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to be petrified at how quickly life goes by?

(103 Posts)
wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 13:25:29

Seriously, have been thinking about this far too much the last few years, to the point where it can cause shivers of fear to go through me. That's not normal is it? I'm 37. I consider myself a very lucky person with a happy healthy family with no more problems than the usual ups and downs of life. It's a cliche that the older you get the faster the years go by, but since our first dc was born I feel like I've blinked and 10 years has passed. So why spend time worrying about how much time I have left, and how to stop?

BustySinclair Mon 08-Aug-11 13:33:29

yes you are right, I am ten years older than you and think the time since the kids were small when i was early 20s to now has gone by in a blur

am now starting to look towards early retirement - now that is scary!!

AngelDelightIsFab Mon 08-Aug-11 13:33:40

I feel the same sometimes. It's always to do with the kids. Either I worry about what would happen to them or I worry what I would miss in their lives. Luckily, these moments don't last long (no pun intended!) and I usually go forward being more appreciative of the little things in life, esp. with my kids. Makes me more grateful to have today, rather than worry about tommorrow.

BustySinclair Mon 08-Aug-11 13:34:48

also, I look at next door who has two little kids same age gap as mine and i remember mine when they were that age and am shocked that its 20 years ago! I remember it like yesterday

spookshowangel Mon 08-Aug-11 13:38:49

yep its normal its started happening to me in the last few years one second its new years day and all of a sudden i am thinking about what to get the kids for christmas again. my life is speeding up rapidly towards death and if i think about it to much i get a bit paniky so i tend not to think about it and just enjoy what is going on right now.

seasidesister Mon 08-Aug-11 13:39:29

I think when you are busy time goes really quickly. Also when you do the same things, same routines etc.
You can slow your awareness down a bit by being more mindful of how you spend your time, varying your routines and changing how you spend your time.
But yes, I agree that its scary how fast it can go. Ive been in my "new career" now for 12 years now!

wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 13:39:40

I know I need to live more in the moment and just stop this nonsense. Sometimes I hear something sad that has happened to someone I know and feel so grateful for my family and health etc and then guilty for worrying about silly things which might never happen.

seasidesister Mon 08-Aug-11 13:49:28

When you say "just stop this nonsense" it sounds as if you are annoyed with yourself. You are entitled to your feelings. I think its normal to feel this way as you get older.

If this is something you feel is getting out of hand and affecting your enjoyment of life it could be worth seeing your GP.

Whatmeworry Mon 08-Aug-11 13:51:10

Once DCs arrive life accelerates hugely, dunno if it slows down again once they fly the nest.

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 08-Aug-11 13:52:10

Thank you for starting this thread. I never realised others felt like this, thought i was alone. Other people seem to bowl through life as if they don't understand that one day they will die. The very thought of no longer existing gives me cold shivers and makes living at all seem rather pointless.

BustySinclair Mon 08-Aug-11 13:55:06

The very thought of no longer existing gives me cold shivers and makes living at all seem rather pointless.

i dont really worry about no longer existing, i wont know anything about it anyway. But i do ponder on if my OH goes first and I am left on my own

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 08-Aug-11 13:57:00

If you're not normal, neither am I grin

I feel like I'm continually looking at a scene from one of those 1940's films where the passage of time is signified by days/weeks/months falling off a calendar, but in my case entire years are falling off the wall.

Exhortions to live in the 'now' are all very well but, in reality, the 'moment' doesn't last very long at all.

The pathos and the seeming randomness of life is something I've been pondering a lot lately; unfortunately I haven't yet been able to derive much consolation from knowing that time as we know it doesn't exist and that, in effect, all time is now.

ImperialBlether Mon 08-Aug-11 14:05:56

I know that the recommendation for resolving this is to make sure you do a lot of new activities. Years can pass by quickly if you always follow the same routine and don't do anything new.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Mon 08-Aug-11 14:09:57

In that case Her Maj's clock must be in mach drive plus warp Imperial grin

pranma Mon 08-Aug-11 14:13:57

You are the same age as my dd and I am 30 years older-believe me the last 37 years have gone by on wings and I hate the thought that I'll be lucky to have another 10-it feels very scary indeed.

akaemmafrost Mon 08-Aug-11 14:15:11

I am forty. I think this every day. Especially since I have had children. Once minute they were new born, all of a sudden I have an 8 year old and a four year old. It makes me really sad so I try very hard to make every day count as far as possible. I don't want to look back and have wasted all this time with my amazing children.

wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 14:15:43

Seasidesister I agree these feeling should be acknowledged but they really are not helpful which I why I call them silly nonsense! There's nothing you can do about getting older and having less time left, so why worry about it? Easier said than done obviously. I tell myself things like the alternative to watching time passing by is dying young. Ugh. I'm not depressed though, don't feel I need to see my GP, just have a bit of an introspective personality, a bit prone to anxiety maybe.

I never though much about this before having my dcs, and when they were little I guess I was too busy looking after them and having a couple more. It's now a strange combination of feeling lucky to have time to watch them grow up without being super-busy with a demanding job etc, but at the same time feeling like what's next apart from geting older? Not making much sense here I don't think!

wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 14:16:27

Good to know there are others as strange as me by the way.wink

janelikesjam Mon 08-Aug-11 14:17:37

I agree with SeasideSister. Its a reminder to live our lives in awareness and consciousness and not waste it on trivia.*

*except on designated days of chocolate, wine and retail therapy grin

wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 14:17:49

so many typos, sorry.

akaemmafrost Mon 08-Aug-11 14:19:28

I don't think I worry about getting older so much as leaving my kids. Dear Lord I am welling up just thinking about it.

I do find it strange that the people I know now are the people I will probably always know. In my twenties life was so transient, moving about, new friends, new jobs etc. No things are more stable. I look at my friends sometimes and think we will probably be grey haired and old together now, hopefully.

mymumdom Mon 08-Aug-11 14:22:20

I do lots of new stuff but yes, time does seem to be whizzing by. It is scary but I'm determined to make the most of it. I'm 41 so realistically my life is probably half over, which scares me a little but the thought of not being here one day doesn't terrify me as much as it did when I was younger.
I do think I have become more accepting of it as I've aged.

wimpofawoman Mon 08-Aug-11 14:30:55

I do wonder when I look at people in their 80's who realistically don't have long left - they seem happy. Are they really? Especially considering they probably have some health niggles by then.

akaemmafrost Mon 08-Aug-11 14:34:29

I do think there is a certain acceptance that comes with old age. They see their peers passing on and it becomes normal. My Mum is in her sixties and talks about it quite frankly, which upsets me a bit, but she says that when you get to her age it doesn't feel like such a big thing and you get used to the idea of it. I also wonder if elderly people who are ill, tired and in pain have had enough and accept it for that reason too.

BulletWithAName Mon 08-Aug-11 14:40:14

No, YADNBU. It really depresses me, the thought of getting old and then ceasing to exist. In my head I'm still 16, it's just when I shake myself I realise I'm 23 and the last 7 years has flown by, it all seems too quick!

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