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AIBU?

To be irritated my neighbour sees asking her to sort our garden boundary once a year as HARRASSMENT!

41 replies

Gentleness · 09/08/2011 16:32

I mean we ask once a year. The area is a passageway between 2 gardens giving her rear access to her garden next-door-but-one. Last time she said she couldn't afford it and we said fair enough but it is damaging our fence and enroaching into our garden (we're talking 12ft high brambles etc) so hopefully soon. This time I just went round with freshly baked muffins and offered to pay £100 toward the cost (about 1/2) or help physically.

She immediately waved me away, claimed we were pressurising her, claimed the muffins were a bribe (a BRIBE!), claimed she'd given us permission to sort it ourselves, claimed we keep on asking her and said it sounded like we were demanding it to be sorted. I stressed we just wanted to work with her on it, we couldn't afford the money or time ourselves and I'm limited physically (2 kids

OP posts:

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worraliberty · 09/08/2011 16:36

The muffins were a nice idea but if she's not happy about you asking her to sort her own property out, she probably rolled her eyes at them.

Why don't you just cut the brambles that overhang your garden and leave her alone? If she's skint, she's skint and if she doesn't feel the need to sort her garden out...what can you do?

DontGoCurly · 09/08/2011 16:45

What's the problem with the brambles?

Are they cutting off your light or do you just not like the look of them?

If it's just cosmetic then YABU.

nickelbabe · 09/08/2011 16:48

fuck it: if she won't do it, and she's said "claimed she'd given us permission to sort it ourselves," , just get someone to do it (family member maybe, just so you don't have to worry about costs?)

and don't get it done nicely, just chop it all down.

nickelbabe · 09/08/2011 16:49

curly "but it is damaging our fence and enroaching into our garden"

worraliberty · 09/08/2011 16:51

It must be a pretty old and flimsy fence for brambles to actually damage it and if it encroaches into their garden, legally they can chop off the overhang.

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo · 09/08/2011 16:51

YANBU to ask, and if it was me, I'd have liked the muffins! (where do you live?)

If you've got free access to the area then you prob just need to go and sort it just enough so it doesn't damage your fence. Although it is VU of her not to help when it's her problem too and you are ill with small kids. But you'll just have to be content with the moral high ground there.

Although I'm fairly certain she is legally required to make sure plants on her property don't damage yours. But perhaps the passageway isn't her property? And in any case, prob more hassle to get her to do it than to do it yourselves.

If it is a passageway rather than a garden, can you shove down a lot of weedkiller?

TheMonster · 09/08/2011 16:51

The garden behind us is full of brambles, which come through the fence. All I do is cut them off at chuck them over. I figure if they don't care about their own garden then they won't care about my garden or my fence.

nickelbabe · 09/08/2011 16:52

really worra ??
i've seen the damage brambles can do in just one year - even to a sturdy fence.

InstantAtom · 09/08/2011 16:53

YANBU to want the boundary sorted out. Sounds like you'll have to take the debate to a legal level if she is causing damage to your garden by refusing to sort it out.

However I can see why "Here are some muffins, now could you do this please?" could be taken the wrong way - would you have ever given her muffins if you hadn't wanted her to sort out the boundary?

ChristinedePizan · 09/08/2011 16:58

It costs £200 to cut down some brambles? Bloody hell. I'd just cut down the ones that are against your fence and spray the area with glyphosate

Gonzo33 · 09/08/2011 17:12

Don't forget it you cut her brambles you have to give her the cuttings chuck them over the fence

Gentleness · 09/08/2011 18:03

Yeah - we're going to just have to get on and do it. I'd kind of hoped that over a year it might have moved up her priority list a bit and this IS the year she said she was going to get it sorted. But there you go...

Big job though so £200 best quotes seemed reasonable. It's awkward too as the passageway is only maybe a metre wide and runs the entire length of the gardens (25m maybe) and the overgrowth is a nasty 3m (not 12ft sorry!) high mix of brambles, bindweed and all sorts. (And yes they are damaging the sturdy 4yr old fence by pushing through the slats). Cutting the overgrowth down to the height of the fence (6ft) would involve getting a ladder into a narrow badly raised border and be just as tricky a job really. Plus both would take tools we don't have. We're looking at around 75 cubic metres of garden waste - maybe we should get a skip and put it outside her house!

I so wish I hadn't taken the darn muffins round though. I can see how dodgy it looked in retrospect. One of those things that seemed a good idea at the time...

OP posts:

Collaborate · 10/08/2011 09:43

If the passageway isn't on your land then you can only cut at the boundary of your property, unless you have the permission of the landowner.

FellatioNelson · 14/08/2011 08:03

I'd tell her that if she doesn't get the stuff cut back and dealt with, then it will damage your fence and she will get the bill for that, which is likely to be substantially more than the cost of getting a strimmer out. Is she renting or is it a council property? If so you could contact her landlord.

swallowedAfly · 14/08/2011 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

rogersmellyonthetelly · 14/08/2011 08:30

Yanbu, brambles are a menace. Our next door neighbour is allowing them to grow in her garden as she can't deal with them, and they are coming through our fence thick and fast. They are very fast growing and vicious when I'm trying to weed the border.

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 14/08/2011 08:30

swallowedafly, you should try some topless sunbathing :o or do you think he would just call the police?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/08/2011 08:34

some people can't afford £100 and may feel very stressed by you demanding it.....

RunAwayWife · 14/08/2011 08:51

Swallowedafly, at 85 I think all you can do is wait for him to pop his clogs

FellatioNelson · 14/08/2011 08:55

Agreed Fanjo, but she could have tackled it before it got to the stage where it needed a horny-handed man with heavy equipment to come in and deal with it. Or it could still be done for zero pounds if she did it herself or got help from friends/relatives. It's not really an excuse to let something get totally out of hand to a point where it is a problem for others because of lack of funds.

swallowedAfly · 14/08/2011 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/08/2011 09:01

yes, true, but I am just trying to explain why I think she got so defensive about it.

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ZillionChocolate · 14/08/2011 09:05

She's a bitch. Being a homeowner comes with all kinds of dull and expensive responsibilities. If she didn't want those she should have rented. I thought taking muffins round was nice.

TartyMcFarty · 14/08/2011 09:23

Would you be able to claim off her insurance if if does wreck your fence?

iwasyoungonce · 14/08/2011 09:24

I'll eat the banana muffins, if this would help?

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