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to give DD chocolate when she hurts herself

(32 Posts)
StrandedBear Tue 09-Aug-11 21:11:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GollyHolightly Tue 09-Aug-11 21:12:30

I doubt she'd hurt herself for chocolate, but she might start to associate food with comfort which isn't a great idea I don't think?

BoysAreLikeDogs Tue 09-Aug-11 21:14:26

yy the association between cheering up and food has dogged my entire life because this is how my parents treated me as a child (am mid 40s with bad comfort eating habit sad)

rhondajean Tue 09-Aug-11 21:15:29

Im sure that I read some research about having a small sweet treat actually making pain easier to handle whatever your age, and then theres the distraction technique, make her not think about it. If you normally include chocolate as part of an otherwise balanced diet I dont think you have anything to worry about, especially if youre only giving it for big hurts and not minor bumps, stop worrying!

StrandedBear Tue 09-Aug-11 21:16:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

funnypeculiar Tue 09-Aug-11 21:17:14

Agree with gollygolightly - highly unlikely she'd hurt herself for chocolate, but I wouldn't want to set up a 'chocolate makes it all better'/food is the way to sort out pain association in a small child even if I believe it does. I certainly think there's a danger that as she gets older she learns to make a bigger deal about her cuts and grazes with the hope of chocolate. Mine certainly would have given that a go...

Getawaygirl Tue 09-Aug-11 21:17:45

I do this with my 19 month old but only when he's really upset from a tumble or knock. Along with the cuddles it stops the tears and gives some extra comfort. YANBU.

Hope your DD is ok now.

wellwisher Tue 09-Aug-11 21:25:06

YABU to create an association of food, particularly sugary, high-fat food, with comfort in your DD's mind. It simply isn't accurate to say that she wouldn't calm down without it - most people manage to console crying toddlers without shoving chocolate into their mouths!

On the plus side, in a few years' time when she's morbidly obese from comfort eating, falling over won't hurt as much with all the extra padding...

TrillianAstra Tue 09-Aug-11 21:28:47

This could lead to an destructive spiral of self-harm in her quest to feed her ever-growing chocolate addiction.

rogersmellyonthetelly Tue 09-Aug-11 21:35:46

Ah bollocks, I do it too, so do most mums I know. There's nowt like a packet of chocolate buttons to distract a hysterical child from the agony of a small graze on the knee. My mum used to do it too, and I don't associate chocolate with comfort, I associate it with getting fat. All things in moderation I say. neither of mine have ever hurt themselves deliberately to get chocolate.

crazygracieuk Tue 09-Aug-11 21:35:59

I think yabu but if you use food to comfort yourself then I see why you might instinctively do it for your dd. I think that children fall over a lot so it's not a suitable solution really as she'll be at nursery/school before you know it and they wouldn't give chocolate.

Kayano Tue 09-Aug-11 21:36:27

My mum did this, called it chocolate medicine.

I never deliberately hurt myself but I did alway associate chocolate with healing pain....

Now I'm a chubby chocoholic

Don't do it IMO

EndoplasmicReticulum Tue 09-Aug-11 21:37:27

It's a useful diagnostic tool, the chocolate button test. If the small injured party doesn't stop crying with the application of chocolate you know they've really hurt themselves.

Marne Tue 09-Aug-11 21:40:45

I use food to calm dd2 down (its the only thing that works), she fell at the weekend and cut her mouth and knocked her teath, we took her to out of hours GP and then we stoped at my mums house on the way home where my mums partner stuffed her with Orio's grin, Dd2 does fall over a lot and doesn't always get a treat but sometimes it has to be done and i don't think any harm is done.

Kayano Tue 09-Aug-11 21:41:03

Literally my cat died and I was sobbingly heart out and the only thing I could think of was how I did not have anychocolate in te house

Shamefully sent DH out for some.

crazygracieuk Tue 09-Aug-11 21:42:11

If I gave out chocolate for each fall, I'd need a shop load of chocolate in my cupboards. My kids have loads of accidents.

musttidyupmusttidyup Tue 09-Aug-11 21:42:51

Oh what a load of codswallop a chocolate button for 'being so brave' does not an eating disorder make. grin

ImperialBlether Tue 09-Aug-11 21:46:00

I agree with you, musttidy! And all the women on here who have a glass of wine when they've had a stressful day should be able to identify with this little one who just wants a chocolate button when she's scraped her nose.

VeronicaCake Tue 09-Aug-11 22:01:35

There is quite a lot of evidence about how sweet tastes reduce our perception of pain. I had a major accident and sustained multiple injuries a couple of years ago. When I came round in A&E I was obviously in shock and a very nice nurse made my husband promise to get me some chocolate and sweet tea just as soon as the doctors had decided I didn't surgery (and therefore nothing in my tummy). She was adamant that this was sound medical advice!

I still remember how good those medically necessary maltesers tasted.

And of course small children fall over a lot but they don't usually injure their faces, bang their heads and need medical attention. Those kind of circumstances deserve special measures. I hope your DD is fine now.

ZhenXiang Tue 09-Aug-11 22:05:40

I did the same when DD was that age, but now she is a bit older and tougher (25 months) a kiss and cuddle suffices.

She has started doing the pretend 'it hurts' just to get kisses, cuddles and sympathy though so guess if I hadn't stopped the chocolate she might have tried it on to get that too.

Sleepyspaniel Tue 09-Aug-11 22:09:44

I don't think every small accident warrants chocolate but a bigger one such as the one your describe, is probably helped by a bit of chocolate.

I think as long as you don't give chocolate each and every accident, plus you are careful not to say anything that specifically reiterates that chocolate is a soother (ie "have a button, buttons make it all better don't they? " etc etc), it's probably not that bad. Maybe keep it neutral such as "let's have some buttons" rather than referring to the accident/bravery/treat/reward elements.

squeakytoy Tue 09-Aug-11 22:38:43

I cant see a child deliberately self harming in order to receive chocolate.. or developing an eating disorder from the occasional chocolate button either.

I do despair at the world we are living in when people are so obsessed with a small quantity of chocolate being on a par with poison.

It must be a worrying time for those of you at Easter grin

StrandedBear Tue 09-Aug-11 22:44:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minshu Tue 09-Aug-11 22:47:12

I don't like giving chocolate to "make it all better", but if a child is getting whiney and wobbly (and so more likely to fall over and make a big fuss) due to hunger / low blood sugar, it can be useful to tide over until a meal is on the cards.

Potential problem really comes if you have an incident when there is no chocolate handy shock <having just devoured a large amount of galaxy caramel>

Minshu Tue 09-Aug-11 22:49:33

My DD surprises me at how few bruises end up showing the day after horrible looking tumbles - hopefully yours will be the same smile

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