

Just hug her and tell her how much you love her - its all you can do sad - just be happy that you are privileged to know her

magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:27:53

She has pancreatic cancer, which has spread to other parts of the body. I just don't understand it - she has been feeling a bit off colour lately, but only from time to time, and nothing really. This has just come completely out of the blue.

magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:30:23

Thank you for the suggestions - and thank you, carnival, for the ray of hope. A week just doesn't seem long enough to say all of your goodbyes.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Tue 09-Aug-11 23:31:45

It is very, very hard to deal with the shock. The total disbelief is very overwhelming... it's just too hard to believe sad

You will all have to try to find the balance between hope and acceptance - which is beyond difficult.

I wish I could give you a big hug - actually, I wish I could make it go away for you.

How long can you go for this time?

CarnivalBizarre Tue 09-Aug-11 23:35:25

Magic, a week is never long enough and as long as your friend has the strength of spirit and doesn't take her prognosis lying down, she will have the time to say her goodbyes and put in place what she needs to before she leaves

Take care lovey x

magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:37:22

I don't know how long I can go for. Need to talk to my boss.

You're right, the disbelief is overwhelming. I think I could accept that she has cancer - but only a week to live? It just seems unreal. It isn't fair to have so little warning.

If I feel like this, I can't begin to think about her husband and children. And what can possibly be going through her own mind right now? It hurts to even think about it.

magicmummy1 Tue 09-Aug-11 23:40:48

Thanks carnival, I hope you're right. She is a strong, brave woman - I don't think she'll go without a fight.

Valpollicella Tue 09-Aug-11 23:43:29

I am so, so sorry to hear this. It seems especially cruel when you have inherited such wonderful people in your life...for them to be snatched away before their 'time' So, so sad

I hope you can spend some time with her over the coming days. Wishing you much love and strength x

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA Tue 09-Aug-11 23:48:14

What's going through their minds is what's going through yours 'how the hell can this be happening/it cant' be right/how why how why - how will I cope without her'... don't play down your entitlement to be devastated by this, just because she's not actually your Mum - it doesn't mean it can't hurt just as much x

It isn't fair to have so little warning, but you have had some. I lost my Dad 2 years ago, an accident, he went out in the morning and never came home. 62, fit, healthy etc. Appreciate your opportunity to tell her how much she means to you - many people don't get that 'opportunity'.

I have also lost loved ones to cancer - the 'time left' has not once been accurate - some much less time, some more time. All you can do is take each day as a blessing and make the most of it. Even if you have to come back, call her, send her 'treats', write her letters...

But the bottom line is - life can be shit and very, very unfair and good people should never die sad xxx

LesserOfTwoWeevils Tue 09-Aug-11 23:48:37

Sorry to hear your sad news. I knew someone who's just died of pancreatic cancer. His DIL said he didn't have any pain at all. I hope that's some consolation. He just gradually faded away over several months.

mrsdonkeybucket Tue 09-Aug-11 23:54:15

So sorry to hear you have had such sad, bad news.

Cancer is bloody horrible. It can take people so quickly, and can also take a long time. I have experienced it with relatives on both sides of the coin.

I will be thinking of you.

Sending you love and hugs.

iscream Tue 09-Aug-11 23:57:46

I am sorry about your dear friend. My cousin died a few weeks after being diagnosed with the same cancer. He had been having pains but ignoring them.

Death can come quickly and unexpectedly, can and does all the time. You just don't think it can happen to someone you know.
I hope she has an easy passing.

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